Chapter 961: Chapter 752: The Final Step of Counseling (2)

Regarding Chen Lizhou’s self-reflection.

Nan Zhubin offered a "Positive Attention": "The fact that you can realize this is already very commendable."

"But merely realizing it isn’t enough. We need to further resolve this pain and break the cycle of ’Dissociation’."

Nan Zhubin said, "Next, I would like to combine your current situation and analyze in detail the core symptoms of your Personality Dissociation, and then use some professional psychological techniques to help you deal with those unspoken regrets and guilt."

Chen Lizhou didn’t speak, just nodded, his body slightly leaning forward.

For the last time, Nan Zhubin took on a knowledge-teaching posture: "The core of your ’Personality Dissociation’ is the result of the combination of ’emotional repression’, ’cognitive bias’, and ’unresolved issues’. "

As a consultant, Nan Zhubin intervened using as accessible language as possible.

"Firstly, you are long used to hiding emotions—guilt, grievance, resentment, self-blame. These negative emotions haven’t been vented, and they are slowly piling up in your heart."

"Everyone knows the principle that ’it’s better to clear than to block’, but you have been blocking yourself all this time."

Nan Zhubin gestured with his hands, showing a continually inflating gesture: "In this situation, your psychological endurance is like a constantly inflating balloon, eventually leading to an explosion you can’t handle."

Chen Lizhou took a deep breath and nodded.

Nan Zhubin continued: "Secondly, you have a cognitive bias regarding the measure of ’love’. Before your wife passed away, you thought you had given exceptionally much to her, but after her passing, you completely denied your love. This repeatedly plunged you into contradictions in the relationship, exacerbating the inner wear and tear."

"Finally, and most crucially—your wife’s sudden passing made you lose the chance to make amends and communicate honestly. Those unspoken apologies, unresolved misunderstandings, and unfulfilled promises all became ’unresolved issues’, like shackles that firmly trapped you."

Nan Zhubin again interlaced his fingers to make a tight clenching gesture.

"Unresolved..." Chen Lizhou couldn’t help but make the same gesture.

He subconsciously pursed his lips and nodded: "I indeed have many words... I didn’t manage to say to Fangfang. But these words are exactly what I wanted to say only after Fangfang was gone..."

"Call it awakening or repentance; in any case... it’s too late."

Chen Lizhou gradually leaned back on the sofa, his gaze becoming somewhat unfocused again.

Nan Zhubin firmly guided him, bringing Chen Lizhou’s attention back in time: "I know these regrets make you painful and powerless."

At the same time, using a bit of ’Empathy’ technique to express understanding of Chen Lizhou’s current feelings.

Nan Zhubin continued: "It’s precisely because of these unresolved matters that you have been unable to let go, causing your ’Personality Dissociation’ to repeatedly flare up."

"This is the focus we aim to resolve today."

"And to solve this issue," Nan Zhubin said, "we need to use the ’Empty Chair Technique’."

Chen Lizhou sat up straight again: "Empty Chair Technique?"

...

The ’Empty Chair Technique’ from the ’Gestalt Faction’ is a method specifically designed to address the impact of unfinished business or other matters that cannot be completed due to reality, on individuals.

Nan Zhubin has repeatedly used this technique in his previous psychological consultation career, like when intervening with those high school students in Jiangdu.

After briefly introducing this technique to Chen Lizhou.

Nan Zhubin said: "Next, just follow my guidance and speak your most genuine thoughts."

As he spoke, Nan Zhubin slowly stood up.

Although the setup of the EAP consultation room is generally complete, it is still somewhat basic compared to a formal consultation room. Each consultation room in Bai Qinghua Company is equipped with two single sofas and a long sofa, allowing the consultant to form an initial impression based on the type of sofa the visitor chooses to sit in.

And when encountering situations that require something like the ’Empty Chair Technique’, the extra sofa can come into play.

However, the EAP office only has two single sofas, so Nan Zhubin has to stand up and move his position to vacate his own sofa.

Then he pulled out a blank A4 paper from his folder and put the cushion upright to support this piece of paper directly facing Chen Lizhou.

After completing all this, Nan Zhubin slowly stepped back, allowing Chen Lizhou and the empty sofa to be simultaneously within his field of vision.

"Next, I hope you imagine your wife sitting in this chair."

Nan Zhubin simulated a scene: "Just like when you were at home before, quietly watching you and listening to you."

This uses the ’empty chair’ as a vehicle, allowing the visitor to directly vent unspoken emotions or thoughts towards a person or matter, completing a ’unfinished dialogue’ with them, thereby dispelling inner obsessions and pain.

Chen Lizhou’s gaze fell on the sofa, his body slightly tense, hands clenched, eyes somewhat evasive.

Although the ’Empty Chair Technique’ is very effective, it is still somewhat ’difficult’ for adults.

On one hand, it is somewhat like play-pretend, instinctively making adults dismissive; on the other hand, compared to minors, adults are relatively lacking in imagination and creativity, making it very hard for them to truly build the image they have in mind on the empty chair.

This is when the consultant comes into play.

Nan Zhubin looked at Chen Lizhou kindly, speaking smoothly: "Let’s take it slow. You don’t need to directly ’see’ Fangfang."

In his past psychological consultations, Nan Zhubin first mentioned the name of Chen Lizhou’s wife.

Previously, Nan Zhubin always used "your wife" to refer to her, out of politeness; now he calls her by name because it is more vivid.

"You can make her appear before you through details, little by little," Nan Zhubin said slowly, "Her expression, her gaze—"

"Just like how you remember her at her most familiar."

"And now, she just wants to hear what’s in your heart."

As Nan Zhubin spoke, he gently demonstrated deep breathing: "Follow me, deep breath, inhale—exhale—inhale—exhale—"

"Focus on your own breathing, relax your body, relax tense nerves—"

Chen Lizhou’s body unconsciously followed Nan Zhubin’s guidance.

"Tell yourself that here, you can say everything you want to say without fear, no judgment, no blame, only listening and understanding."

Initially, Chen Lizhou’s breathing was still somewhat quick, and his body remained stiff.

But with one deep breath after another, the restless atmosphere around him gradually calmed down, the hands he was holding also gradually relaxed, and the coolness in his fingertips slowly faded.

His gaze gradually fell on that empty chair, his eyes turning from evasive to focused.

After five deep breaths, Nan Zhubin guided Chen Lizhou back to normalcy. 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

After another five normal breathing periods.

Chen Lizhou finally slowly said: "Fangfang... I was wrong."

His voice was so hoarse it was almost inaudible.

His body tilted slightly forward, gaze fixed on that empty chair, as if he truly saw his wife.

"I... used to be very selfish, always imposing my thoughts on you. Always thinking that what I give you is the best."

"I even called you immature, said you are ungrateful... These words shouldn’t be said by a husband to his wife. I know you weren’t really denying me, nor truly complaining about me. You were just saying it on a whim, but my reaction was too extreme."

"And even after I said those words, you didn’t argue with me, I was the only one angry, you were just enduring me... And I used to think this was what you should do."

"But married life shouldn’t be like this; it shouldn’t measure who contributes more or less, and it’s also immeasurable; we are both striving for this family together..."