Returnee’s Life Report - Chapter 41

Eren Idril died as an old, decrepit, and piss-poor adventurer by the maws of a D-Rank monster. He had a lot of unfulfilled dreams and desires that couldn't see the light of the day after the light in his own eyes died down.

But fortunately for him and unfortunately for the world, that wasn't his end. Eren was somehow dived back in time when he was a mere teen, attending Lionheart Academy for adventurers.

When life gives him a second chance, Eren decides to exploit it to its fullest. Experience his vile deeds as he partakes in them without feeling the slightest bit of hesitation.

In 2121, a terrible pollution disease swept through the world.

“We call it distortion, but perhaps, the history records of later generations will call it an evolution.”

The world experienced involution.

Today, that person’s head split into two. Tomorrow, that flower would grow fangs. The day after that, that fish would climb ashore with its legs…

Lu Yan: And I am merely a mediocre doctor who treats the pollution disease.

*

Patient A: When I first grew 18 tentacles, I was having a great time eating [beep—] by the seaside. As soon as Dr. Lu came, he cut 17 of them for me. He’s really a brilliant doctor!2

Patient B: I am a poisonous mushroom. My spores are highly toxic and can be parasitic. I gave birth to hundreds of thousands of microspores, which made it worse for my already poor family. Dr. Lu helped me practice family planning when he came. This great kindness will forever be remembered!

Patient C: I have eight mouths. I was a picky eater and only ate meat, so I set up a slaughterhouse for this purpose. But then, Dr. Lu cured my picky eating. This woman of faith is willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of her life in exchange for Dr. Lu’s happiness and well-being in this life.

Lu Yan, the top of the food chain, the eternal god.

- Description from Novelupdates

Confession school belle rejected? Reward the five thunders to rectify the law!

Confession of the devil’s beautiful tutor was rejected? Reward the Golden Light Curse!

Confession of the Wan Yao Queen was rejected? Reward Eight Wonders……

The confession was rejected, and was regarded by everyone as a negative example of not thinking about cultivation and indulging in personal relationships with children.

It wasn’t until he was rejected a hundred times that everyone realized that Lin Feng was invincible!

- Description from novelbuddy

[More funny than happy + metaphysics slap in the face + entertainment circle + 1v1 Shuangjie]

The doomsday boss of Taoism caught up with the last train to wear books and became a fake daughter of abusive literature. At the beginning, she avoided all kinds of people with evil intentions, but learned that she was a last-class citizen and would be repatriated by the empire at any time?

Qu Jian’er can only resume her old career and open the door to a new world. The left hand grasps variety shows and acting (earning small money), and the right hand scientifically preaches and solves doubts (earning big money).

Next to her booth, there is often a holographic projection super-large loudspeaker, which plays in a 360° loop without dead ends:

10% off life-saving emblem,

More cost-effective recharge discounts;

Buy one get one free on the Pure Heart and Tranquility Talisman,

New customers sell and buy instant discount of 3 yuan.

There are also evil obstacle purifiers, aura locators, resentment detectors, soul body translators, mecha blessing cards… waiting for you to snap up!

When she became a hot search again, most people ridiculed and sneered.

Top-ranking directors, well-known film stars, big traffic stars, business crocodiles, wealthy presidents, and empire bosses all came here admiringly: “Boss, help!”

There is a gentleman in the capital of the main star of the empire. It is rumored that he is very wise and close to demons, moody, insidious, cunning, and ascetic.

One day, this master confessed under the camera of the All-Star Live broadcast: “I checked today’s calendar, except for loving you~ all things, no, appropriate.”

Since then, the silence of most people has been “deafening”.

- Description from novelbuddy