Phoenix Phire - Chapter 38 - Two Sudden Strikes (part One)

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

System: Want to live? Want to recover from illness? Want to change Da Zhou’s fate? You only need 998 points to redeem a package guaranteed to cure all diseases and strengthen the body! You don’t need 2400 points, also don’t need 1200 points only 998 points. You won’t suffer losses or be fooled! Welcome to the system of the king of the dead…..

Ji Jinrong: This name does not sound very auspicious

System: Don’t pay attention to these details /(ToT)/ ~~

Ji Jinrong killed all his brothers. At the age of thirteen, he dragged his sick body to the throne and worked conscientiously as a puppet emperor in the hands of the courtiers and eunuchs. Everyone says that the great general Wei Tingjun has wild ambitions, and is intentionally revolting however, Ji Jinrong felt that Wei Tingjun was not staring at the throne but at him, who was sat on the throne!

Ji Jinrong carefully tempted: “If I die you can be the emperor.”

Wei Tingjun: “You dare die, I’ll have everyone buried with you!”

Ji Jinrong: “…..”

See, it wasn’t his misconception.

So even if it was to just tie the head of the wolf, he (JYR) won’t die easily.

Ji Jinrong: It’s getting cold, its time to ruin the country. I (imperial) have to go back and look for (tie) the great general!

- Description from Novelupdates

'Dregs' reborn, aiming for a harmonious marriage, children gathered around the knees, and to beat up the scumbags and promiscuous women!The timid and unlucky her, turned life into a sigh, also causing that person and her children to become tragic figures.Reborn, she wants to engrave strength into her bones!Disasters one after another, difficult to fill the belly?No fear, with our Plant Ability in hand, seeds can turn into rice ears in minutes, and white rice and flour can be made at will!Ungrateful brats?Hmph, the education starts from the womb, determined to make them keep gratitude in their hearts.High-class women unable to give birth want to steal our children?Hehe, the woman rolled up her sleeves and sneered: Those not afraid to die, come and fight!Loyal dog: Wife, how can dirty work like fighting soil your hands? Leave it to me!Little radishes one, two, three, four, five, six all lift sticks: We are here too, we are here too, Mom, we brothers are all on the same vine with you!

Mortal cultivation, resurgence.

Time and space shuttle, reversal of reincarnation.
Jinxian Taiyi, Da Luo Daozu.
Three thousand avenues, the law of supreme.

“Faculty of Immortal Immortal” is a fairy tale, a story of Han Lizhen’s fairyland, a legend of a mortal kid who cultivates immortals.

- Description from Ptwxz translation