Takarakuji de 40-oku Atattandakedo Isekai ni Ijuu Suru - Chapter 34

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

Shao Qing’s only regret in life is that she blindly fell in love with a worthless man. She gave up everything for him, but in exchange was run over by his conniving mistress when she was close to her delivery date. Fortunately, Heaven left her a way. Crimson rain fell from the sky, the end of the world arrived, she resurrected in the morgue and gave birth to a little monster. Turning into a half human, half zombie freak; her son neither human, nor monster; they have no other choice but to rely on zombies’ crystal nuclei to develop their special abilities and continue living. This debt, she’ll definitely repay that cheating couple!

- Description from Novelupdates

An unnamed scout, sacrificed on the battlefield of the Southern Border, is miraculously reborn in an alternate universe. Unexpectedly, he becomes a shaman of the Orc Kingdom, even more, a rare Dragon Shaman that appears once in a millennium. What's more, he is cursed with the Blood Sacrifice of the vilest magic pet!What lies behind this curse?A charming beauty of the Fox Tribe, a Mermaid Princess from the Abyss Kingdom, a mysterious Clam Girl from the East, a Swan Warrior maiden, who is the very embodiment of an angel, all these arrive at his side one by one.Mysterious Panda Warriors from the Eastern Panta Clan, powerful Elephant Warriors of the Orephin Clan, the invincible Whale Knights of the Banilou Tribe, from the deep sea, to the formidable warriors of Summer Palace will follow our protagonist on the stage of a grand war, carving their own path to glory.Witness how our protagonist confronts his new identity, challenges the formidable human magic and invincible legions with the heroic Orc war-song. Witness how our protagonist take on the identity of the Double Dragon Shaman to defeat the Dragon Knights, leading the Bimon warriors, whose brilliance is gradually fading, and penning a saga of zero mortality amidst the battle with foreign invaders!