Ascension: Cursed Blood - Chapter 11: Crash

God: I shall bestow the Saintess upon you.
Pope: W- wait a moment! This is a boy!
God: That is the Saintess.
Pope: ??????

And just like that, the Saintess was raised by the church for fifteen years without any questions asked…

- Description from Novelupdates

Gu Nianshen had thought all along that he was raped by an older lady five years ago when he got really drunk at a nightclub. When he met a child who resembled him and Lin Yiqian, he carried the child in his arms.

“Where is your Mommy?” He asked. Calmly, the child pointed a finger at the screen of his phone.

“There. She’s performing at a concert.” Coincidentally, the screen was displaying how a wealthy fan gifted the female singer on stage with 999 roses.

Gu Nianshen’s facial expression turned spiteful as he gave his secretary an order. “Give Lin Yiqian a call. Tell her that her son has been kidnapped. She will have to turn herself in to get him in return.”

“Bad guy…” Before the child could finish uttering his sentence, his biological father had placed a hand over his mouth. “You are being kidnapped!” Gu Nianshen fumed.

- Description from Novelupdates

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

God rewards hard work, and there must be rewards for paying.

And no matter how hard you work, you will gain 100%!

So, for things like cultivating immortals, don’t you just need to have hands?

- Description from novelbuddy