"Fuckkkk... Why the hell did countries suddenly decide to play Battleship with each other? Now everything’s gone to shit. Companies are firing people like they’re trimming pubic hair."

"Hey, chill out. You really want the FBI kicking down your door? Even if they don’t get you for this, you’ll end up in cuffs when they find your exotic hentai stash."

In the middle of the bickering, a rare voice of reason cut through.

"William, I know these last three years have been hell. Being a nine-to-five corporate slave in 2026 isn’t easy for anyone. But if you run out of toilet paper, just grab a newspaper. Hell, sometimes even a smooth rock does the trick."

"Aagh... I know. I’ve spent three years trying to get my shit together. No family to back me up. Finally paid off my student loans, started thinking maybe I could finally find someone, start a family. But of course, this fucked-up world just wants me single forever. Twenty-six, for fuck’s sake."

William sat hunched in a gaming chair that he bought during an 11.11 sale two years back, the only light in the room came from his computer screen. The place barely had any furniture. Just a single bed, a messy desk, and shelves filled with novels, comics, and his hentai collection. These were the few small joys in his messed-up life.

He was a true orphan. He’d even given himself his own last name. Sometimes he wondered if he’d even been born in this world. Still, he never needed anyone’s help. He got to where he was on his own. The only thing he wanted now was a damn relationship. He’d been single so long, even his own handprints had started to fade.

It wasn’t like he was bad-looking or anything. William had a lean build and stood a solid six feet tall. Sure, the messy black hair and dark circles under his eyes didn’t help, but if he tried to clean up fr, those sharp features could actually make him handsome.

The real reason he was single was simple, money. With all his loans, he couldn’t even afford a half-decent date, and these days, relationships cost a hell of a lot more than just dinner.

Just as he finally paid off his debts, the company he worked for downsized. Now he was unemployed, wasting his days in an MMORPG with his only friends, Archie and Dante. The game was the only thing keeping his frustration in check.

Archie shouted, "Forget the crap outside and focus up! We need to clear this damn dungeon today. We have been stuck on this mission for a month."

William, eyes glued to the screen, muttered, "Yeah, I’d love to fuck this world sideways, but for now, smashing this oversized bull will do."

In the game, they faced a bull monster so massive that it would make pro-bodybuilders look like toddlers. The thing stood on its hind legs, swinging a sword bigger than any of their characters.

As the fight reached its end, Dante yelled, "William, you bastard, what the hell are you doing? I’m gonna die over here!"

William snapped back, "Yeah, yeah, I’m coming! Stop whining like a baby." His character lunged in, hacking off the monster’s sword arm. William hollered at the screen like the boss could hear him, "Tremble in fear, you bastard!"

Behind him, Archie groaned. "Save the cheesy lines and just finish it, will you? Some of us have real jobs to get to, unlike you."

Reminded of his unemployment, William clicked his tongue. "Tsk, I was about to do that. No need to rub in the whole jobless thing." With one final blow, his in-game character finished off the boss, finally clearing the mission.

Dante let out a long sigh. "Finally! It’s done. Now that we’ve finished all the missions, we can finally get the guild token."

William grinned. "Yup, now we can finally start Deamon Slayers."

Archie and Dante shot back in unison, "Hell no!"

Archie added, "We’re not calling ourselves something that damn dramatic. We’ll pick a name for the guild tomorrow, it’s almost midnight, man."

William looked at his phone, 11:59 p.m. "Come on, it sounds pretty cool. No?"

But before anyone could argue, something strange happened. A thunderous, almost apocalyptic voice blasted through their heads, so loud it felt like someone was screaming inside their heads.

"Greetings to all inhabitants of UMW-90221, Earth."

In the God Realm. Two figures stood next to each other. One was wearing a sleek black suit. He was Archivon, the God of Records. Next to him stood a massive, cylindrical figure with a head so huge that even his whispers could be heard across galaxies. He was Vocarius, the God of Announcements.

"Idiot, lower the volume! Are you trying to wipe out the whole planet before the trial even starts?" Archivon snapped, barely holding it together.

"Oh! My bad. Haven’t done this in ages, forgot they’re just mortals," Vocarius mumbled, scratching his massive head in sheepish embarrassment.

People on Earth grabbed their ears in pain. Some bled, a few even fainted from the sheer force of the announcement. In his dim room, William dropped to the floor, hands over his headphones in a desperate attempt to block out the pain.

His ears were still ringing from the voice when another announcement echoed, this time quieter.

"Um... Well, apologies. Forgot to control the volume."

Hearing the voice again, William sprang to his feet, looking around cluelessly. "Who the fuck is pulling a prank at midnight?" he snapped.

A second later, the voice crackled through his headphones, still connected to the group chat. Archie groaned, "Ugh... Which one of you motherfuckers is doing this? My ears almost exploded!"

Dante’s voice followed, raw and freaked out. "Arghhhh... I’m bleeding over here!"

While they all scrambled, clutching their heads in pain as the announcement just kept rolling, completely unaffected.

"So, where was I. Ah! Right, greetings, Earthlings, it’s officially your planet’s turn to participate in the Ascension Trial."

"In sometime, everyone ages 20 to 45 will be transported to the Tower Expanse."

"There, each of you will be receive your own tower, troops, and unique talents. You will compete until only one tower remains."

"You’ll receive all the details once you arrive. Get ready because the life you have all been living is about to change. That’s all from me. Vocarius signing out. Peace ✌︎︎. "

After the announcement ended, William reacted first. "Did someone develop some new sound-based weapon and decide to test it on their own country now?"

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[A/N]: Please consider supporting by sending some Power Stones and Golden tickets. Your support means a lot and really helps me continue writing.