~Love~

What a strange word it was for Aselia. For never in her wildest dreams did she imagine falling in love and that too with a vampire. Yurian’s question had wheels of her mind reeling, circling, searching for the answer to this seemingly simple but most burdensome question.

Thinking back all she could remember was the love and affection he had showered on her when he didn’t have to. Just because he took her under his protection and felt responsible for her. She remembered the first time she met him, his touch tingled her and she didn’t understand why that happened. That was the bond.

But the small things Xiran did for Aselia tugged her to him. She didn’t know what that feeling was, which had risen from nowhere and shrouded her entire being in his love and affection. She wasn’t sure what else it could be if not love.

All she could recall was the way his mesmerizing orbs gazed at her, ready to own her at merely one nod. The way her heart ached at the pain she had inflicted on him. Could it happen if it was someone else in Xiran’s place? Would her heart threaten to burst open at some random vampire’s afflictions? Will she have been as plagued by emotions as she was now?

The answer was ’no’, Aselia would have tortured anyone else without flinching. What was this if not love? She was just not ready to accept the reality of it.

Aselia stared dumbfoundedly at Yurian, tethering on her emotions, stifling in her anguished cries for she had suffered enough and wanted a release. A release from these vines of vengeance which had crippled her and restrained her from ever finding love. But she was tired now and this endless cycle of hatred she had entangled herself into, needed to end.

"Yes, I love him. If there was no bond, I would still love him with the entirety of my being." Her truth left her perturbed and she let out an audible gasp. This she should have said to Xiran, but was he still willing to love her? The thought shook her and she began quivering. Yurian understood what she was going through for he himself was baffled at her truth.

"Then believe in your love. Fight for it and tell him about it, and he will forgive you. I am sure of it." Yurian held her close, hoping her nerves might calm down.

"What if he doesn’t forgive me? How can he love a ruthless murderer like me? I don’t even blink while taking the life of a vampire. He doesn’t know anything about me, Yuri. All I told him were lies, he doesn’t even know my name. What if he hates the real me?" She whimpered, her eyes continuing streams of fresh tears.

"The real you is your heart and I am sure he has seen it and felt it. And you don’t kill innocent people, we only kill rogue vampires, vampires who have taken innocent lives. We do it so people can be safe in their homes, we do it so no one has to go through what we went through. And he understands, he manages a whole city and keeps it peaceful. Do you think that can be done without having blood on your hands? Both of you do what needs to be done. Talk to him first and then we will get him out of here."

Yurian’s words comforted her, she knew it was time she had a real conversation with him, where she would tell him all the truths he deserved to know. She had taken enough from him, it was time to return his affections. It was time to return his love.

"He hates lying. He sometimes conceals the truth but he never lies. While all I ever did was lie to him. I am going to bare open my truths to him and see if he still wants me." Aselia declared with a slight sigh, her heart restless with his thoughts.

So they sat and formulated a plan to get him out of there, even if he didn’t want her after today. She wanted him to be free, she wanted him away from this place.

"Partner, get some rest now. Let’s finish our mission tomorrow and after that, we will help him escape. But you need to take care of yourself, I can’t see you in this state." Yurian got up after helping Aselia lie down.

"Thanks, Yuri, I don’t know what I would have done without you." Aselia understood the deep worries Yurian harboured for her, going beyond his way to help her. Never saying no to any of her demands.

"Thank me when he will be back safely in his city and remember our actions will have repercussions and we will face them together. I won’t let you take all the blame like you usually do." His eyes were scrutinizing Aselia at that moment, indicating he didn’t acknowledge these actions of her.

"You are my little brother, at least let me do this for you. Let me keep you safe."

"Cluck! Cluck!" Yurian throttled and swished his index finger left and right, showing his refusal to abide by her statement.

"We are partners, we do everything together. There is no me in this, there is only us. You want my help, we split the blame." He shrugged at Aselia making her sigh.

"Alright, alright." She finally gave in making him smile.

"Sleep now, I will return at night to check up on you and discuss our mission for tomorrow." His face showed a bright smile, he knew she needed that right now.

Yurian left the room closing the door behind her with a soft click. The heaviness in Aselia’s heart returned as soon as she found herself alone. She clutched the blanket tightly and pushed it above her face. Her legs folded up to her chest, taking the appearance of a curved ball as she hugged them close, seeking solace that she knew would never come.

Her head was pressed between her knees, and the scene she had witnessed today kept replaying in her mind, like a torture movie on repeat, it had no pause button, it had no end, and it continued for an eternity. Ripping apart her soul, all her fancy words didn’t help her today, the notion of being a cold-hearted hunter was nullified for this one moment had turned her life upside down.

It was baffling how much it was bothering Aselia, how many agonizing screams she was trying to muffle. The sorrow she had glimpsed in his granite orbs was unsettling her whole resolve. She knew he was innocent and yet she had unveiled endless streams of torments on him.

Had she fallen to the level of his father? No, she had descended to somewhere worst than him. Unlike her, he didn’t claim to be a good guy, his actions were pure evil and he prided on that.

She on the other hand bordered her actions on revenge for her parents. Forgetting, elves were a peaceful species and her parents would never want her to torture someone innocent.

Especially a soul who loved her with all his might. Who took care of her when she was injured, never leaving her side for a second. He stayed in that med room, night and day, he didn’t eat, he didn’t sleep, and he did nothing else except be there for her. And this is how she had repaid him.

A fresh stream of tears trickled down her cheeks, they manifested out of her guilt and remorse, and they carried the heavy burdens of her tormented heart and her crippled soul.

How was she ever going to face him again? How was she going to ask for his forgiveness? Even if he would forgive her, she would never forgive herself. The sin she had committed was unforgivable, at least in her heart for it didn’t belong to her anymore. It belonged to Xiran.

To prove to people she was tough, she had wounded him. But not anymore, she had vowed to never hate him before. She didn’t keep her vow, breaking her vow had brought forth such misery for her. It was time Aselia made herself another promise. A promise to love him back as much as he did, no, even more than he did. She wouldn’t hide away her feelings from him, not anymore.

She would give him all of her love, the love he never experienced from her, the love she shrouded from him in the depths of her heart. It would be his now. If he would have her back. Only if Xiran will have his Aselia back.

But before all this, there was something she needed to do. She flung the blanket from her wounded self and wiped away the salty tears from her cheeks. She headed to the bathroom with ruthless determination. She would hurt herself as much as she had hurt him.