Eldritch Guidance - Chapter 69: A Slimy Mystery

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

I’m an imperial uncle; his imperial majesty’s uncle.

Once, someone with nothing better to do took a comprehensive survey of the current dynasty, and summed up the imperial court’s three great cancers.

Wang Qin leads in corruption; the treasury is never full.

Yun Tang favours a few, forming cabals; leading to corruption in our politics.

Prince Huai plays with power, and serves as the head of a hundred poisons — thus causing instability to the throne.

When they talk about the most venomous of vipers, the wicked one who plays with power, the biggest cancer of them all, they’re talking about me: this insignificant prince, Prince Huai, Chengjun.

I can only say that I feel rather hapless in the face of these theories.

In truth, I have been ever dutiful, ever devoted, devoid of intention to monopolise power, and possess even less of a heart to covet the throne. In the entire imperial court, I dare say there is no loyal subject more loyal than I.

But, most tragically, in all the realm, the matter of my being a loyal subject is something that not many would believe.

- Description from Novelupdates

Tang Hao was an honest man making an honest living, but despite all his honesty and kindness, life often looked the other way. Even when he stood up for a man in the streets, he ended up being beaten to a pulp and the man he stood up for? He disappeared. That left Tang Hao with nothing to prove and a hefty medical bill blowing through his savings. However, while he lay unconscious in the hospital, he could feel a warmth coming from the jade pendent he wore as it began to feed him with a trove of priceless information. Now discharged, and still armed with the same naivety and honesty, what will our village peasant do with this newfound power? Will he go on to conquer the hearts of a hundred women? Will he defeat the mightiest crime lords? Only time will tell, but for now, fate has many whimsical plans for Tang Hao.

Chang An is a sub-beast who, despite having the talent for the sword, did not have the constitution to support it. And his savior, Hua Yi, is a beastman on the run for his life.

This is a story about how two once innocent children had to grow up in such a cruel beastman world.

- Description from Novelupdates