MTL - Pat Me Please - Chapter 81

【Host, host! I might be late, but I, the Femme Fatale Conquer System, am here to accompany you!】

【Now, let’s first conquer Momoana, a legendary female emperor who boasts looks and wits.】

Shu Yichao: “Charge, my nomads! Show them our unrivaled archery!”

And so, Momoana died.

【My host, I’ll assume what happened earlier was an accident. We have to succeed for the next one. Our next conquer target is Purin, a lofty and cold sorceress.】

Shi Yichao: “Clear the mobs and stack skeletons! I shall bring the undead calamity upon the world!”

And so, Purin died.

【…Maybe you didn’t hear me clearly, my host. I said court her, not cull her. Our next target–】

Shu Yichao: “Build the hive and spam the worms. My hive mind shall devour the world! Who can compete with me?”

【…】

Shi Yichao: “Halleluyah! I have finally gotten rid of every single one of them! Speaking of which, System, it has been a long time since you last spoke to me?”

【I’m tired. Just go and destroy everything.】

Fear breaks the boundaries between dreams and reality, and it is impossible to tell which is reality and which is illusory. When the nightmare really comes, no one can be alone.

This is both a danger and an opportunity.

- Description from novelbuddy

The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homosexual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virgin. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit suicide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virgin to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

Xia Ruofei, a retired special warfare elite, unexpectedly discovered that the ancestral scrolls contained a small space that was independent.

There are Lingtan waters that promote plant growth in the space. There are mysterious spiritual flowers that cure all diseases. They also bring ten times the time flow rate. What is planted is a fine product, everything grows fast, and what can be cultivated is spiritual…

From then on, planting flowers, planting trees, raising animals, and licking beautiful women, Xia Ruofei opened a wonderful life.

- Description from ptwxz (translated)