Violet

After a bit of digging and asking around, added with searching for Nessa’s presence, brought me to her family house.

It was a small manor nestled in one of the quieter districts of the capital, set back from the main road. The building itself was elegant with pale stone walls covered in climbing ivy, tall windows and two more upper floors.

A courtyard stretched before the entrance, paved with smooth stones and dotted with potted plants and small flowering shrubs. A fountain stood at its centre, smaller than the one in the castle but just as lovely, water trickling softly into a stone basin.

I hesitated. It felt strange, showing up at Nessa’s home unannounced.

Before I could talk myself out of it, a servant in the courtyard approached me. An older woman with greying hair and a startled expression.

"My Lady," she said, her eyes widening as she took me in. "Can I help you?"

"I’m looking for Nessa," I said. "Nessa Mills. Is she home?"

The servant’s surprise deepened, but she quickly composed herself and stepped aside.

"Please, come in. I will send someone to fetch her immediately."

She led me through the courtyard and into the quaint building. The interior was beautiful with polished walls and floors and tasteful furnishings.

The servant guided me to a guest room off the main hall, a cozy space with cushioned seating and large windows overlooking a small garden.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," she said. "I will have tea and refreshments brought to you."

She left immediately and I stood there awkwardly for a moment before taking a seat.

A few minutes later, another servant appeared carrying a tray. He set it on the low table before me. A small kettle, a matching cup, and a plate of small pastries dusted with powdered sugar.

"Please, help yourself," he said with a small bow, then retreated.

I poured myself a cup and was about to drink when I sensed Nessa coming closer.

The door swung open and Nessa appeared, slightly breathless, her golden hair loose around her shoulders instead of pinned up as usual. She was dressed more casually than I had ever seen her. A simple dress of pale blue, and her feet bare against the wooden floor.

She stopped in the doorway, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Violet?"

"Hello," I said, suddenly feeling foolish.

"You—" She blinked, as if trying to confirm I was real. Then she shook her head, her slow smile spreading across her face. "I am glad you came to see me?"

"I did..."

She seemed genuinely delighted as she closed the door behind her. "This is a pleasant surprise."

She crossed to the seating area and dropped onto the chair across from me, tucking her bare feet beneath her.

"I apologise," she said. "The rest of my family isn’t home at the moment. It’s just me and the servants. If I had known you were coming, I would have—"

"It’s fine," I interrupted. "I should have sent word ahead. I just..."

I trailed off, not sure how to explain.

Nessa studied me for a moment, her head tilting slightly. Then her lips curved into a bashful grin.

"So," she said, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "I hope my little... educational excursion was helpful?"

My face immediately heated. "Nessa."

"I didn’t see you again after that time, so I thought I might have overstepped." A sad smile crossed her lips. "If I did, I apologise, Violet."

I sat up, feeling guilty.

I had been too preoccupied with the Lycan records, and the little time I had, I had spent it with Rowan.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, I have been... preoccupied," I told her.

"I am glad. Especially as that place—"

"Please." I held up a hand, cutting her off. "Please, in the future, warn me before you do something like that."

She grinned wider. "Does that mean it helped?"

I groaned, dropping my head.

That wasn’t even what I came here for...

"Fine, fine." She laughed, holding up her hands in surrender. "I will give you fair warning next time."

I wanted to tell her that this did not mean she should take me there again, but I wasn’t sure there would be a next time.

Nessa watched me, her expression softening from teasing to something more perceptive.

"You didn’t come here just to scold me about the pleasure house," she said quietly. "What’s wrong?"

I stared at my cup, watching the steam curl upward.

"I don’t know where to start," I admitted.

"Start anywhere," she said simply.

I was quiet for a long moment, gathering my thoughts.

"I have two mates," I finally said.

Nessa’s body flinched with a startled jump. Her eyes went wide and she stared for quite a while.

"I... see," she whispered.

I sighed.

"I didn’t expect that," she added.

"I don’t know what to do," I continued, the words spilling out before I could stop them. "About any of it, and I am so tired."

I possibly couldn’t tell her about the pull, or whatever I intended to do, but I still needed someone to talk to about this too.

I set my cup down, my hands trembling slightly.

"I feel like I’m drowning," I whispered. "Like no matter what I do, someone would get hurt."

"This... the other one," she finally spoke up. "Who... are they?"

"Kael. Fresna’s Supreme Alpha."

Nessa was quiet, and the silence stretched on for long enough that I had to take a few more sips of my drink to calm myself down.

Then she leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees, her expression serious.

"Can I ask you something?"

I looked at her.

"Are you happy?"

The question caught me off guard.

"What?"

"Here, with our Supreme Alpha. Are you happy?"

I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again.

I was happy.

There were absolutely moments of happiness, and peace. Moments with him where everything felt right, where I could forget about all the complications and just live.

But beneath some of those moments, there was always the guilt regarding Kael, the uncertainty, and the knowledge that this peace was temporary, that I couldn’t stay in this limbo forever.

"I do not mean in general. I meant with Rowan," Nessa cut into my thoughts and I flinched.

Had she noticed my thoughts had spiralled?