Splitting the Heavens - Chapter 1258: The Juiciest of News

A hundred thousand years ago, there was a great war between cultivators. Immortals fell by the tens of thousands, the path of cultivation itself was severed, and after the dust settled, tombs forested the world.

A hundred thousand years after the last legend faded, Lu Yun, commandant of tomb raiders, descends upon the world. Armed with the Book of Life and Death, he has some burning questions to answer.

……

“This isn’t how you raid a tomb!” Lu Yun smirked at the cultivators frantically scurrying about the ancient tomb. “Do you want me to teach you?”

……

But ah, can someone teach him how to cure his new body’s erectile dysfunction?

Sakimori Kagami plays a VRMMORPG called Arch Earth Online. He is a veteran player with the name and appearance similar to an elderly bearded wizard from a certain book about a ring.

One day he purchases an appearance change item as a last resort to spend expiring currency and gets the idea of choosing what he would want to look like if his character was ever a girl.

Falling asleep should have suspended the game, but Kagami wakes up still online and feels the game has has gotten a bit more realistic. Did Arch Earth Online finally get a long-awaited update?

Akira, was born in the slum and wishes to get out but the only way he could was to risk his life in these ruins as a hunter.

It was the twenty-third year of Tianxi*. Rumours traversed the streets that the all-knowing Imperial Advisor suffered a great calamity and could not help but enter seclusion to focus on cultivation. However, the commoners secretly clapped their hands and rejoiced. In the winter of the same year, a young monk appeared in the Hui Zhou Fu’s Ningyang District.

The monk’s monastic title was Xuan Min, his memories all missing, yet was versed in the arts of Feng Shui Kan Yu**. On the very first day arriving in Ningyang, he did not hesitate to take care of a dangerous manor, picking up Xue Xian, who was hidden there, along the way.

Since then, Xue Xian – who had been all-powerful in the first half of his life – gained a new life pursuit: to get this baldy*** who had only a good outer appearance to take his last breath and “smile from his grave”.

Xue Xian: If you are unhappy, then I will be happy. If you die, I’ll laugh my ass off.

Xuan Min: …

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