Chapter 43

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Shen Yu, who had to go to work early, couldn’t drop Jiang Li off at his apartment, so Jiang Li ended up taking the bus instead.

Today wasn’t as cold as yesterday, but the chill still lingered in the air, clinging to his skin. Jiang Li stood quietly at the bus stop, still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, his fingers slightly curled from the cold as he stared down at the pavement. He waited in silence, listening for the familiar sound of the approaching bus, hoping it would drown out the thoughts crowding his mind.

He tried to push them away.

Tried to forget.

But it was hard—especially after Shen Yu’s warmth had faded.

The day Jiang Li had wished, over and over again, would never end... had finally come to an end.

And what it left behind was an emptiness so vast it almost felt suffocating. Yesterday, that same space had been filled with something warm, something soft—something dangerously close to happiness.

Now it was gone.

That small spark... that warmth... had disappeared along with the person who had created it.

It didn’t leave behind nostalgia.

It didn’t even leave something bittersweet.

It left pain.

Because now the thoughts returned, louder than before. His heart questioned him so relentlessly that he almost wanted to sit right there on the pavement and ask himself—

Would Shen Yu ever act the way he did yesterday again?

Or... was it all just guilt?

Was Shen Yu only being kind because he felt like he owed him something?

And if that was the case... did that mean he didn’t owe him anymore?

Did that mean they were back to where they started?

Strangers.

Then what reason did they have to meet again?

Jiang Li’s hand slowly moved to his lower stomach, his fingers resting there unconsciously.

What was he supposed to do with the baby?

What was he going to do...?

He couldn’t tell Shen Yu.

How could he?

Before his thoughts could spiral further, his phone suddenly vibrated loudly in his pocket. The familiar, slightly embarrassing singing ringtone—him and Luo Xin’s chaotic recording—blasted into the quiet morning air.

He still didn’t know why he hadn’t changed it.

With slightly trembling hands, Jiang Li answered the call without even checking the caller ID.

"Li-er... how are you? It’s been so long."

The voice was cautious. Hesitant. As if speaking too loudly might shatter something fragile.

Jiang Li froze.

Only now did he realize it.

Luo Xin and Guo Chen... they had started treating him differently.

Like he was something delicate.

Something that could break.

He, Jiang Li—the one who used to follow people without shame, who did reckless things as long as it made him happy—had never been careful before.

He had grown up believing emotions were weakness.

Because every time you loved... you broke.

And yet—

That same person had fallen in love at first sight.

Now his hands trembled, not because of the past, not because of watching his mother suffer...

But because he was pregnant.

Because of an Alpha.

An Alpha he had once sworn he would never let touch him.

Never let close.

Never let break him—

Just like what happened to Xiao Ye... to his mother.

And yet now—

He was breaking.

He was crying.

And he was loving someone he had once sworn never to even look at.

"Li-er..."

"Li-Li..."

"Jiang Li!"

Guo Chen’s voice snapped him out of it.

Jiang Li blinked, realizing he had completely zoned out.

"Yes...?"

"Are you okay...?"

Jiang Li let out a soft chuckle, lowering his gaze as he wiped away the tear that had slipped down his cheek.

It was funny.

No matter how much he tried to deny it...

He loved Shen Yu.

And that would never change.

Deep down, he didn’t even want it to.

"Let’s go out for ice cream... Chen-er," Jiang Li said quietly.

The line went silent for a moment before Guo Chen let out a soft sigh.

"...Mn."

---

"Why do you like eating ice cream in such cold weather? It’s freezing!"

Guo Chen complained, even as he continued eating his own ice cream.

Luo Xin rolled her eyes from across the table, holding a warm cup of hot chocolate between her hands, the steam rising softly.

The contrast was almost ridiculous—two people freezing themselves with ice cream while she stayed warm.

"You really have the brain of a peanut," Luo Xin said flatly. "If it’s so cold, why are you eating ice cream?"

Guo Chen gasped dramatically, as if deeply offended.

Classic Chen-er.

"I don’t know," he muttered. "It just tastes better in winter."

Luo Xin narrowed her silver eyes.

"And why do you think Jiang Li is eating ice cream right now?"

Her patience was clearly thinning.

"That’s why I was asking, Xinxin—"

Jiang Li suddenly laughed.

A soft, genuine laugh.

Luo Xin’s jaw tightened at Guo Chen’s cluelessness, and Guo Chen immediately scooted his chair back, pretending to zip his mouth shut and throw away the key.

But the moment Jiang Li laughed, he "unlocked" himself again.

"Are you okay, Li-er? You didn’t sound okay earlier."

Jiang Li’s smile slowly faded as he looked down at his bowl. The blue bubblegum ice cream had stained his lips a faint blue.

What he experienced earlier... those were close to panic attacks.

And they had been happening more often lately.

"It’s nothing, Chen-er... I guess I just needed company," he said softly.

But deep inside—

His heart whispered something else.

To silence the voices.

Luo Xin took a slow sip of her drink before speaking.

"Did you tell him?"

Jiang Li froze.

Then he shook his head, a sad smile forming.

"How can I...? Yesterday was so perfect. I couldn’t ruin it. He didn’t treat me like some obsessive omega... or a liar who stole his clothes. He treated me like... Jiang Li."

His voice softened.

"I know you won’t understand, Xin... but I couldn’t tell him."

He poked at his melting ice cream.

Yesterday, finishing two bowls had been easy.

Now he couldn’t even finish one.

What did you do to me... Mr. Shen?

Guo Chen’s voice pulled him back again.

"I understand, Jiang Li. It’s hard. But time will pass... months will pass. You won’t be able to hide it forever. How will you explain it? How will he trust you... if you lie to him for months?"

His tone was gentle, but firm.

Luo Xin nodded. 𝕗𝕣𝐞𝐞𝘄𝐞𝚋𝚗𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹.𝚌𝕠𝚖

"This isn’t something you can hide. You can hide your past, your status... anything else. But this?" She shook her head. "This breaks relationships—even between married couples."

She paused before adding quietly,

"And you and Shen Yu... aren’t even together."

"How do you think he’ll look at you after that?"

They weren’t wrong.

But Jiang Li still couldn’t do it.

He stared at his phone, fiddling with the bunny charm.

"If he doesn’t take responsibility... then he was never meant to be yours," Guo Chen said softly. "And you should let go, Li-er."

Jiang Li nodded.

Tears streamed down his face.

He should let go.

But why did it hurt so much?

Before he could completely break down, he leaned forward—

Only to notice something odd.

A faint white edge sticking out from his black phone case.

Frowning slightly, he slid the case off.

A small folded paper fell out.

< Realised I never gave you my number >

< Maybe I didn’t trust you enough... and I think I still don’t >

< But don’t be a stranger >

< X9X X67 X56X >

Jiang Li’s hands trembled violently.

Tears fell faster—

But then—

He laughed.

A broken, breathless laugh.

Luo Xin and Guo Chen stared at him in alarm.

He... cares.

He cares.

---

"So... you gave him your number..."

Lin Yushen’s voice was soft as he sat casually on the couch in Shen Yu’s office, his long hair tied neatly into a ponytail.

"Mn," Shen Yu hummed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Why?" Lin Yushen tilted his head. "Was it guilt?"

Shen Yu let out a quiet chuckle before turning his head slightly.

"If you asked me that two days ago... I would’ve said yes."

He paused.

"But after spending time with him yesterday..."

His voice softened.

"...why should he be a stranger?"

Lin Yushen smiled, his eyes curving into crescents.

"But don’t you think you went too far?"

Shen Yu exhaled lightly.

"I might have..."

Before he could finish—

"Don’t doubt it," Lin Yushen interrupted. "You did the right thing."

Shen Yu chuckled again.

"You sound way too happy. It’s like we’re discussing your love life."

"Ge!"

Lin Yushen threw a stack of papers at him.

Shen Yu easily dodged them and walked out of the office, a faint smile lingering on his lips.