Chapter 923: Chapter 433: Two Wishes, Can’t Be Granted at Once

Quarrel at the head of the bed, make up at the foot of the bed—Lin Li and Bai Bufan were soon slinging their arms around each other again, chummily heading into the church.

Neither of them looked back at the girls.

It’s not that they didn’t want to, it’s mainly because when they started throwing hands at each other just now, the girls didn’t even pretend to break it up. Their first reaction was to distance themselves, act like they didn’t know the two of them, then take a big C-shaped detour straight into the church.

Sell out your teammates at the drop of a hat, not even a sliver of loyalty—how is that not outrageous.

"Lin Li, once we get inside remember to act tough, don’t embarrass us. This is a critical node; it determines how we get treated." When they were near the iron gate at the entrance of the main church building, Bai Bufan lowered his voice to remind him.

"There some special trick to it?" Lin Li humbly asked for guidance.

"I heard that as long as you flip the script and act like the host when you enter the church, the people inside will worship you like crazy." Bai Bufan said mysteriously, whispering the "secret" he’d learned.

Lin Li’s eyes lit up. Sounded kinda legit!

Say less, do more!

"Yo, bro, this church is mine. Tickets are fifty today. WeChat or Alipay?" Lin Li turned around, randomly stopped an unlucky young guy, whipped out his phone to show the payment QR code, and ordered in a cold voice. 𝚏𝐫𝚎𝗲𝕨𝐞𝐛𝕟𝚘𝐯𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝗺

Passerby: "?"

Before the other guy could even get to the "your f—" opening stance, Bai Bufan had already lunged forward, locked an arm around Lin Li’s neck in a chokehold, and dragged him toward the church. While hauling him away, he still remembered to look back, face stacked with apologetic smiles:

"Sorry, bro, my buddy had a high fever as a kid and his mom took him to a vet clinic by mistake, so his brain didn’t fully develop and his cerebellum didn’t develop at all. Please be understanding, be understanding—"

Bai Bufan felt the girls’ decision to ditch him and Lin Li and bolt ahead was pure genius. Absolutely wise.

If it were him, he’d run too.

Crossing the quaint iron gate, they officially stepped into the church grounds.

After just a few steps, once they entered the church building, they could see the Holy Water font. Since today was an open day, there were plenty of non-church people around. A lot of them were curious about it, including Chen Yu Ying and the others, who had lined up to try it out.

A mild-mannered staffer stood nearby, explaining:

"Touching the Holy Water can cleanse your body and soul and commemorate baptism. We welcome everyone to touch the Holy Water. Actually there’s no need for you to make the sign of the cross like we believers do, but if you want to experience it, we won’t stop you. The only requirement is that you follow the standard motions, and silently recite the prayer devoutly in your heart."

Lin Li and Bai Bufan didn’t go up.

They really couldn’t muster any piety.

Two guys whose brains had been poisoned by the internet—when they heard the words "Holy Water," the stuff that popped into their heads was anything but holy.

Taking advantage of the moment, they followed the flow deeper inside. After circling past a stone wall behind the Holy Water font, the main Holy Temple of the church suddenly opened up before them.

There were quite a lot of people inside—men and women, old and young, bustling about.

And this was only around three in the afternoon; who’d have thought Catholicism had this many believers in a little county like Nansang.

Then again, makes sense: as long as you’re willing to hand out eggs, plenty of aunties are willing to believe in you. First some believe, then they drag others in to believe.

These believers weren’t praying at the moment, but singing under the guidance of a church staff member.

The lyrics weren’t in Chinese or English, but judging from the melody, it should be a Christmas carol they were rehearsing.

They grabbed a pamphlet from the entrance, scanned the QR code, and a detailed map of the church popped up on their phone.

On the left of the main Holy Temple were the temporary theater, activity rooms, and offices; on the right were the statue of the Virgin Mary and... the confessional.

When they saw that word, their gazes met, then in perfect sync turned toward the right.

There really was a room labeled "Confessional." Its door was closed at the moment, and on the bench opposite the door sat two people, no idea if they were waiting their turn.

"What a shame."

"I looked it up—only priests hear confessions. There are no sexy, busty, curvy big sisters in nun outfits. In theory, nuns aren’t even allowed into the confessional. Sigh, the internet lied to me."

Bai Bufan, who had quickly pulled out his phone to search, slumped like his fantasies had just been brutally shattered.

"That really is a shame," Lin Li shook his head regretfully. "Otherwise I actually kinda wanted to go in and confess."

"Yeah, I’ve done so much evil in my life, I really do need a proper confession." Bai Bufan strongly agreed.

"What would you two even confess?"

The girls had just finished experiencing the sign of the cross and happened to walk over. Hearing this, Chen Yu Ying couldn’t hold back a laugh and asked with a hint of curious amusement.

Then, as if worried they’d say way too much, Ding Sihan quickly added, "Just one thing we haven’t heard before is enough. One. One is plenty."

Lin Li: "Once I turned my grandma’s phone brightness all the way down and then asked her for money to ’get it fixed.’"

Bai Bufan: "Once I put both sleeping pills and a laxative into a roommate’s water—his surname’s Zhou—and then, while he was simultaneously sleeping and going pfffft pfffft pfffft, I sprinkled fiberglass and itching powder all over his back. So when he woke up, if he didn’t scratch it, the itch was killing him; if he did scratch, the pain was killing him."

Chen Yu Ying, Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "..."

Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out where these two’s moral bottom line actually is.

Satan: You two are arguably a bit too extreme.

"You really only want to hear one? We’ve got loads more.

I just checked—this confessional is by appointment only, and each session with the priest is limited to fifteen minutes. To be honest, that’s kind of looking down on us."

Lin Li, reading off the info on his phone, curled his lip as he spoke.