Candace 𝕗𝚛𝚎𝚎𝐰𝗲𝗯𝗻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝕞

My head felt heavy.

I lay on the cold floor beside the bed, staring up at the ceiling of my room. The chandelier above me blurred in and out of focus as tears stung the corners of my eyes.

I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even blink them away. My eyes filled up, and the hot tears slid down my cheeks.

Rays of sunlight poured in through the thick curtains, casting long golden slashes across the marble floor like bars on a cage which was quite fitting because that was exactly how I felt now. Caged and losing my mind.

I couldn’t move. I could hardly breathe.

Every time I closed my eyes, the images from last night slammed back into me, viciously and so clear, it felt like I was constantly trapped in that moment as it replayed over and over in my head.

My wrists stung, and I could still feel the leather cuffs biting into my wrists and ankles as I fought desperately to get away from them, to block out the filthy sounds of their bodies claiming Deidre inches away from me.

I could hear Ragnor’s low groans as he drove into Deidre, Reign’s filthy praises murmured against her neck, and I could just see Ryker’s hand fisting her hair while he called her good girl.

Hot, searing pain burned from my chest and spread out to the rest of my body and the worst part, the part that made bile crawl up my throat, was how my own body had betrayed me.

Star had whimpered and howled inside my chest, torn between agony and desperate, shameful need. I was disgusted with myself.

Despite the way my heart shattered, heat had pooled low in my belly when they touched her, and that made me nauseated. My nipples had tightened when Reign’s mouth closed around Deidre’s breast.

My thighs had clenched when Ragnor’s fingers disappeared between her legs. The bond had pulsed through me like liquid fire, forcing unwanted pleasure through my veins while they painted my skin with their release.

How could you? I screamed silently at my own body. After everything they did to us? After the way they treated us, how could you?!

I hated myself for wanting them still. I hated them more for still being the ghosts of the boys I had loved.

Did you see the looks on their faces? Star curled tighter inside me, wallowing in pain.

The hatred in their eyes as they humiliated me and wanked all over me. The floor didn’t feel so cold anymore as disgust crawled up my skin. Those boys were dead. Only monsters remained.

A broken sound tore from my throat as fresh tears slipped down my temples and into my hair.

I don’t know how long I lay there before the agony finally drove my muscles to move.

I had to rid myself of their cum on my skin, the stench of humiliation — I needed to wash it off before I lost my freaking mind.

With a sob, I stood up. The wounds from the cuffs were healing, but the sting felt brand new every second. My knees wobbled as I rose to my feet, my eyes burning with tears as I glared at the sheets on the bed.

Their scent and Deidre’s saturated the air, and more sobs tore from my throat. I grabbed the sheets, screaming and grunting as I wrenched them off, anger and pain rolling through my veins.

It had taken hours and great pain to work my wrists and ankles free from the cuffs after they abandoned my room.

When I finally managed to tear the sheets off the bed, I hurled them into a corner and immediately stormed into the bathroom. I turned the shower on as hot as it would go and scrubbed myself raw, until my skin burned and my tears mixed with the water.

When I finally stepped out, I caught my reflection in the full-length mirror. The mating marks on my neck stood out against my pale skin.

The three marks pulsed faintly with the bond, and it just made me shiver in pain. I lifted my trembling fingers and traced them. Years ago, I would have jumped for joy to have my best friends as mates.

I had imagined my wedding night with them would be romantic and loving.

Yeah, how romantic it turned out. So, freaking romantic!

I turned away from the mirror before the sight could break me further and found a simple black dress in the closet. After slipping it on, I dragged out one of the bags Luna Ashley had given me last night.

Dropping to my knees on the carpet, I rifled through the bag, blinking back the tears that kept threatening to fall. My mobile phone. Goddess, it had been so long.

I turned it on with shaking fingers, a sad smile tugging at my lips at the little pink wolf charm dangling from the case.

Stephen and I used to argue endlessly about how pink wolves didn’t exist. He’d tease me mercilessly, and I’d chase him around the garden until Mother scolded us both. I never thought a day would come when I wouldn’t see my little brother, and yet, the universe had dealt me a terrible blow.

The wallpaper loaded, and my breath caught painfully in my throat. It was a chaotic selfie of me and the Pendragon quadruplets.

For a long moment, I simply stared. Reign was holding the phone far above our heads, grinning like the menace he was. I was halfway out of my seat trying to snatch it back because he had stolen it from me moments earlier.

Behind him, Ryker was holding up his middle finger while laughing so hard his shoulders shook. Ragnor looked thoroughly unimpressed with all of us, though I still remembered how he had failed miserably at hiding his smile less than a second later.

And River... My chest tightened violently.

River had his arm looped around my neck while sticking his tongue out at the camera.

Looking at the picture now felt like someone had reached into my chest and squeezed my heart.

I remembered that day. We had spent the entire afternoon by the lake. Ryker had stolen my sandals and refused to give them back.

Reign had hidden my phone in a tree and laughed while I threatened to drown him.

River had nearly fallen into the water trying to save me from a goose that had chased me halfway across the shoreline.

And Ragnor... a watery laugh escaped me.

Ragnor had carried me all the way home after I stepped on a sharp stone and refused to walk barefoot.

I remembered burying my face against his shoulder while he complained I was spoiled.

I remembered thinking that I could stay there forever.

The smile disappeared from my lips. Now one of them was dead, three of them hated me and I was standing alone. My fingers trembled as I brushed over the screen.

The five people smiling back at me looked happy. Those were best days of my life.

Yeah, the last of the best days of my life.

I tapped the device, scrolling through the contacts on my phone. It worked well despite not being used for three years.

The battery was quite low, so I would have to charge it soon. I reached for the diary in the box when a knock came on the door. Before I could get up to answer it, the door swung open, and Luna Ashley walked in.

My bones protested in pain as I quickly rose to my feet. "Luna,"

She smiled weakly at me, her eyes drifting around the room as she held up a small bottle of pills. "I thought you might need something for the pain."

My cheeks heated up; she probably thought my wedding night had been consummated. She had no idea how wrong she was.

I stepped away from the box, walking over to her, keeping my head bowed. "Thank you, Luna,"

Her eyes narrowed as she studied my face. "Are you okay?"

No, I wanted to scream. No, I wasn’t okay and I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Her sons had humiliated me last night. Instead, I just smiled and nodded meekly, taking the bottle from her hands.

I needed something for the pain — not just the kind of pain she was referring to.

"It’s time for breakfast anyway. You’ll take that after eating," She informed, taking my hand to my surprise.

"Come, the maids must have finished setting up the table."

My heart leaped in my throat. I would rather eat my breakfast in here and never set eyes on those cruel jerks ever again, but I didn’t know how to tell that to Luna Ashley, so I let her tug me towards the door, my heart thumping with each step I took.