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...

Control.

It was a word he repeated again and again in his mind. He was so unwilling about everything. Unwilling that so much was up to luck. Unwilling that his temperament was meaning. Unwilling that… even his unwillingness was probably a sham.

If he had another personality, would he care so much? Didn't that mean that even his unwillingness was worthless?

There had to be something to grasp onto.

The only path left seemed to be death. Why bother to hold on ...

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