"What?" I froze.

"This lunatic’s name you’re calling is Sebastian Grimm," one of them repeated, right as the so-called lunatic casually killed another Rogue.

I stared at him, mouth open, popcorn slipping from my fingers in slow motion just like my life decisions.

"...Make sure to remember my name," Sebastian said, as if he wasn’t multitasking murder and intimidation.

Another Rogue dropped.

I didn’t hear it because my brain had officially disconnected and I am now internally screaming.

I messed up.

I MESSED UP!

Why.

Why did I open my mouth?

Why did I walk over?

Why did I decide to be helpful?

Why do I keep accidentally running into main characters like they’re part of a subscription service I didn’t sign up for?!

This is exactly why kindness is dangerous.

I mentally pointed at the sky.

You see this?! This is what happens when you try to be a decent person!

So to whoever is watching my life like it’s entertainment then take note:

Always be the villain.

Never help.

Live longer.

Be happy.

By the time my internal breakdown ended, all the Rogues were dead.

Now, it was just the two of us standing, facing each other in the silence of my impending doom.

He started walking towards me like a predator who had already decided dinner.

I panicked immediately. "Y-Your team wanted me to give you this!" I blurted, shoving the bucket of popcorn between us like it was a peace offering... or a shield... or my last will and testament.

He didn’t even look at it.

"I don’t care about that," he said as he continued approaching me. "I told you my name. Now you tell me yours."

No.

No, thank you.

"That—uhhh—everything I said?" I continued rapidly, backing up half a step. "Encouragement! Yes! From your teammates! They told me to motivate you!"

"HEY!" one of them shouted immediately. "That was YOUR idea!"

I whipped around.

"And I asked for your permission!" I snapped, pointing at them accusingly.

"You didn’t!"

"I IMPLIED IT!"

"DON’T DRAG US INTO THIS!"

Behind me, his footsteps finally stopped as I could hear him breathing too close.

"And your idea of encouragement," he said in a low voice, "is to mock me?"

I turned back slowly and smiled weakly. "I call it... tough love?"

He did not look loved.

I had exactly one option left.

’Survival.’

So I did what any rational, intelligent, completely innocent person would do.

I lifted the bucket, placed it directly on his head to hinder his vision as popcorn exploded everywhere.

Silence.

I didn’t look back and ran away very, very fast.

"GOODBYEEEE!!!" I yelled over my shoulder, sprinting like my life depended on it.

Behind me—

"...She’s dead," one of his teammates muttered.

"Yeah," another agreed. "100%."

"Should we... help her?"

"No."

"Fair."

I ran deeper into the forest and somewhere behind me, a very dangerous man probably taking popcorn out of his hair.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

"Hah..."

I took a step.

"Hah..."

Another.

"Hah—"

My knees gave out completely.

I dropped to the ground with all the grace of a dying swan and started crawling like a soldier who had seen too much.

Somewhere in the distance I heard voices and metals clashing.

’Please let it be them...’

I dragged myself forward, crawling like my dignity had already left my body ten minutes ago.

And there they were.

My wonderful, beloved, absolutely considerate teammates, Ravian, Stephano, Silvano, and Vivienne locked in battle with what was very clearly not a beginner-friendly Rogue.

’Oh this was perfect.’

A laugh bubbled out of me before I could stop it.

"Hahahaha—!" I wheezed, clutching my stomach as I struggled to breathe.

That’s what you get.

That’s exactly what you get for leaving me behind!

All four of them froze for a split second, turned around, and saw me half-dead, covered in dirt, laughing like I had finally lost my mind.

Silvano frowned slightly. "Why are you laughing?"

"What the—?!" Stephano snapped. "What took you so long?! And why didn’t you chase after us?!"

"We were looking everywhere for you," Ravian added, dodging an attack smoothly. "But you weren’t behind us."

I raised a finger.

’Wait give me a second. Breathing first, murder later.’

"Hah... okay..." I finally managed, pushing myself up slightly. "Well maybe—just maybe—if someone had the brilliant idea to look back before sprinting into the forest like wild animals—"

I pointed weakly at all of them.

"—then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten lost trying to find you!"

"And how is that our fault?" Stephano shot back immediately.

My eye twitched. ’Oh he chose violence today.’

Ravian cut in, "I did look back. I was about to return and look for you, but Vivienne got stuck in a pitfall."

I slowly turned my head towards Vivienne. 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝔀𝓮𝒃𝙣𝓸𝒗𝒆𝒍.𝙘𝒐𝒎

’Why is it that the timing is always perfect?’

I didn’t know if she was doing it intentionally, but wow, the consistency.

"I know we don’t get along well," Vivienne said gently while releasing another arrow, "but please try to cooperate and help us first."

My eye twitched.

’The nerve.

The audacity.

The absolute—’

I inhaled, exhaled, inhaled again.

’Stay calm. I’m pretty sure we’re already in last place anyway.’

"...Help you?" I said slowly, pushing myself up just enough to sit. "Oh, now you remember I exist."

The Rogue roared, slamming its weapon down, forcing them to scatter.

I watched peacefully from the ground.

"...You look like you’re doing great," I added, resting my chin on my hand.

Stephano glared. "Get up and fight!"

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no," I repeated calmly. "I walked. I ran. I suffered. I even emotionally supported another team."

Ravian blinked. "You did what?"

"I’m tired," I continued, ignoring him. "This is my rest period."

Silvano narrowed his eyes slightly. "We don’t have time for this."

"You didn’t have time to look back either," I shot back instantly.

The Rogue lunged again.

They dodged although I’m pretty sure they almost saw light.

Vivienne looked at me, clearly trying to stay composed. "We can argue later—"

"No," I cut in. "We argue now."

Stephano looked like he was about to explode, Ravian looked amused, Silvano looked calculating, and Vivienne looked annoyed.

’Perfect. Now we’re all feeling the same way. ’

I smiled sweetly. "But don’t worry," I added, raising a hand lazily. "I’ll help."

Hope flickered beneath them.

"...After I catch my breath."

"YOU—" Stephano started but the Rogue roared again.

Louder this time.

I leaned back slightly, watching the chaos unfold like a spectator.

"...Also," I added casually, "if any of you die, I’m not taking responsibility."

"NO ONE ASKED YOU TO—"

"Oh, and one more thing," I said, cutting him off again, glancing at all of them mid-chaos.

A sword here, a bow there, something shiny and deadly in every direction like this was a very aggressive fashion show.

I tilted my head. "...How do you all have your weapons?"

There was a very heavy pause.

Stephano stared at me like I had just asked how breathing works. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Can’t you see I’m serious?" I snapped back.

Ravian blinked, then actually looked concerned. "Blanca... you seriously don’t know how?"

"Yes."

Silvano narrowed his eyes. "Every young ones in the world knows how to summon and wield their weapon. How do you not?"

Maybe because this body was basically the universe’s least favorite child!

This body got isolated, ignored, had zero tutorials, no starter pack, or not even a Beginner’s Guide to Not Dying 101.

"Just tell me how," I said flatly.

The Rogue lunged.

They all moved on instinct—dodging, striking, countering—while still somehow having this conversation like this was a casual group discussion and not a life-threatening situation.

Ravian sighed, stepping in front of me for a second as he blocked an incoming attack.

"Fine. Listen carefully," he said quickly. "Every weapon is bound to your core."

"...My what?"

"Your energy core," Silvano cut in, slashing at the Rogue without even looking at it.

’Show-off.’

"It’s inside you. You don’t ’get’ a weapon. You call it."

Stephano scoffed while kicking the Rogue back. "In short—stop being useless and summon it."

"Wow. Very educational," I muttered.

Ravian ignored him. "Focus. Close your eyes for a second."

"In the middle of a fight?!"

"Yes."

"...If I die, I’m haunting you."

"You won’t die."

"Bold of you to assume."

Still I closed my eyes because apparently, this is how I survive.

"Feel your energy," Ravian continued, voice lower but steady. "It’s not physical. It’s instinct. Something that’s always been there."

’Always been there...’

I frowned slightly.

There was something faint but it felt like a locked door no one bothered to open.

"Reach for it," Silvano added.

"Command it," Stephano said.

"Don’t force it," Vivienne chimed in, actually sounding helpful for once.

"Wow," I muttered under my breath. "Everyone suddenly became a teacher."

"Blanca," Ravian said more firmly.

I inhaled.

’Fine. Focus.’

"...Come out," I murmured.

Nothing happened.

"Great," I said, opening one eye. "It’s a fail."

Stephano groaned. "You’re hopeless."

"Excuse—"

"Again," Ravian cut in quickly.

I clicked my tongue.

Annoying but still... I tried again.

I can feel it.

I can definitely feel it.

The energy, the pull, the—

...pressure?

Oh no.

No, wait.

Not that kind of—

"Buuuurp."

Silence.

Stephano clicked his tongue. "Useless."

"Nice... try," Vivienne said, smiling sweetly. The kind of sweet that came with invisible knives.

Silvano gave a slow nod. "At least... you released something."

In front of me, Ravian straight up laughed.

My cheeks burned. "Don’t laugh!"

"I’m trying not to," he said, which was a lie because he was very clearly failing.

"You know what?" I snapped, crossing my arms. "Maybe that was my weapon."

Stephano deadpanned. "What? Gas warfare?"

"...Yes," I said immediately

Ravian exhaled, still smiling as he stepped closer. "Alright, weapon of mass destruction, stay here."

"Don’t call me that."

"I’m calling you that."

He gently guided me back against a tree like I was a malfunctioning device that needed to be set aside for repairs.

"The three of them are struggling with the Rogue," he continued. "I’ll help them first. You—"

He poked my forehead lightly.

"—figure your weapon out."

I slapped his hand away. "Don’t poke me like I’m a broken artifact."

"Then stop acting like one," he said easily before turning away.

Rude.

Unbelievable.

Disrespectful.

I watched as he rejoined the others like nothing had happened.

I clicked my tongue in annoyance. ’I didn’t realize this novel also included an action genre.’