I Wish I Wore a Condom Because the Hooker Ended Up Being My Mom - Chapter 11: Relaxative

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

Before she met the system, Bai Yu always thought that she was a girl who was incomparably innocent who can’t understand.

After encountering the system, she dragged the sour and tired body day and night, greeting the system and the man for a thousand lives and 10,000 times.

– The final conclusion is that the body is fragile, and it need to be cherished.

This is a story of being crushed by one male after another.

- Description from Novelupdates

[Ding........ ][System Binding.......][10%..........][20%..........][40%..........][60%..........][80%..........][100%........][ Congratulations, Host! The Strongest Family System has been bound! ]----------------------------“Huh? I’ve transmigrated…” Arthur muttered, his voice barely above a whisper as he surveyed his bewildering new surroundings. Confusion washed over him like a tidal wave.-----------------------------Arthur was just an ordinary corporate worker, an overworked cog in the relentless machine of corporate life.After seven grueling days of nonstop overtime, his body finally gave out, collapsing right before his computer screen at home.He thought that was it; he thought he was dead. But little did he know, fate had something extraordinary in store for him.Instead of fading into oblivion, Arthur found himself thrust into a vast and unfamiliar world, one ten times larger than Earth itself!To his astonishment, he had become the head of the Osborn family, a once-mighty lineage now teetering on the brink of destruction.Bound by the standard configuration for all transmigrators: The System which is the [Strongest Family System ], Arthur faced an epic challenge: to transform the faltering Osborn family into the most powerful dynasty in existence.Join Arthur on this thrilling adventure as he navigates treacherous waters filled with intrigue, power, influence and danger.Can he lead a declining family back to glory and secure their place at the top?

In one moment, he was walking down the street with his little sister—In the next, he had traveled to the world of One Piece, carrying a system that could extract, record, and fuse genes to cultivate powerful lifeforms.Thus began a leisurely and carefree life in the most chaotic world imaginable.When bored, he’d snatch a bit of heavenly tribute meant for the Celestial Dragons.When curious, he’d raise a few cute kittens and bunnies just for fun.When restless, he’d wander through the territories of the most fearsome powers in the New World.Life is beautiful—so why bother taking anything seriously?