Chapter 59 - We’re Mates

Jude

I was unwilling.

I was scared and afraid.

So many what-ifs had been eating away at my mind, fingering their way through my brain and clouding every single thought I had until I couldn’t think about anything else.

What if Rosie got hurt? What if the pregnancy complications became too much for her human body to handle? What if I lost Rosie? What if I had to watch her suffer and couldn’t do anything to stop it? What if—

Sometimes I had to take Baby out on a ride just to calm my mind; if I said I wasn’t scared about the pregnancy, I’d be lying through my teeth.

When I first heard the news that Rosie was pregnant, I was extremely happy. Shocked and terrified yet genuinely happy because we were going to have a pup, a love child between us. But the moment I heard about the downside, about the risks to my mate’s health, all I felt was wretchedness spreading through my entire body.

Because my hands were bound. If I were given the choice, if someone put a gun to my head and made me pick, I’d pick my mate over and over again without hesitation. I’d choose Rosie over a child I didn’t even know yet, a child I hadn’t bonded with yet. Anything—I’d give up anything—but I couldn’t lose Rosie. I wouldn’t survive losing her.

But Rosie wanted the child.

Fuck.

So I had to want the child too; I had to protect the child, care about the child, and pray to the moon goddess that both of them would make it through this even though the thought of what this pregnancy could do to Rosie’s body made me want to tear the world apart. I didn’t want to think about the pain she’d go through or the strain the pregnancy would put on her human body.

That was why I took my mother’s offer immediately when she suggested that Rosie come stay at the Winter Mansion so there would be proper supervision and care. I even made the pack doctor move into one of the guest rooms in the mansion so he’d be available at any hour of the day or night in case there was anything wrong.

Now living in the Winter mansion, I was like a ticking time bomb ready to explode at the slightest provocation. No loud noises that could disturb my mate’s rest. No stress that could affect her or the baby. I personally prepared most of the meals she ate, or my mom did, but only after the doctor had approved that the food was safe and nutritious for her condition. Even the pack members who came to visit were walking on eggshells around me because they could sense how on edge I was.

I walked into the kitchen to see my mom already dishing up dinner onto plates, and I grabbed a tray so I could bring Rosie’s portion up to our room. I added some sliced fruit to the tray, also.

"How is she?" my mom asked without looking up from what she was doing.

"She’s awake now," I responded as I carefully arranged everything on the tray. "And she said she’s hungry."

Elena chuckled warmly. "She’s been eating so well lately. Her appetite has really picked up."

I hummed in agreement as I added a glass of water to the tray. My mom continued working for a moment before she spoke again in a softer tone.

"It makes me remember when I was pregnant with you," she said, and I tilted my head to look at her. "Your dad was overprotective just like this, even though my pregnancy was only three months, like a normal wolf pregnancy. I didn’t eat much or sleep much, though, but I was really energetic, so energetic that people were wondering if I was actually pregnant at all."

She chuckled at the memory and then visibly shuddered. "But when I got pregnant with Maya... oh, goddess, that was completely different. I puked constantly, had diarrhea, ate uncontrollably, and slept like a log every single day."

I smiled at the memories even though I was too young to remember what she said. Then I picked up the tray and headed toward our room.

I opened the door quietly and saw Rosie sitting up in bed with her laptop open in front of her. She was pressing keys frantically and staring at the screen with her brows furrowed, and I tilted my head in question.

I set the tray down on the bedside table a few feet away from the laptop before plopping down on the bed beside her, careful not to jostle her.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" I asked.

"I saw that the graduating list is out," she responded, and her voice trembled slightly.

I immediately moved closer and started rubbing her back in slow, soothing circles while releasing calming pheromones through our bond.

I still remembered how she’d nearly gone into a full panic attack two weeks ago when she realized she’d missed her thesis defense while she was in the hospital recovering from the stabbing. She’d been crying so hard she could barely breathe, devastated because she thought she wouldn’t be able to graduate and that she’d have to redo everything.

But I’d kissed her tears away and held her close and reassured her that we would graduate together, that I’d make sure of it.

The university registrar was a pack member, so it had been relatively easy to submit a doctor’s report explaining her hospitalization. They’d accepted it and allowed her thesis advisor to grade her written work in lieu of the defense. And she’d passed.

Now on the bed beside me, she was biting her nails, a nervous habit I’d noticed she always did when she was anxious or scared about something.

I grabbed her hand gently and pulled it away from her mouth before placing a soft kiss on her knuckles to ease her nerves. Then I nudged her side softly to let her know it would be okay, that her name would be on that list because the registrar had already confirmed she’d passed.

Rosie nodded, taking a shaky breath. She closed her eyes, then clicked on the school portal with a deep inhale before she flew her eyes open to look at the screen and saw her name.

CONGRATULATIONS, ROSIE MARTINEZ, SECOND-CLASS UPPER BA (EDUCATION)

She screamed so loud I was sure the entire mansion heard it as she jumped on me excitedly, with pure joy radiating from her body. My hands immediately grabbed her waist, and I carefully maneuvered us so I could support her weight while avoiding putting any pressure on her stomach.

"We did it!" she grinned up at me, and her eyes were twinkling with such immense happiness. 𝓯𝙧𝙚𝒆𝙬𝙚𝒃𝙣𝙤𝒗𝓮𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢

"You did it," I corrected her gently and kissed her forehead. "You worked hard for this, sweetheart. You earned it."

She practically swooned at my words.

"I couldn’t have done this without you, Jude," she murmured, and her voice was thick with emotion. "Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for being the ray of sunshine in my dull and dark life. Thank you for everything."

I smiled and ran my fingers through her soft hair. "There should be no thank yous between us," I muttered softly. "We’re mates. Your victories are my victories."

Then I pulled her face up to mine and kissed her slowly and sensually.

When we finally parted, she was panting hard trying to catch her breath. "You don’t understand," she started, her voice shaky. "I need..." she trailed off as tears welled up in her eyes, but these were happy tears.

"No need to say it," I said gently because I did understand. I understood everything she couldn’t put into words. "I understand, sweetheart."

I leaned forward and kissed her closed eyelids tenderly before following the trail of her joyful tears down her cheek with my tongue. The salt from her tears tingled on my tongue, and I savored it.