Planet Pulverizer: A Mortal's Ascent - Chapter 586: Investigate

Look, I’m Riven Kael.Twenty-eight, data analyst, zero ambition beyond paying rent and avoiding small talk. My life was spreadsheets, instant ramen, and the occasional ghost I pretended not to see.Then one mandatory company gala, because of course it was mandatory, turned into the universe’s worst prank.I touched a cursed amulet.I just touched it.Next thing I know, I’m waking up in a penthouse that costs more than my entire bloodline, sporting a glowing marriage sigil on my wrist, legally and magically hitched to Azryth Valek.Yes, that Azryth Valek.The CEO of half the planet, a walking sin in a three-piece suit, an ancient demon lord who was literally sealed inside said amulet until I accidentally set him free.He says we’re bound. Separation means both of us die slowly and painfully.Soul-consumption optional but very much on the table if I’m stupid enough to fall for him. Which, newsflash, I am not. I’m not.Shut up.So now I’m living with an unfortunately hot CEO from hell, dodging assassination attempts disguised as corporate mergers, banishing spirits that show up at my desk like unpaid interns, and pretending we’re a power couple for the cameras while he smirks like he knows exactly how much I want to strangle him. Or kiss him. Or both.Brain, we are not doing this.I didn’t sign up for boardroom battles, multiversal rifts, or the terrifying realization that the arrogant demon who ruined my life might be the only one who truly sees me.But here I am. Still complaining, still fighting, still falling, against every shred of common sense, hopelessly, stupidly, irrevocably in love.Because when the universe marries you to the devil, it doesn’t ask for consent.It just hands you the ring.And damn it, I’m keeping it.

In the spring of year 6823 of the New Calendar, Lu Xuan, an unregistered resident of the Federation, hid outside a high school classroom and secretly learned a Cultivation Skill, embarking on the path of Cultivation.On the same day, he returned home and had a dream, just as he always did. In the dream, he was in the Guardian Storage Room during the Spring and Autumn Period in Chinese history（770-481 BCE）, and the current Keeper of the Records was named Li Er, also known as Laozi.Later, Lu Xuan dreamed that he became the succeeding Keeper of the Records, became Confucius's second teacher, became the senior brother of Zhang Daoling, the Ancestral Celestial Master, and became the honorary father of the First Emperor...Even later, someone unearthed a roll of bamboo slips from the ground, on which an event was recorded.[The eighteenth Keeper of the Records, Lu Xuan, his Sword Qi like a waterfall, assassinated Duke Huan of Qi in his bedchamber]

All Pete wanted was to be buried in wine grapes. Was that too much to ask?Now he's in a fantasy world, far from home, and stuck underground in the body of a smelly dwarf with fantastic facial hair. The worst part though? The swill that the dwarves are falling all over themselves to drink. Its flat, it's watery, and it has the alcohol content of a rancid coconut. Can Pete save the dwarves from their own Sour fate, or will he be forever doomed to plink his pickaxe away in hopes that he hits the mother lode. Come for the cozy fantasy, stay for the beer puns that will leave you hop-ping mad! A bubbly slice of life LitRPG with love, laughter, and a little melancholy, just like drinking a bottle of Whitbier on the beach. Has some monster fights but no real gore. No elves or harems allowed.