Chapter 188: Chapter 188: Kneeling for Love and Apologies

A wave of heat rushed through his body. Panicking, he instantly locked his phone, pulled out his earpods, and reached out from under the duvet to put the device face-down onto the nightstand.

He desperately wanted to crawl across the mattress and bury himself in Matteo’s arms, but the doctor’s strict warning from earlier echoed loudly in his head. He knew getting close to Matteo right now, while he was this horny, was a dangerous idea because they could not have sex.

Clenching his jaw, Adrian deliberately maintained a wide gap between them in the middle of the bed, tightly closing his eyes and forcing his breathing to slow down until he finally, exhaustedly, fell asleep.

Hours passed, but sleep eluded Matteo. The soft, steady rhythm of Adrian’s breathing eventually confirmed that he was fast asleep.

Slowly, carefully, Matteo sat up in the dim light. His eyes drifted to the nightstand. Driven by a deep, protective instinct to understand what was troubling his partner, Matteo quietly picked up Adrian’s phone and unlocked it.

Matteo began scrolling through the open tabs and search history.

The more he read, the heavier his heart became.

A painful ache settled deep in his chest.

Page after page was filled with search queries:

How to satisfy a man as a former straight man.

What do men find attractive in bed?

How to avoid being boring during intimacy.

How to be enough for the person you love.

Matteo stared at the screen, his heart breaking with every word.

Matteo read every single word, following the trail of hours Adrian had spent researching. He saw the educational forums Adrian had visited and eventually reached the porn videos he had watched right before falling asleep.

The realization hit him like a physical blow.

Adrian wasn’t acting distant because he was pulling away from him.

He had been desperately and quietly trying to learn how to be perfect for him, all while carrying a deep insecurity that he had kept entirely to himself.

Slowly, Matteo set the phone back down on the nightstand, his chest tight with an overwhelming surge of love and raw emotion.

He turned back to the bed and carefully lifted the edge of the heavy duvet. In the faint moonlight, he saw Adrian curled up, his hand resting over his hardened cock beneath his underwear. 𝚏𝗿𝗲𝐞𝐰𝚎𝕓𝐧𝚘𝘃𝗲𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝕞

Matteo didn’t dare wake him.

Instead, he quietly slid across the space Adrian had left between them, erasing the distance completely. Leaning down, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the top of Adrian’s head before wrapping his arms securely around his waist.

He pulled Adrian back against his chest, holding him close in a tight, protective embrace. Only when he was certain Adrian was safely tucked against him did Matteo finally close his eyes and allow sleep to claim him.

The next morning, Matteo woke up first.

The early sunlight filtered through the sheer curtains, brightening Adrian’s peaceful face. Matteo didn’t move; he simply lay there, staring at his partner with a deeply affectionate gaze, his heart still aching from what he had discovered on Adrian’s phone the night before. He remained perfectly still until Adrian’s eyelashes fluttered open.

The moment Adrian woke up, Matteo leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Good morning, love."

Adrian blinked sleepily, his expression pulling back into a guarded mask. "Morning," he murmured, completely leaving out his usual sweet pet names. Without another word, he slid out of Matteo’s embrace, stood up, and walked straight into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Matteo sat up, deeply troubled by the cold, detached response. But keeping what he knew to himself, he pushed the duvet aside and sat at the edge of the bed, waiting patiently.

When Adrian finally stepped out of the bathroom, his eyes were fixed on the floor, clearly intending to walk right past Matteo and ignore him.

"Come here, baby," Matteo called out softly, his voice an irresistible command.

Adrian’s steps slowed. He walked over to the grand bed, his movements hesitant until he stood right between Matteo’s parted legs.

Matteo reached out, his hands slowly bunching up the hem of Adrian’s silk nightwear shirt. He lifted it slightly, leaning forward to press a tender, lingering kiss to Adrian’s navel.

Usually, this gesture would make Adrian giggle and wrap his arms tightly around Matteo’s neck, but this time, Adrian’s arms hung loosely at his sides. He remained completely stiff.

Matteo looked up, his eyes searching Adrian’s face. "Babe... tell me what I’ve done wrong."

Adrian kept his gaze firmly averted, staring at the wall. "You did nothing."

Matteo could see the way Adrian was deliberately avoiding his gaze and the painful distance between them.

Not wanting to reveal that he had gone through Adrian’s phone, Matteo assumed the problem was entirely his fault. In his mind, Adrian was still upset about how firmly he had refused him the evening before.

"I’m so sorry, Rian," Matteo apologized, his voice thick with regret. "I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did yesterday, and I definitely shouldn’t have left you in this room alone afterward. I should have been more patient with you. I shouldn’t have let my frustration over the doctor’s restrictions make me react like that. I am so incredibly sorry, baby."

Adrian finally looked down at him, his eyes swimming with sudden, profound sadness.

"No, Matteo... you’ve really tried. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’m putting you through right now. I’m sorry you fell in love with someone like me, someone who needs medical attention and comes with a list of doctor restrictions."

"Babe, don’t you dare talk like that," Matteo said, his heart breaking at the insecurity in Adrian’s voice.

His grip on Adrian’s hips tightened.

"I’m really, truly sorry. I only reacted that way yesterday because I miss you so damn much. I miss being close to you. I miss us."

His voice softened.

"I’m sorry, okay?"

Adrian swallowed hard, a tear slipping past his lashes.

"It’s fine," he whispered, quickly brushing it away.

He cleared his throat and tried to pull away.

"Can you please let me go to my studio today to check on my workers?"

As Adrian turned in Matteo’s embrace and began to pull away, taking a few steps toward the sofa, Matteo felt a surge of pure desperation.

Seeing his partner this unhappy and not knowing how to tear down the invisible wall that had suddenly formed between them, Matteo did something he had never done for anyone else.

He slid off the edge of the bed and dropped down onto his knees right behind Adrian.

"I’m sorry, Rian," Matteo pleaded from the floor, his voice raw. "Please forgive me."

Adrian froze.

The moment he turned around, his jaw dropped in absolute shock at the sight of the ruthless mafia boss kneeling before him.

Panic flashed across his face as he rushed forward, reaching down to pull Matteo back to his feet.

"No!" he blurted out. "Baby, please, stand up. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I... I just need to work on myself."

"Work on yourself for what exactly?" Matteo demanded. He refused to stand, instead reaching out to wrap his arms tightly around Adrian’s waist, burying his face against Adrian’s stomach before looking up at him from his knees.

"What is wrong, Adrian? Whatever I did, I am so fucking sorry. Please, baby. Talk to me. I will apologize...