Ex-husband, Behave Yourself - Chapter 630

Listen here, because I've seen it with my very own eyes.William Oh was born on the hundredth floor of The Tower, to the greatest Climbers of the ancient world, steeped in the Tower's lethal miasma from the moment he drew breath, giving him strange and unnatural powers.They say he is an immortal being who circles the dreams of mortal men, resurfacing wherever the need is greatest. Those who disparage him will fall into despair, but if you're a Climber in a tight scrape, look to the sky and say a little prayer.Maybe he will appear?Odds are probably better if you pay for my drink.- Rumor overheard on a 1st Floor Tavern. Originator did not pay his tab.

Mysterious gates appeared all around the world a few decades ago. Beings emerged from the gates and brought disaster upon humanity. Humanity called them Demon Spirits. It wasn’t until the advent of Demon Suits and Demon Suiters that humans stood a fighting chance.For some perplexing reason, the world’s number one Demon Suiter, Li “God” Xiu abandons his identity to start over again as a newbie trial-taker. He enters the gates to participate in all sorts of trials, in a bid to seek out the reason that enticed his best friend into becoming a trial-taker.These trials weren't the run-of-the-mill dungeons, ranging from game sports (soccer, basketball, baseball, etc) to athletics. Just as fortune favors the brave, what would Li Xiu obtain on his quest?“Are you telling me he’s a greenhorn?” the other trial-takers frustratingly ask while watching Li Xiu's feats that prove why he's the number one Demon Suiter.

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

Jiang Dao died extremely heroically in the apocalyptic world war. He never thought that he would have a chance to open his eyes again.

He traveled through, into a danmei book he had read, and became a vicious villain in the book.

Jiang Dao thought to himself: “After more than ten years of fighting for my life in the last days, I’m tired, so what am I fighting for? It’s better to be a vase. Use my face to finish the brokerage contract, and then find a corner in the world with beautiful scenery and live a peaceful life of growing vegetables, cooking, and raising cats and dogs…”

So, he returned the role that the original owner had snatched from the protagonist shou on the spot.

Unexpectedly, in the variety show that started shooting the next day, Jiang Dao performed a shoulder toss and threw the current number one kung fu actor, Chu Yinlong, to the ground.

Chu Yinlong: Boy, you have successfully caught my attention. My new movie, the villain, can fight, you come.

Jiang Dao: …Sorry, I’m just a vase.

————

In a later interview.

A reporter asked Chu Yinlong: “How would you rate your perfect partner, Mr. Jiang Dao?”

Chu Yinlong replied: “A vase.”

Reporter: “How can a kung fu superstar as famous as him be a vase?”

Chu Yinlong: “Diamond vase. Precious, beautiful, hard enough.”

- Description from Novelupdates