Chapter 68: 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches

Jordan stood in his apartment staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The black Henley fit him well enough, paired with dark jeans and the brown Chelsea boots. Clean. Presentable. Good enough for karaoke.

But the shirt pulled slightly across his shoulders now. The jeans felt tighter in the thighs.

The Tune Up trait kept optimizing his body. Making him bigger. Stronger.

His clothes couldn’t keep up.

Shopping trip soon, Jordan thought. Maybe take Chloe. Make it a date thing.

His phone sat on the bathroom counter. Screen dark.

Jordan grabbed it. Unlocked the interface.

The golden System menu appeared immediately.

💝 CASHBACK ∞

ACTIVE CONNECTIONS

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Chloe Kim 📍

Chemistry: 53% ▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱

Return Rate: 1.06x

Last interaction: 14 minutes ago

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[EMPTY SLOT]

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Unlock: Reach 75% chemistry

Current progress: 53/75

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Jordan stared at the number.

Fifty-three percent.

Not forty-six. Not forty-five.

Fifty-three.

Holy shit.

His finger hovered over Chloe’s name. A detail window expanded.

CHEMISTRY HISTORY:

8% → Initial registration (The Ivy)

15% → Coffee date conversation (+7%)

20% → First apartment visit (+5%)

34% → Movie night intimacy (+14%)

52% → First sexual encounter (+12%)

46% → Grandpa’s inheritance revelation (-6%)

43% → Tension after revelation (-3%)

45% → Korean dinner reconciliation (+2%)

50% → Second sexual encounter (+5%)

53% → Shower conversation (+3%)

The graph showed a sharp drop after Jordan’s inheritance lie. Then a recovery. Then steady climbing.

She hit fifty percent during round two upstairs.

The break-even point.

Every dollar I spend on her now makes me money.

A breath he didn’t know he was holding finally escaped him, leaving a warmth in its place that had nothing to do with the shower.

Not because of the cashback rate.

Because Chloe Kim, the girl who slammed her door in his face thirty-six hours ago, now sat at fifty-three percent chemistry. Above the threshold. Past the point of no return.

She’s into me. Actually into me.

The System confirmed what his gut already knew.

Jordan closed the detail window. Navigated to his quest log.

ACTIVE QUESTS:

Daily Quest: Path to Becoming Adonis ⏰ Reset in 4:23:41

[✓ ] Physical: 90 minutes activity (0/90 minutes)

[✓ ] Hygiene Level 1: Shower with soap

[ ✓] Hygiene Level 2: Brush teeth, floss

[ ✓] Grooming: Skincare routine

[ ✓] Social: Speak to 3 beauties, 2 minutes each

NEW: Optional Quest Detected

🎤 Karaoke Gambit

Impress the women at tonight’s gathering. Register one as your second slot before midnight.

Objectives:

Attend karaoke event ✓ (accepted invitation)

Demonstrate vocal ability OR social dominance

Achieve 15%+ attraction with at least one unregistered beauty

Register qualified beauty to Slot 2

Rewards:

15 Quest Tickets

Special Item: Mystery Box (Gold Tier)

Relationship milestone bonus

Failure Penalty: None

(System Note: This is entirely optional. You may choose to leave Slot 2 empty indefinitely if you prefer monogamy. However, your "grandfather’s will" requires three relationships, so you might want to get started.)

Jordan read the quest twice.

Optional. No failure penalty.

He could ignore it completely. Focus on Chloe. Build that chemistry to seventy-five percent and unlock slot three naturally.

Or.

He could register someone tonight. Get ahead of the curve. Start working on the second relationship while Chloe processed the inheritance situation.

Alexis will be there. Kumiko too.

Both registered as beauties when the System pinged them in the student union.

Both attractive enough to qualify.

Both complicated in different ways.

Alexis was a bitch. Kumiko was a romantic who fell in love every three weeks.

Neither sounded appealing compared to the girl next door who just let him finish inside her twice in four hours.

But the System dangled a gold-tier mystery box.

And fifteen tickets.

Jordan checked his current ticket count.

Quest Tickets: 54 🎫

Fifty-four tickets from completing Ground Zero, daily quests, and milestone achievements.

Enough for five bronze pulls. Or one silver with four tickets left over.

The gacha menu glowed at the bottom of his screen.

GACHA SYSTEM:

Bronze: 10 tickets

Silver: 50 tickets

Gold: 100 tickets

Platinum: 250 tickets

Jordan did the math.

Bronze gave him five pulls for fifty tickets. Silver gave him one pull for the same cost.

Classic decoy effect. Make silver look inefficient so people either spam bronze or save for gold.

And bronze already gave him Tune Up. The trait that rebuilt his entire body overnight.

Five chances versus one.

Jordan pressed the bronze gacha button.

The screen exploded with golden light. A wheel appeared, spinning fast. Icons blurred together.

Trait symbols. Item icons. Question marks.

The wheel slowed. Slower. Stopped.

[BRONZE GACHA]

PULL 1/5

The icon solidified. A broken heart with cracks running through it.

[Bitch Breaker]

|Uncommon Trait|

Cognitive and behavioral recalibration via intense physical intimacy. You now possess an innate mastery of adjusting hostile or abrasive personalities through applied sexual dominance. Hormonal realignment guaranteed.

(System Note: An incredibly bold software installation for a user with new practical experience. Try not to embarrass yourself.)

Jordan stared at the description.

Sexual dominance.

Hormonal realignment.

Adjusting hostile personalities.

His brain immediately conjured an image of Alexis. Her sharp blue eyes. Her condescending smile. The way she called him the Prada bag guy.

No. Absolutely not.

He was not fucking Alexis Van Der Berg into being a decent person.

That sounded like a terrible porn plot and an even worse life decision.

But the trait was already installed. Already active.

Jordan closed the notification. Hit the gacha button again. The wheel spun and landed on a tumbling piece of desert brush.

PULL 2/5

[Dramatic Tumbleweed]

|Trash Trait|

Ambient atmospheric generation unlocked. During high-stress interpersonal encounters, a single, fully rendered tumbleweed will autonomously spawn and roll through your immediate vicinity to provide cinematic framing. The botanical asset de-renders the millisecond it breaks direct line of sight.

(System Note: You are a business economics major in Southern California, not an outlaw. Stop trying to initiate standoffs and focus on your GPA.)

Jordan blinked.

Read it again.

What the fuck.

A tumbleweed. A literal tumbleweed that spawns during awkward moments.

This was the definition of a trash-tier trait. Completely useless. Actively embarrassing.

The System was trolling him.

He hit the button again, and the wheel settled on a pink bunny icon with hearts.

PULL 3/5

[Bunny’s Blessings]

|Common Item|

A two-piece tactical intimacy set consisting of a leporine cranial accessory and a silicone posterior insertion node. Application of these items induces a mild neurochemical charm enhancement and forcefully elevates physiological arousal in the wearer. Additionally optimizes ovulation cycles to maximize reproductive viability.

(System Note: Synergizes dangerously well with your [Ceaseless Discharge] trait. Given the aggressive biological declarations you made to Chloe Kim, consider this a loaded weapon. Do not deploy unless you are prepared to pay eighteen years of child support.)