MTL - Don’t Learn Mandarin Ducks - Chapter 44 Turn your elbows out

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

The Cheng family finally found the real daughter who had been wandering the streets. Cheng Ling, the fake daughter who had been wrongly adopted for eighteen years, instantly became the family’s joke.

The real heiress was very domineering and the fake heiress was soon despised by the family.

Many people were waiting to see the fake daughter make a fool of herself, but they realized…

The world’s top medical expert: “May I know where Miss Cheng Ling, who was kicked out of the house, is? I begged her for a long time and she finally agreed to give me a chance to meet her.”

International idol Best Actor Tang: “Miss Cheng Ling, can you sell me another grape? Just one will do. After eating your grape, my voice is getting much more beautiful.”

The famous godfather of the Mafia said, “Miss Cheng Ling, can you sell me one of your cucumbers? I was seriously injured in my early years and it’s hard for me to recover. Only your cucumbers can save me.”

Soon, everyone realized that almost all the rich and powerful families in the world had a favor to ask of the fake daughter, Cheng Ling. As long as she said a word, those rich and powerful people would be willing to do anything for her.

That was because Cheng Ling had a piece of divine soil in her hands. The fruits of vegetables grown from divine soil had all kinds of magical and powerful effects.

Third Master Qin, who was feared by all the aristocrats in the world and was rumored to be extremely cold and ruthless, pretended to be pitiful in front of Cheng Ling. “Ling Ling, my chest hurts. Come, come, come. Stay here tonight. When I take off my clothes, you can take a good look at me…”

Cheng Ling: “Stay away from me, don’t get in the way of my farming.”

Her step-sister just died three months ago. Now, she insists on marrying Chu Lui, who is supposed to be her future brother-in-law, the mind behind the Chu Enterprise. The world is sure that she, the new bride-to-be, had caused her step-sister’s death in order to seduce him.

“Wife...”“Not wife, ex-wife!!” She gritted her teeth, glaring at the handsome man who tried to please her.“Wife...”“Get lost! Turn around, walk ten meters forward, open the door, and leave, no need to see you off!” Looking at the flattering smile on his face, she finally couldn’t hold back anymore. She kicked him, then turned around, tears streaming down her face.The groom didn't show up for the wedding, yet he treated her tenderly, only to realize it was his way of humiliating her. The love she gave finally had a return when he admitted he loved her. On her most precious day, he gave her the most painful blow again. Was that unbearable scene the “gift” from him and his first love? After signing a divorce agreement, she truly felt that her marriage to him was just a joke. However, when she remarried, at the wedding, he domineeringly tore the wedding dress from her body.Facing the man she once loved the most, she smiled calmly: “Ex-husband, can you ever stop messing around?”