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... ally yelled from the kitchen like I was having some kind of breakdown.

"Peter, what’s so damn funny up there?"

"Nothing, just... TikTok!" I yelled back, wiping tears from my eyes because I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

If only she knew I was laughing about becoming the sexual messiah for California’s most frustrated housewives. That’s some next-level irony that would probably give her a heart attack.

After getting back from Madison’s Range Rover adventure— ...

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