Chapter 176: Both She and She Guessed It

(Only two Chapters today, another one coming later.)

Li Yan was the first to wake up in the morning. Last night, he vented the deep negative emotions hidden in his heart, and he was so exhausted that he fell asleep.

In past similar experiences, after waking up, there would still be some shadows of the Heart Demon, but they had lessened and weakened, able to be self-controlled. But last night, he didn’t kill anyone; instead, through recollection, he touched and awakened the Heart Demon hidden deep within himself. After a period of release and sleep, he was now feeling incredibly calm.

Looking at Qiao Huanxuan still asleep, Li Yan recalled last night’s events. After recounting the past, his memory gradually blurred, but he was very clear about the general situation.

He lovingly reached into the blanket, gently stroking her skin.

Perhaps she had slept enough, or maybe it was his movements that woke her. Qiao Huanxuan stirred, briefly opening her still squinted eyes, seeing his actions.

"What’s up?"

"You’re awake? Last night..." 𝑓𝘳𝑒𝑒𝓌𝘦𝘣𝘯ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝑚

"Last night was really high, wasn’t it? You were high, while I was miserable!" Qiao Huanxuan snorted lightly, symbolically chastising him.

Li Yan felt a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, let me check you..."

Seeing him actually wanting to lift the blanket to check, Qiao Huanxuan quickly stopped him, giving him a white-eyed look: "So unhygienic!" Then she got up, covering her lower body as she ran to the bathroom.

Li Yan didn’t stand on ceremony anymore and followed her to the bathroom to take a shower.

...

After showering, the two lay in bed, embracing each other. It was still early, but not enough for a quick nap.

"Feeling better?" Qiao Huanxuan asked softly, not knowing what exactly was wrong with Li Yan, so she dared not ask further.

Li Yan hugged her tighter and said in a low voice, "Sorry, I lost control later and was completely brutal to you, without considering your feelings..."

Qiao Huanxuan was a bit embarrassed and said, "It’s okay."

Hearing her say it’s okay, Li Yan felt a bit relieved. With the foreign women from past one-night stands, there was no emotional connection, and he knew they could handle it, so he wouldn’t care. But Qiao Huanxuan was his woman, he’d feel distressed.

The atmosphere from recalling past events last night was gone now, and the emotions in the morning were always different from late at night. Li Yan feared she might worry, so he thought for a moment and said slowly, "I’m fine. It’s just that the story last night reached a segment I am reluctant to face... Generally, I don’t think about it. Trying to recall it last night made me a bit crazed."

Qiao Huanxuan reached out to stroke his face, brushing against the stubble, and said softly, "It’s okay. I won’t push for things you don’t want to say; I will keep your secrets. But... seeing you avoid it, it becomes a hidden danger. When the time is right, you should try facing it. The knot must be untied by the one who tied it. It’s your memory; if you don’t face it, no one else can help you."

"Hmm..." Li Yan felt it was indeed true, but as for this ’right time,’ he didn’t know when. Last night was ok because he had OOXQiao Huanxuan; if it were other settings where he did something bloodthirsty and crazy, it wouldn’t be good.

Qiao Huanxuan saw through his concerns and suggested, "How about this: next time, we’ll set the atmosphere again. If you can’t say it to someone, try writing it down. Use my computer next time and write it down. I’ll wait for you in bed. If you lose control, I’ll comfort you, and you won’t have to worry about hurting others."

Li Yan was a bit surprised; he didn’t expect her to be willing and dare to be used as an outlet after seeing his peculiarity!

"You’re like this..."

He wanted to ask ’Is it worth it?’, but then he remembered, this was Qiao Huanxuan! She waited over ten years for a muddled youthful object from middle school, a crush that never even formally started. Is it worth it? Compared to her emotional investment, what else counts as anything? This question did not need asking at all!

He affectionately embraced Qiao Huanxuan tighter and deliberately changed his tone to lighten the mood, "Sure, but next time, let’s go three or two rounds first, drain my stamina to lessen the chance of wearing you out..."

"Get lost! If we go several rounds first, won’t I be more wrecked by you?"

"Uh... seems like you have a point." Talking about this topic made Li Yan a little relaxed, and a thought flashed in his mind. That piece of ancient stone with a mark!

As Yue Yao said, having that thing around them might not necessarily help, but rather cause harm. But using it to balance the emotions when the Heart Demon strikes should have some restraining effect, right? Next time with that around, attempts could continue; once he gains control, maybe the knot could truly untie!

Seeing Li Yan’s relaxed demeanor, Qiao Huanxuan hesitated to speak but ultimately decided to go ahead, "Li Yan..."

"Hmm?"

"I want you to know... no matter how unbearable that part of your past you don’t want to face is, I won’t mind, and I’ll help you overcome it! Even if you’ve been involved with a man before..."

Li Yan felt a surge of warmth hearing her words. Although his resolve didn’t need a woman’s support, her understanding and support undoubtedly comforted him greatly. But he didn’t expect her final sentence to expose her guess, leaving him slightly annoyed, "Only you are involved with a man!"

Qiao Huanxuan wasn’t angry; she smiled, "Wasn’t I involved with you? You’re a man!"

"..." Li Yan was speechless.

He remembered a joke: A man on the street, angry, yelled at his son, saying ’I f***ed your mom’. Bystanders saw this and disapproved, feeling he was corrupting the child with foul language. Someone calmly said, "He wasn’t cursing; he was stating a fact..." The joke resonates now. Qiao Huanxuan guessed he might have been involved with a man; he countered with the same words, yet she, being female, being involved with a male is normal; being involved with a female is not.

Actually, Qiao Huanxuan guessed this partly because she always rejected men previously; ’Li Yan’ existed only in fantasy, and over time she somewhat accepted dubious female perversion. Additionally, Li Yan’s unclear story: being spotted by a man, forcibly taken, followed by long grueling training... At that time, Li Yan wasn’t yet as mature or weathered; he could be considered a handsome youth, so who knows if he was... Lastly, there aren’t many things that make men lose control; being so subjected could be one of life’s most disgraceful humiliations.

Li Yan coughed once, "For the record, I’ve been involved with many women, but never with a man, much less been involved with one! I can’t speak about it, not only because it profoundly impacted me but also out of fear you can’t handle it."

"I believe you, and whenever you feel ready to tell me, I’ll definitely be able to accept!" Qiao Huanxuan nodded in agreement, thinking partly perhaps not being involved meant... related to killing. Connecting Li Yan’s years of reluctance to return home or connect with past acquaintances could be because he had killed before.

This thought shocked her, but she could mostly accept it. Seeing Li Yan’s painful expression last night, just the recollection after years was like that; one can only imagine the despair he felt back then.

...

It’s not the weekend; everyone has to work. Checking the time, Li Yan left the hotel early and drove directly to work.

Once outside, Li Yan turned on his phone. He received two messages from Li Jie; one was sent last night, asking why his phone was off and saying to call her phone to talk to Yu Xiaodi.

Seeing this delayed message, Li Yan sweat a bit. He always wanted to connect with Xiaodi and wasn’t expecting Li Jie’s help, only to miss it due to his phone being off. He thought it was probably when they were home, avoiding Chen Mingying while sleeping. He wanted to call now but remembered there was another message and checked it quickly.

This one was sent this morning; Li Jie likely guessed Li Yan would call once he turned the phone on and told him not to so as not to arouse suspicion. Just keep the phone on, and she’ll call when suitable.

Although a bit disappointed, Li Yan felt reassured. Initially, Chen Mingying wanted Li Jie to block his harassment, but she became his ally! This might benefit from Li Jie previously opposing while protecting Yu Xiaodi?

Once at the company, Li Yan felt good but was not focused on work. Because he deceived Yurong last night, he felt guilty, and considering she hadn’t started a meeting yet, he decided to call her earlier.

"Yurong, you’re at work? Last night..." Li Yan felt he sounded guilty.

Zhang Yurong interrupted him, "Last night Yu Xiaodi returned, right?"

(Thanks for yesterday’s reward: Sea of Falling Leaves, `, .This \ Love Can Wait, dongmin8061, Li Fanshow, Cavalry, Illusion Breaker, Cp Pampas) (To be continued, to know what happens next, please visit www.qidian.com for more Chapters, support the author, support legitimate reading!)