Aselia’s POV

Xiran inaudibly gasped and I could see the shock of my words hit him with full force. He peered at me from under his hooded lashes as if pleading to be not so heartless. Although his lips didn’t stir, his eyes on the other hand held a thousand emotions aimed at me. His relentless gaze not leaving mine, his words had left him and so did mine.

My heart screamed at me, and my ribs constricted around it, plunging it into a painful torture. This was the worst torture someone could inflict on him. His hair defined him, he loved his hair, I loved his hair. This would break him, this would break me too. Seemed like I wasn’t torturing him, I was torturing myself too.

Markius showed no emotions as he clasped his beautiful flowing hair in his ruthless hands and yanked with full force, making his neck jerk. He didn’t even wince, he wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. The man whose hair I had held lovingly in my hands showed no reaction whatsoever, remaining emotionless to what was being done to him, he just gawked at me with those mysterious sharp eyes that surely held contempt for me. Riding me of guilt and shame of what I was about to do to him.

Good, I needed him to hate me. I tried to keep a steady face but my body was shaking and my heart refused to slow down, it pounded so loudly that I was sure it would burst, spilling all my raw emotions for him to witness.

Markius grabbed a pair of scissors from the table and looked at me for final approval as he placed them in his fisted hair. I nodded and bile riled up in the pits of my stomach making me sick, writhing in pain. My eyes ached from the effort of holding back tears, which were about to pool and drench me in guilt.

The scissor fell like a thunderstrike both on his hair and my heart, ravaging it apart never to be healed again for what I had done. Those silken strands fell like feathers blanketing the cold floor all around him. He slowly closed his eyes, trying to calm his wounded heart. There was no forgiveness for me now, there was no coming back from this.

Bile had reached my throat and the pain in my belly had become unbearable, I screamed in agony as I clutched my abdomen and bent over. 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝙚𝔀𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝒐𝒎

"White Falcon?" Markius inquired, looking perplexed. Yurian rushed in through the door, his face white as a sheet. He hoisted me up, as an excruciating pain rippled through my whole being, jolting me. I screamed again, never having felt such pain before for it was more emotional than physical.

"Take her to the medical room, could be some food bug," Markius shouted looking astonished, having no clue what ailed me.

"On it, secure and leave him until she gives further orders," Yurian instructed him as he hoisted me up in his arms. My gaze went to Xiran before Yurian took me out and all could see was a concern, not anger, not revolt, not disgust, not hate. Just concern for me.

I wanted to scream at him, hurl something at him, he was supposed to hate me after this. How could he not? He had to be disgusted by what I had done to him. How could he not?

Yurian carried me out as I said weakly: "My room,"

and he nodded before taking me there.

"Are you ok?" He was keenly watching me, his forehead was creased with confusion and concern. I had no strength to speak, I just shook my head at him and placed my head on his chest. Today broke me, I broke myself. The fake facade fell in front of him and all my truths became bear for him to see.

Reaching my room he lowered me to the ground and I rushed to the bathroom. Spilling out the contents of my breakfast mixed with blood. My intestines seemed to be screaming in agony as I retched again and again until there was nothing left except air.

The pain made me sag to the ground and I weakly called out to Yurian. He rushed inside and halted beside me, hoisting me up by taking my arm and wrapping it around his neck so he could guide me out. I could feel his hands trembling, he was stunned at my condition.

Once outside he helped me to lie down on the bed and I closed my eyes trying to fight the emotions that were ripping me apart. Tears I had been holding spilled freely now.

I could feel Yurian’s hand reassuringly placed on my arm. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes to meet his and he was staring at me, seeming extremely perturbed.

"Talk to me, please. What’s wrong with you? This is not normal, you are not normal anymore." I tried to get up at his words and he helped me up and sat behind me so I could lean on him. This was his way to calm me down.

My lips quivered as the words that I never thought I would ever say, left me: "Yuri, I can’t hurt him. It pains my heart. I don’t know what he has done to me but it tortures my existence, my body and my soul whenever I hurt him." I couldn’t speak anymore as emotions constricted my throat and raw painful sobs left me.

"Shhhh, it’s ok. I know, I know. I got you." He wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed against his hold, whimpers jolting my whole body. I was never a crying type, I always bottled up my emotions but recently they had been becoming too much to handle and I needed someone to confide in. My raging despair calmed down after a while.

Yurian seeing me relaxed asked me in a slight tone: "Why do you occasionally feel sick?"

I gulped hard not understanding what to tell him but I trusted him with my life and cherished him as a brother I never had. He was the only one I could talk to about this. I hesitated a bit but clearing my thought I confided in him everything Dr. Wanstine had told me.

Yurian was bewildered and said: "I had slightly heard about it but never knew it would get to such extremes with someone. This is pure torture. Are you sure it’s not also because he is entirely a different species? One of a kind. He is not a pure vampire you see, he has his mother’s traits as well. I am guessing it’s because of that too and since we have no clear data on this, we can only assume."

I knew he was right and I hadn’t thought from that angle. Yurian always brought a fresh perspective to the situation.

"You may be right, but right now I don’t even know what to do about him. Will he ever forgive me?" I felt like I was standing at crossroads not understanding where to turn and where to go.

"Do as your heart says, Partner. Give him a chance and you have a better prospect of finding answers from him with love than with hate. Set him free."

I jerked my body to face him, I had never expected that Yurian would give me such advice especially when it was a vampire in question. But then again Xiran wasn’t a ruthless vampire and he had made it abundantly clear that he won’t hurt me.

"Are you sure that we must let him go?" I inquired with questioning eyes.

"Yes."

"What if he massacres all of us before leaving or returns to do that?" I asked a bit apprehensively.

"He won’t if you will talk to him. I have seen the love in his eyes, he holds it solely for you. He will forgive you." I lowered my head at his words.

"I don’t deserve his forgiveness, not after today." My words held my truth. I was ashamed of myself, not sure how I would ever be able to look him in the eye.

"He will, he will understand your obligations and the tough spot you are in. But first, we need to formulate a plan for his escape. We can’t keep torturing him. It will only fuel hatred between him and our organization, we need to get in his good books."

"Then help me, Yuri. Help me get him out of here. I can’t see him in this state anymore. My heart won’t be able to bear any torture being inflicted on him." My words held my desperation and Yurian could sense it. My heart was tearing apart and I could no longer cage it, I had caused enough pain to both hearts, his and mine. Not anymore.

"Firstly, tell me something honestly and be sincere with me and to yourself. End this cycle of torture you have inflicted upon yourself." He asked in a very grave tone, his eyes depicting his seriousness as I turned back to look at him.

"Alright, ask."

"Are you in love with him? Or it’s just because of the bond that you feel drawn to him and experiences this torture?"