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... ow.”

“Hmm, you’re right… That will surely be a sight to see.” Then Marie brings her hands together in a clap. “Let’s go for another picnic after the maple trees in the mountain have turned red, Lian-sama!”

“Ooh! That’s a good idea, Marie-sama! We definitely have to have a picnic!”

“Yes! Let’s go!” She releases a giggle. “I’m looking forward to it! And I’m sure everyone will be too. We’ll have to prepare lots of sandwiches and sweets.”

“Yeah, let’s make sure that we brin ...

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A hundred thousand years ago, there was a great war between cultivators. Immortals fell by the tens of thousands, the path of cultivation itself was severed, and after the dust settled, tombs forested the world.

A hundred thousand years after the last legend faded, Lu Yun, commandant of tomb raiders, descends upon the world. Armed with the Book of Life and Death, he has some burning questions to answer.

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“This isn’t how you raid a tomb!” Lu Yun smirked at the cultivators frantically scurrying about the ancient tomb. “Do you want me to teach you?”

……

But ah, can someone teach him how to cure his new body’s erectile dysfunction?

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Ren Ran’s life was smooth sailing for the first eighteen years, but plagued by misfortune for the next eight. Her grandparents, mother, and younger brother passed away one after another. Her company was seized by her scumbag father, and she was kicked out of her home, forced to wander the streets. She would get robbed walking down the road, or have flower pots dropped on her head when she reached a building entrance. If she went to work, the company she worked for would go bankrupt.

At twenty-six, she was diagnosed with cancer and on the verge of death when she met a Taoist priest.

The Taoist said, “Your fate was meant to be fortunate, yet you have become a lonely star cursed by the heavens. This is because your fate has been replaced by another’s doing.”

Perhaps it was the mercy of the heavenly way, but she was reborn once more.

She wanted to change her family’s destiny and save their lives, but more importantly, she wanted to expose the villain behind the scenes and make them pay their bloody debts.

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“Y-young master, the Lord is requesting your presence.”

I looked at myself in the mirror as a maid's voice, laced with trepidation, reached my ears.

“Tell him I'll be there shortly.”

“I understand, y-young master.”

I paid no mind to her quivering presence, my gaze fixed on my reflection.

And this is exactly why I despise this character, Yes, He is a villain with my name but does it matter, no, the problem is this guy's weight he is so heavy that this tub of lard is weighing me down, literally.

For someone who prides themselves on muscle, nothing's worse than “fat,” and this guy before me? Well, he's a prime example of that.

“I suppose I need a workout.”

Reaching the door, exhaustion gripped me and I found myself gasping for breath. It was unbelievable – this body was so darn heavy.

After an arduous struggle, I finally made my way out of the room, causing servants carrying a litter¹ to scurry over. They lowered it, creating a path for me to step onto it.

I tried to ignore the spectacle – it was this pampering that turned this fatty into a giant tire. Pushing the annoyance aside, I began to move, managing only about 10 steps before my legs gave out.

Damn it. Seriously? I collapsed, leaving the twenty servants to hastily lift me and place me onto the litter. For me, it felt more like a stretcher. There I was, sprawled on it like some mountain, panting heavily.

“You damn god! I hope the protagonist of your favorite novel gets NTRed!”

“We're here, young master.”

Can you believe it? his father's office is just thirty steps away from this pumpkin room, yet he insists on using a litter.

“Give me a hand.”

I ordered while cursing this hefty body under my breath.

“Oh, come, come, my dear child. How was your day?”

I glanced at the middle-aged man, his face exuding warmth and care.

As for my feelings? This old man right here is the reason this chubby exists. Not that I give a darn about my indulgent father.

“I'm alright, Dad.”

Yes, imagine this: as a noble, this old man spoiled this pumpkin so much that he thinks he can go around scolding the mansion's maids and servants.

“Take a seat. Hey, fetch his chair!”

You might wonder why he doesn't sit on a regular chair. Well, that's because the chair is custom-made to accommodate this hippo-sized frame.

“What's going on, Dad?”

Seriously, why would he summon this big old hippo over to his quarters? There's gotta be a reason for it....

“Your fiancee is coming tomorrow”

……………………………………………………………

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“I’m very sorry, but we are unable to cure you.”

“W-wait! Even AIDS can be cured now, how come nymphomania can’t?”

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There was no other choice, Dan Ziwei could only return to his old job of being a quiet, peaceful gamer. Though, the games nowadays were a bit… strange…

Scenario 1: You like to shake hands with strangers.
Scenario 2: You like to hug friends.
Scenario 3: You’re a bottom.
Scenario 4: You’re a bottom.
Scenario 5: Important things should be said twice.

Dan Ziwei: … How am I meant to play a game like this?! (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

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