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... king apocalypse. Right now, I was pinned under his right leg while the Alien King, Sexis, dangled in a chokehold from his left hand.

And if that wasn't bad enough, my ADHD ass couldn't resist throwing a dad joke his way. The result? Malthus pressed down harder.

Honestly, that's on me. But speaking of dad jokes, I just remembered another:

A man is washing his car with his son.

After a while, the boy asks, "Dad, why can't you just use a sponge?"

...

...

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