Chapter 165

Ciel

Nolan doesn’t pressure me. He doesn’t ask more questions, doesn’t push for details I’m not ready to give. He just sits with me.

The way he always has.

The way he always will.

"You look so good at work," I say, my voice still a little shaky. "No one would believe it if I told them you come from a family of cabbage farmers."

He groans, and I laugh a little.

"You’re never going to let that go, are you?"

"Never." I tilt my head, looking up at him. "It’s part of your charm. Humble beginnings. A real rags-to-riches story."

"I’m not rich."

"Your boyfriend is a prince."

"He’s also your boyfriend, Ciel." He says.

I blink. "I can’t believe we have the same boyfriend."

"Me neither." He shifts in the chair, looking down at me.

"Really?" I say.

"Uh huh." His voice is softer now. "I’ve kind of actually always wanted to be your boyfriend. Your only boyfriend."

I almost gasp. It’s in moments like this that I realize—to Nolan, he’s always felt this way about me. Not recently. Not since Jack arrived. Always.

"Your dream is fifty percent complete," I say.

He tilts his head. "Is it?"

"Yeah." I poke his chest. "I’m your boyfriend after all."

The smile that spreads across his face makes him look a whole decade younger. His eyes crinkle. His cheeks round.

He looks like the boy from Tillermill, the one who used to throw rocks at my window just to see me.

"Yeah," he says, his voice thick. "I guess you are."

His cheeks are pink. His ears are red. He’s so cute.

"You’re that happy?" I ask.

"Yeah." He ducks his head, embarrassed. "It’s the first time you’ve said so."

"Well." I poke his chest again. "I, Ciel, am your boyfriend. Your lover. Your sweetheart. Your romantic partner. Your honey. Your baby."

His blush deepens. Spreads down his neck.

"Stop, Ciel. I can’t be looking like this at work." He covers his face with his other hand.

"Like a tomato?" I say.

"Stop."

"You know the color of your cheeks is practically the same shade as my hair right now."

"Ciel." He’s pleading now. His voice cracks. "Please."

I laugh. I can’t help it. I lean up and press a kiss to his cheek,the one that’s not covered by his hand.

He lowers his hand, just enough to peek at me. His eyes are bright, embarrassed, but happy.

"I love you," he says quietly.

Not like a confession. Not like it’s new.

Like it’s a fact. Like the sky is blue and the ocean is salt and Nolan Harlow loves Ciel Rosengarde.

"I know," I say.

He groans. "You could say it back."

"You know I love you, Nollie." I grab his face and place a kiss on his nose.

"How could I not love you? You’re my soul."

"And you are mine." He places the tiniest peck on my lips before pulling away.

He’s so perfect.

I love him.

"I’m in love with you," I say.

His eyes open wide.

The world stops.

Not literally—outside, people are still typing, phones are still ringing, the afternoon light is still slanting through the glass walls. But here, in this small bubble of space between us, everything pauses.

His mouth opens. Closes. Opens again.

"What?" he says.

"I’m in love with you."

The words come easier this time.

"Not because you protect me. Not because you stayed. Not because you’re safe."

I cup his face in my hands.

"Because you’re you. Because you’ve always been you. Because I don’t know who I am without you."

His eyes are wet.

"Nollie—"

"I think I’ve always been in love with you." The words keep coming, spilling out of me like water from a cracked vessel.

"I hated it when you gave other people your attention. I hated it when I thought of you having a life outside of me. I’ve always wanted to be around you." I swallow.

"Me being in love with you is not something new. It’s something that’s always been there. It feels like I’ve finally put the finishing piece of the puzzle in our story."

He opens his mouth. Closes it.

"I can’t believe it," he says finally.

"I know." I drop my gaze, then force myself to meet his eyes again.

"I think...because I’m an omega and you’re a beta...I never let myself look at our relationship. Because..."

I stop. Keep quiet.

Something I didn’t know—something buried in me, apparently now bubbling up to the surface.

"I was afraid," I say.

A tear drops.

"I was afraid of what I’d find if I looked too closely." My voice cracks.

"I was afraid of losing you. Of the pain of a doomed relationship. Because of our physiological differences. Because the world would tell us we don’t fit."

Another tear.

"And now..." I breathe. "I’m not afraid anymore. I’m happy. Because we can be together without such worries."

Nolan stares at me.

For a long moment, he doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move. Just looks at me like I’ve rewritten everything he thought he knew.

Then he pulls me into his arms so fast I gasp.

He holds me tight, as if squeezing the life out of me.

I hold him just as tight.

It feels like a weight has come off my chest. A weight I didn’t even know I was carrying—one I’d been holding for years, decades, my whole adult life.

I don’t have to secretly wish Nolan was an alpha.

I don’t have to wish I was born a beta.

We’re just... okay.

We’re just okay.

The thought settles into my bones like warmth after being cold for too long.

I feel so relieved.

I want to scream and laugh for joy.

I grab his face in my hands and kiss him, hard, right on the mouth.

"I love you," I say against his lips.

"I know." He’s smiling now, finally. "You’ve mentioned."

"I’m going to mention it a lot. Every day. Multiple times a day."