Everything Was a Mistake - Chapter 1

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

A necromancer and a saint blessed by the Constellations. That’s me.

"Stay with me and I will give you everything your heart desires. For you, my darling, I would part the mountains, split the sea, and cause havoc on Earth just to have you."

"Marry me. Once we're married, I will be loyal to you for life—as long as you keep me alive." Qiao Jiusheng was pushed into the water by her older twin sister, had her identity stolen, losing her old love and life. With no other choice, she seeks out Fang Yusheng, the blind man rumored to have no interest in women. With blank and empty eyes, he says, "Sure." In her past life, she was betrayed by her sister and trapped in the basement. Her tongue was cut off as she watched her sister take her place, winning overall her loved ones, marrying her lover of six years, and starting a family with him. Now that she's back to a time before it all went wrong, Qiao Jiusheng escapes from the river and goes to her boyfriend's older half-brother. She puts on a mask and marries him, to fight their common enemy. The wheels of fate begin to spin, and the severed threads of destiny are once again entwined... Before their wedding, he tells her, "Don't peek at me so openly just because I'm blind and can't see you." On the night of their wedding, he tells her," You don't have to dress like a bear. I don't care for women." Half a year after their wedding, just because she gives another man another look, Fang Yusheng covers her laptop, phone, bedside drawers, desk, and wallet with nothing but his selfies.