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PREVIEW

... now that the best woman to save the day is... Samaus."

"Hey," a non-descript male voice said despite the CGI figure being a blonde woman. "I'm Samaus."

"Chris Pratt is Samaus in METROID: The Movie."

"Heh, what a ridiculous voice ta put in a character's mouth," Joey said, though his heavy Brooklyn accent couldn't hide that he wasn't all cheer and smiles. He knew he was being mopey but after his loss against Brom he couldn't help but feel down. Tea had managed to get to the ...

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During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

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“You really want me to save people?”

Looking at the shivering victim in front of him,

Look at the [Owl’s Head Wire], [The Murderer’s Gift], [Universal Anesthetic], [Invisible Potion] in the item column…

Shiraishi touched the hideous mask on his face and fell into deep thought.

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“The Salary Thief in the Distillery”

“What does the vest do to me have anything to do with it?”

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Bei Ran lay on the operating table, Gu Qingchen was her surgeon. His eyes, deep as the Aegean Sea, gazed at her: “Honey, it's been four years since we got married, and you're still afraid of me?”Honey? Last night he already threw a divorce agreement at her, what right does he have to call her that?In City A, Gu Qingchen is a long-lasting legend. He is a leading figure in the medical field and a major shareholder in a Fortune 500 company, capable of great influence in the business world.He only needed an obedient wife. Bei Ran was so 'obedient' that he never had to worry. The four-year marriage was just a matter of agreement, but who is the one lingering endlessly after the divorce?She accidentally fell into water at a wedding she was hosting, he said: “Beg me, you know I'm always responsive to your demands!”“Gu Qingchen, we're divorced!” Bei Ran couldn't stand it anymore!He laughed coldly: “Bei Ran, we've been married for four years, you have a five-year-old daughter, do you really want to die here?”Bei Ran was shocked, he knew? Would he fight her for her daughter?Gu Qingchen could never have imagined that the chubby little bun in front of him was actually his biological daughter!“Bei Ran, you hid it from me for five years, always flawlessly obedient before me, tell me, how should I punish you?” Gu Qingchen raised a bloodthirsty smile.Could she possibly not tell him there is also a son who looks just like him!Theater Version:The teacher informed Bei Ran that her son had used a scalpel in school to investigate the cause of death of poisoned small animals. Her daughter was causing a stir in school with her stock trading. In her anger, she said, “No one to take you to school today, take the bus yourselves.”The daughter sought help from Gu Qingchen but got no response, so she said: “Yesterday, a pretty aunt stayed in Dad's office for an hour, and her skirt was super short.”The twins truly had a shared understanding; the son said: “The station manager hugged Mom yesterday, even kissed her cheek, and said he would never let go!”Bei Ran and Gu Qingchen spoke in unison: “Trying to sow discord, you're still too naive, go to school yourselves!”The siblings shouldered their backpacks and went to take the bus, while the couple returned to the bedroom, closing the door behind them.She leapt onto him, her fiery temper on full display: “You actually stayed with that woman for an entire hour?”He was overbearingly domineering: “Damn it, which part of you did he kiss, I will seal his mouth with a scalpel!”

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Their faiths were shattered into pieces and buried in ashes in the raging fire.

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