Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 582: I Heard Everyone Watched the New EVA Movie? Then Let’s Joyfully Praise It

Sixty Years ago, one middle aged man brought a Qilin that looked like a pug and a mandarin duck that looked exactly like a duck, walking into the Imperial City of the Central Plains for the first time.

Linky transmigrated to the Magical Land and became the third young master of a noble family. Just when he thought it was time for him to enjoy a life of luxury.

He was sent out for the family’s tribulation, and had to set off to the “Land of Death”

— Black Wind Castle! Here, dark elves, frenzied orcs, and blood-thirsty dragons were regular occurrences! Everyone thought that Linky would surely die, and had even prepared to collect his body.

But just then, Linky awakened the [Super Gourmet System]. As such, things changed.

The Elf Queen loved his fruit salad, while the Orc Saint couldn’t get enough of his grilled steak. The Sorcerer of the Holy Palace couldn’t live a day without the “Linky Brand” whiskey.

Even the Vampire Prince Nikolas would sacrifice anything to get a long-term order of Linky’s fresh blood coffee.

Until one day, when a gargantuan dragon that blocked out the skies came to his door…

“Nine Heavens cast down the Undying Tree, from the tomb the Immortal's bones were fetched;Taoist Venerable tut-tutted as they drank blood plasma, Old Buddha relished in the chew of meat;Beasts and livestock rang the Dharma Drum, city foxes and hole-dwelling rats boiled in the pot;In the Immortality Wine, the resentful spirits were fishy, at the Killing Banquet, the Dao Fruit was bitter!”In this world where Daoist Skill manifested, countless Sect Cultivators, Side Door Magicians, princes and scholars, officials of high rank and nobles all coveted immortality!Owl God Tomb, stealing heavenly secrets, Pearl Gathering Skill, Holy Infant Pill, bone effigies, Yin God Shrine, human-transformed monsters, Undying Elixir, Red Line Poison, Blood Immortal insects, Mermaid Meat, gold-threaded robes, Five Poisons Primordial Spirit, Seven Star Life Extension...They killed and harmed life only to steal the “Killing Dao Fruit” borne upon that Undying Tree!Until... a sly “Fishing Man” came to this world.Wang Yuan, born with the Small Book of Life and Death, had but a simple and unadorned dream:Amid bustling strings and smoky vistas, on a night bathed in moonlight, in peace and quiet did I lean on the rail, savoring the wind, toasting to the stars.With his “Bride in bridal clothes,” watching the sunrise at Taishan in the morning, admiring Qionghua in Luoyang at noon, and drinking under the aurora by the North Sea in the evening.“But you all smell so incredibly fragrant!No more, none shall escape, for today I shall crowdfund Cultivating Immortality! Please... my treasure, turn around!”The blood-red veil of the Bride abruptly fluttered to the ground.

When Cheng Guang woke up, he realized he had traversed to another world.He had thought his transmigrated identity would be the esteemed Princely Heir to the Duke, but he hadn’t expected an additional (pseudo-) in front of it.It wasn’t tragic, but it definitely wasn’t great either, it was just very helpless.Cheng Guang had thought that being able to be a pseudo-Princely Heir was the biggest cheat in his life, but to his surprise, he was also bound to a system.This system was even more of a scam!It seemed to have bound him three thousand years too early!It started by telling him he had advanced to the Heavenly Human Realm and instructed him to confront the Empress of Great Zhou, who was also in the Heavenly Human Realm.But he was just a small potato!However, wait a second, the Empress of Great Zhou, years later, seems to be just a pushover right now?Cheng Guang became resolute and confident again, I got this!!!