That had been an overboard joke. I realize as soon as the words leave my tongue. "I am kidding! That was a joke." A really dark one. "You are trying to be a mood cheerer, I know." Gweneth said understandably.

"Did it work?" I ask.

"It did. For like a second."

I hum. "Am glad. When will you be coming home?"

"Maybe tomorrow or the day after." My mood dips. I knew I it. I just hope she doesn’t stay longer than that.

"You are not scared of being on your own, are you?"

I let out an amused fake laugh in response. "Afraid? Girl, have you forgotten who I am? I survived wellington’s haunted house and came out the only person to do so in the history of customers in haunted houses. Ghosts are the ones afraid of me." I brag.

"Yeah right. I forgot that you are a scarecrow of ghosts."

"Hmm-mmm. You got that right. So spend time with our little brother and come home so we can put our heads together on how to get him better."

I start feeling the eery cold emptiness like I am alone in some mystic fantasy old castle in the forest and atop a mountain facing the ocean as soon as I put the phone down when the call ends. I made the scrambled eggs, as well as toast. But only ate a portion of it.

I cocooned myself in a thick blanket to somehow counter the feeling of being watched by something unseen. I get this creepy feeling that something horrible would just materialize itself in front of me. "Ghosts do not exist. They can be only created by the mind." I chant that to myself repeatedly. I pick a highschool rom-com to watch on Netflix. Watching movies and hearing the Tv speak will make me not too alone.

The movie centers on a girl named Jade who is kind of an emo kid. She is awkward at school. Overshadowed at home by her popular and handsome big brother. She has a huge crush on his friend.

I could totally relate to Jade. And that resonance with her character brings back a memory of someone that I should forget now. I try to shake it out of my head and keep my eyes peeled on the tv screen. Occasionally laughing and blushing to the awkward and funny moments when she tries to act cold and natural around him like he doesn’t live rent free in her head. Haha. I have been there. Done that. I was really enjoying it until his name in the movie was called. The guy whom Jade has a crush on is called Nate. I instantly went rigid. It wasn’t just the name. I swear he is similar to my Nate. Athletic posture, height—everything.

This is a cruel joke. I put on another movie. This time, a thriller series played by Brad Pitt. I switched that out too because young Brad Pitt somehow reminds of me of Nate—even though they look nothing alike.

At a point in the third movie which was a sci-fi, I decided to just go to sleep and call it a night. I took one tablet of sleeping medication I purchased the day after I killed Nate. Sleeping peacefully like I used to has now become difficult.

Weird thoughts of something watching me and feeling like I am not alone keeps me up. It is going to be even worse now that I am alone.

This pills helps puts me in the kind of sleep whereby I would not be awakened by anything except my bodily functions.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What do you call a nightmare that you are aware of?

Is it strange to be aware that you in one? Maybe it is because I am expectant of it. Seeing myself walking in an unknown dark place with nothing but desolation around me. What else could it be? There is a light splash when I move my feet. I look down. Water. There is a dark pool of water at my feet. And it stretches so far all around me. I can’t see anything except for myself. I try to not be spooked as I look around.

I say to myself that it will end soon. I will open my eyes and wake up on the couch I had fallen asleep on. "Murderer." Something, or someone spoke. I look around me but still see nothing in the abstract darkness.

"Who are you? Show yourself!" I fiercely command. "I am not scared of this nightmare. And I am not scared of you. So stop fucking hiding in this stupid veil of darkness that you created."

"I created?" The voice giggles. "Funny of you to say that when you’re the creator of this."

"What do you mean?"

"You’ve always been a bad person, Annie. I am forced to be bad too because you have control over me. I am bad because I am you, and you are me."

I was wrong. This isn’t a nightmare. It is an insanity show.

"I don’t understand any of the shit you are saying. End this. Now!" I emphasize sharply. But the voice just nonchalantly goes on.

"Was killing him really a mistake?

Don’t lie to me because I am your very own mind. I gatekeep the insatiable darkness inside you."

"There is no darkness. And that was a mistake I deeply regret so don’t you dare have any ideas!"

"All the ideas I have are yours. They are what no one else but you created. Remember when you hired that assassin on the dark web to get rid of him and Briar on their wedding day. Remember who you poisoned before that?"

"Don’t you dare taunt me with that. I didn’t go along with it. I gave it up!"

"Liar! You would have done so if the guy had not bailed on you. Remember how mad we both were? We were even considering taking out your whole family."

"Stop it. Don’t say those things anymore." I say, but it doesn’t listen. It continues unwrapping the things that I want to remain a secret even to myself. Things that I fear myself for thinking of in the first place.

"You could not find someone else willing to do the job so you settled with putting on those sex videos to cool off your angry steam." It laughs in a scary manner. "You are a monster."

"I fucking said stop it!!" I yelled out loud. 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

I awoke with a gasp. Scared and shivering all over. "What kind of dream was that?" I say in a monologue. How did that thing know my biggest secrets? The ring on the door came right on time to add another layer to the spookiness. It rings again and again. I stalk towards the door with a metal bat like a lamb in search of one of its own in a lion’s territory.

"Hey!"

"Jesus!" I exclaimed with a startle jump as Kyle suddenly brings his face in my line of sight. A move that would have seemed like a pleasant surprise more or less but I am in no mood for any sort of surprise right now. Pleasant or not pleasant.

"Sorry. I didn’t mean to—"

"What is wrong with you, Kyle! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I scream all of my fury at him.

". . . Sorry." He said as he eyes me in observation from my head to my toes. I am in nothing but a light camisole, but who cares? It doesn’t make me any less sexier.

"My eyes are on my face. Not on my legs and tits." I say when he spends time looking at my body.

"Sorry. You are just too distracting." He apologizes. This is the thing about my floormate Kyle. He moved here just last year and he has never once bothered to hide his interest or conceal it a little. No, he is shamelessly outright about it.

He goes on trips for his photography and always comes back to his apartment every once in while and he uses most of that time bother me. He is so annoying, really. I had rather keep a fly pet and let it buzz around my ears all day.

"So you are back." I say with indifference. Leaning against the doorframe, crossing my arms under my chest and using it to push up my tits. I notice how his gaze briefly goes to it then back on my face. "Why didn’t you get shot dead in Vietnam and do me the favor of a lifetime of never having to see your stupid face again?"

He laughs at my cynical remark like it is a pleasant joke. "What’s so funny?" I grim.

"Sorry I disappointed you. But you should know that I got into the wrong neighborhood in Cotaya.

A group of mob guys nearly took me out. I barely managed to escape them with my life.

It doesn’t matter how dangerous of a place I wind up in. I will come out alive because I still haven’t fulfilled my life goal of dating you yet."

I roll my eyes at his cheesy remark. Even a cheese factory will not have so much cheese as his lines does.

I have told him time and again that he can only dream of my pussy. He is never ever going to physically get it.

He is too much does of sunshine for me.