Help! Five Beast Alphas Want To Breed Me!!(BL)

Song For This Chapter: Blue & Grey by BTS and Blue Skies by Willie Nelson (Recommended to me by my precious E)

Alpha Liandria;

I stare at the birds flying freely in the distance, and the subtle sight stirs something deep inside me. Everything here feels different.

Even the air is threaded with peace and freedom. Unlike in my kingdom. I’ve sunk my claws into everything that even the animals seem afraid to roam.

I’m pretty sure if I died today, my people would celebrate. Who would blame them, though?

I have been a horrible ruler. Whatever way karma returns to me, I deserve it. And they have wonderful leaders in Igma and Rhydian. I won’t be missed.

But before I go, I must do this one good deed for all of them.

"A penny for them?" Queen Cassia’s voice breaks my thoughts, and I turn to her. She’s sitting across from me, draped in a beautiful, silver dress, and for a moment, I’m lost.

"Huh?" I question, and she smiles.

"Your thoughts. A penny or... a cup of tea, for them?" She questions, and I can’t help the little chuckle that escapes me.

She reaches forward and pours some tea into my cup. I incline my head as she pulls back.

"I was just thinking about how wonderful a job you’ve done. You’ve restored order so quickly... Despite everything." I say, lifting my cup, and Cassia’s mouth curves. It’s not exactly a smile, but it’s an acknowledgement.

"Order is not the same as peace. But it keeps people breathing long enough to find it. I failed them once, and I must make sure there is never a repeat of it." She replies, and I take a silent sip from my cup.

My eyes linger on her. On the gentle, maternal grace she exudes. Her golden eyes are pure and like something out of a book. Like windows to the kindest soul.

Her ears twitch ever so lightly on her head, and her hair has been held loosely behind her.

Without even trying, she looks like a dream. No wonder she’s at the centre of Wilhelm’s heart.

She looks up at me, and I quickly look away.

"And Howleroot?" she breaks the silence, and I struggle to look back at her.

"Does it fare as well as rumour claims?" She adds, and I shrug, as I set down my cup.

"It stands... despite me. That is enough for now." I reply, and she stares at me for a second before looking away.

I’ve been here for days, and for days, I have been unable to do what I ought to do. One of the first things I ought to do.

Cassia has been kind and welcoming to me. There is no better time than now to do this.

"Cassia..." I call softly, and she looks up at me.

I stare at her, unable to find my words. Shame, regret, and embarrassment have me by the throat, but I know I need to speak.

I drop my gaze to the table and let the words roll off my tongue.

"I’m sorry," I whisper, but there is no response.

"I... I have been a horrible person. I... have done evil beyond what everyone knows. I... I hurt people, broke people. Life gave me a bit of inconvenience, and I took it as an excuse to be an utterly repulsive being." I continue, and the silence that settles in my heart is shame— Shame strong enough to expel one’s soul.

"I... I tried to compete with you over a man you permitted to marry me. I... let bitterness rule me, and I just kept drowning further and further in darkness. Spouse, mother, ruler... I failed at being all of those things. I... I kept working against everything Wilhelm worked to build. I made myself the biggest stain on BeastHeaven’s dream,m and I’m... I’m sorry."

Tears cloud my eyes now, and I can not control or stop them.

I force myself to look up at Cassia, and the edges of her lips have turned downwards.

"I know I can never be forgiven or redeemed, but I want to try. In the little way I can. After I’m done, I’ll leave. I swear I will. I’ll go far away. I just... I just need to try to do a little to fix all the messes I made... At least some of them." I confess further, and she tilts her head as she looks at me.

"Where would you go, Liandria? What other home do you know?" She questions softly, andIi smile as I wipe my eyes with my napkin.

"I don’t know." I laugh wryly, and she blinks at me.

"Maybe away from all the people I broke and hurt. I bet they’re eager to see me go... even my own son." I whisper as I stare down at my hands, and Cassia sighs.

"Liandria, repentance can not be found in running away. True remorse is staying. Staying to face the people you hurt. Facing the depth of the damage you caused. It may not seem like a lot, but it’s the first true attempt." She says softly, and I look up at her.

She reaches across the table and places her hand over mine.

"You can’t fix everything. But you can show that you tried..." She whispers as she gently rubs the back of my hand, and I smile weakly.

"...I’m afraid I don’t have that strength, Cassia," I reply, and I see the disappointment in her.

I reach out with my other hand and hold hers over mine.

"Promise me that Rhydian wouldn’t lose the mother he has found in you. I’m sorry I didn’t raise my child, and now, I’m dumping the responsibilities of him on you, but you’re... you’re what’s best for him. You’ll look after my little chaos, won’t you? He may bite, but he’s just a pup." I whisper, and I see fear flash in her eyes. 𝒇𝒓𝙚𝒆𝔀𝓮𝓫𝒏𝓸𝙫𝓮𝓵.𝓬𝙤𝙢

"Liandria, you’re not planning on–" She begins, but she’s cut off when the door opens.

Maids enter in a small group, carrying plates of bread and fruit, and we both pull back from each other as we blink at them.

The girls’ movements are practised, and poised... until one of them freezes.

It is brief. A single misstep, but I’m not a wolf for nothing.

Noticing such subtle pauses and twitches is part of the things that keep us alive.

I look at the girl who twitched like that, and I raise a brow when I see that it’s Alana.

She is halfway into the room when her eyes lift... and land on me.

Her body reacts before her mind can catch up.

A half-step backwards... a tightening through her shoulders, and her fingers curling against the tray she’s carrying, until her knuckles turn white.

This is fear.

Not respect, not surprise... Just fear.

The maids approach the table, but Alana keeps herself at the edge, careful not to come too close.

Now, I may have brushed this off as fear of my past with Omegas... but I know Alana’s mannerisms. During her stay with Elian at Howleroot, I read enough about her to know that she respected me, and had a habit of keeping to her place... but that girl did not fear me.

So why the sudden change?

When she finally moves close and sets the tray in her hands down, she does it quickly.

"Alana," Cassia calls gently, and Alana turns to her.

"Hope you’ve settled back in nicely?" Cassia adds, and the girl forces a smile.

"Yes, Your Majesty," She replies with a deep bow, but I can not take my eyes off her.

"Good afternoon," I greet warmly, and I notice her draw a sharp breath.

"You’ve been assisting well, from what I hear," I add, and her eyes flick to me again before dropping.

"I do my best, Alpha Liandria." She replies, and this time, I stand.

The simple motion makes her flinch again, and this solidifies my suspicion.

I cross the space slowly and stop at a respectful distance from her.

Close enough to observe. Not close enough to threaten.

"You seem unsettled," I note lightly, and her eyes widen.

"Is something troubling you?" I probe, and she foolishly takes another step back.

"No," she answers immediately. Too fast to be true.

"No," she corrects herself, using a softer tone this time, and I smirk.

"I am simply... still adjusting." She replies, and I raise a brow.

"To Gravemaw?" I ask, and she swallows.

"Yes,"

How is it possible for anyone to have trouble adjusting to this place?? Especially as it’s a place she and Elian stayed before his departure to Nagari.

"That is understandable," I say anyway to lower her guard.

"Change unsettles many," I add, and she looks at me.

I let my gaze rest on her a second longer than necessary, and her breath stutters.

Deep in my heart, bone and soul, I can feel it.

This bastard standing before me isn’t the diligent aide that’s always been beside Elian.

This is Bram. I can not prove it, but this is that bastard!

I just know it!!

Cassia’s voice cuts in before I can say anything else, and I know that’s my cue to stop for now.

"That will be all, Alana."

Relief flashes across the girl’s face before she bows again and retreats with the others.

She does not look back, and I sigh before returning to my seat.

Cassia pours more tea into my cup, and for a moment, neither of us speaks.

Then she says quietly, "She wasn’t always like that."

"No," I agree, and Cassia lets out a breath with her fingers still against her cup.

"You noticed." She says, and I nod.

"I did," I reply, and Cassi adjusts in her seat.

"She avoids proximity... Not just with you. Something is wrong. It scares me." She whispers, and I nod as I stare at the door.

Of course, something is wrong. Bram is back, and no one else seems to know. How would they though? They don’t know Bram like I do...

What step do I take now??