My Alleged Husband
Chapter 2033 - 1826: Work
Life is so beautiful. If one knows their life is to be enjoyed, then all of this is even more beautiful.
Xia Jing looks at her husband like this, and she really doesn’t know what to do.
If she forgives him so easily, then what does that make her? Does she really seem, in his eyes, like someone who can forgive others so casually? If that’s truly the case, then this relationship might not be worth having.
Zhang Zhentian really doesn’t know what his wife is thinking inside; he knows he’s been reminding his wife time and again, but in the end, all he gets is a cold reception.
No matter how he treats his wife, it seems inherent in his view. But now, he finds it worthwhile if he can gain even a little bit of goodwill from her.
"Zhentian, can’t you act a bit more like a man? Do you know that your behavior makes me really despise you.
The very least you could have is some manly dignity, yet you expect me to commit my life to you ? You never consider, these past nights, you persist in your own way.
If you love me, then please show the dignity a man should have. Why should I wholeheartedly love someone who only knows how to bow under pressure?
Think carefully about this. Since I promised to go travel the world with you, I will definitely do it. But the premise is that you won’t continuously compromise yourself like this, or else there is no point in us being together!
We’ve been together for decades, and I believe you have that courage. If you can’t even muster that little bit of courage, then please stop bothering me. Since I promised to travel with you, I will definitely do it, but I also hope you’ll promise me not to linger around like a coward in front of me, or I will despise you. I can’t respect any man who only shows cowardice and compromise before his wife!"
Zhang Zhentian doesn’t know how to respond to his wife’s words because he is entirely numb now. He’s been living in his wife’s shadow all along, believing that pleasing his wife is more important than anything else, so he never cared what he truly wanted.
To him, he only wants his wife to stay by his side. He really is someone deeply in love, willing to do anything for his wife.
Yet in the end, it may not earn his wife’s true affection. Whatever he wishes might never come to be, and to him, this could be a cruel reality, perhaps a greater blow that he cannot bear. Maybe one day he’ll truly realize, no amount of true feelings can win over someone who doesn’t love him.
"Xia Jing, you also know I’ve become more and more numb. Before you, I am always like a child, believing this way you’ll love me, that you’ll be willing to stay by my side and care for me all my life. Yet gradually, I realize my assumptions are wrong, no matter how much I desire for you to stay by my side, you may never truly stay. I’ve given everything for you, but in your eyes, it’s all insignificant.
Sometimes I really want to ask myself, how bad am I, that the woman I yearn for refuses to stay by my side, even in death? How much of a failure must I be in life?"
Upon hearing Zhang Zhentian’s self-deprecating words, Xia Jing feels distressed inside, but he doesn’t know how to console him. He knows all of this is the consequence of his own choices, and if he hadn’t spoken of the truth back then, would this outcome have been avoided? Yet he already made his choice, so what can he do now? He can only quietly accept whatever consequences his decisions bring.
Perhaps because of this, he may lose his wife forever in this lifetime, and he has reached this step with no way out.
He’s cut off his only path of retreat, and for the rest of his life, he can only endure this suffering.
"Don’t say that. To me, you’re not lacking. It’s just you’re too indulgent in some things, which makes me feel whatever you do for me is justified, and I’ve never considered your feelings, nor your ability to handle things.
But I truly don’t understand why, even at this stage, you don’t hate me. Even if you hate me just a little, it would be a form of happiness and solace for me, wouldn’t it?
I really hope you could hate me, because if you did, I wouldn’t feel so guilty, and I wouldn’t feel the need to explain everything to you so thoroughly."
"If I don’t hate you, do you feel guilty and uneasy, and would you choose to stay by my side a bit longer to see if we’re truly compatible? Is that what you mean?"
Xia Jing honestly feels speechless; he didn’t think his husband would have such notions. Does he truly seem so unreasonable? Why can’t he achieve his desired life, why are his decisions always wrong?
I don’t understand why you would think this way; do you think behaving this way will make me stay by your side? We’ve lost that connection between us, and do you think there’s still a point for us to continue together?"
"To me, it doesn’t matter if there’s a point or not. As long as you stay by my side, I’ll pay any price necessary, and having you remain by my side is the biggest reward in life. I don’t ask for anything else, just to have you accompany me more, until I die, and then accompany me traversing the afterlife; that, to me, is the greatest happiness in the world..."
"You really are stubborn. I’ve made myself clear, yet you don’t understand what I truly mean? What I want isn’t just your promise to try being with me; even then, there’s no guarantee of any outcome. You don’t get it? It makes me extremely tired. I don’t know what to do or how to convey things to you in a way you’d understand!"
"I..."
"Enough, I don’t want to repeat myself over and over again before you. You need to consider carefully your attitude moving forward with me, so we might actually end with a good result..."
A beautiful result is joyous, and unforgettable throughout one’s life.