Peerless God of Cultivation - Chapter 301 - 301 Primordial Secret [II]

What's it like to be wrongfully killed? Cheng Su felt she'd really hit rock bottom when she was yanked out of a building by someone who jumped. Talk about a true miscarriage of justice! But when she opened her eyes again, she found herself back in the eighties, replacing the 'culprit'? In her last life, she was clear and alone, but in this life, she had a promising, dazzling military husband, as well as a cocky and domineering third child? Ugh, spit on that! She had died with cheats, so since the husband was hers, she'd beat anyone who dared to snatch him—pummel one, annihilate two. She'd make gourmet food to sell at a stall, start a chain of restaurants, and earn the money herself. She'd have the children, flirt with her husband, and fight off any mistresses; as long as her military husband doted on her, all was good. With this cheat-code life, she wanted to eat well, drink well, gain both fame and fortune, and together with her husband, make a home anew! “This story is purely fictional. Please do not take it seriously or imitate it. Any similarities are purely coincidental.”

Going back to the beginning of 2006, he became the head coach of Real Madrid. All of his men are superstars with great reputation in the world, such as Ronaldo, Zidane, Raul, Beckham, Casillas, Carlos, Ramo. Si… all of them are ruthless characters who can make the world football tremble by stomping their feet.

How can a humble rookie train these rebellious superstars?

- Description from novelbuddy

Warning: This is a rewrite of my previous fanfic— Every Hole is a Goal.Current World: Avatar: The Last Airbender***Executed for escaping his owners, Nik met a relieving fate of beheading with the circumstances of his corpse unknown yet having an honorable end of his corpse is not his greatest concern for he is given a chance at life again. Of course, this meant Nik now worked for an organization that sent individuals like him throughout the omniverse for some reason unknown to him.As they say, if for the penny, in for the pounding.Nik: Wait... I'm not a prost... ehm, rental 'helper' anymore. Do I still charge?An adventure of a lifetime, they say. One that never ends.***Note:1) I don't own any original lore.2) This is the most standard 'collection' type harem novel you will ever see, so, if this is not your taste... well, give it a shot still and see if whether the other aspects of fanfic can cover them or not.3) All the characters I write smut about will be 18+. I will make sure to tweak the fanfic a bit in that way to make sure that the story itself adapts to these circumstances.4) If tags like an orgy and incestuous relationship are not your cup of tea, then... this may not be the 'one' fanfic for you.5) If men and women of sexual 'socialness' more commonly termed as floozy and even more degenerative terms most likely known to you all is not your cup of tea, then I apologize once again, this fanfic may not be the 'one.'6) There is no ntr, but there may be netori.

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”