The Beauties Help Me Become the No.1 Official - Chapter 111 Unforgettable Birthday Gift

Bad news: Xu Yanmiao traveled back to ancient times, but he himself is lazy and uninterested in anything but internet cybersecurity, which is useless in ancient times.Good news: He’s bound to a system.Bad news: The system is called the Gossip System, not the fortune-telling kind, but the kind that contains other people’s private information and scandals. Utterly useless.More bad news: This system is also glitchy, and the extent of the bugs is unknown.Even more bad news: This body is that of a minor official who can attend court meetings, while Xu, the time traveler… doesn’t understand the classics, can’t write with a brush, and is at risk of being exposed for cheating in the imperial exams.Xu Yanmiao: “…”Forget it, just lie low, wait to die, maybe dying quickly could lead to another time travel.…In the court, the emperor was furious about state affairs, and the courtiers trembled in fear.Xu Yanmiao pretended to listen attentively but was actually focused on browsing the Gossip System.[Wow, the emperor just took in a 16-year-old noblewoman yesterday! A beautiful addition! He’s getting stronger with age! And he was tossing and turning in bed all night but still has such a powerful voice now! Amazing!] [This noblewoman used to be the crown prince’s concubine! And the crown prince even knows how to write passionate love letters!] [Wow wow wow! The crown prince sneaked into the grandpa’s harem… hiss—got intimate while the old emperor was attending court! Do it quickly! Why isn’t there any video…] [Huh? Why is there no sound?]Xu Yanmiao cautiously raised his head and glanced around.[What happened? Why is everyone kneeling? Where’s the emperor?]—The emperor went to catch adultery in the harem.The “imperial exam cheating” bomb finally exploded.Xu Yanmiao couldn’t explain why his handwriting on the exam paper didn’t match his usual handwriting, nor could he answer why he didn’t understand the classics.The evidence prepared by the ousted crown prince of the emperor hit the nail on the head, and his personal bodyguard was ready to drag Xu Yanmiao away to the prison, awaiting execution in the autumn.Xu Yanmiao held onto the gossip that proved his innocence but was in a quandary:How do I explain the source of my information…[Say that I secretly met with the Chief Examiner, the Minister of Rites, three nights before the exam? Impossible, that night, the Minister of Rites was dressed as a woman, spent the night at the General’s Mansion, with the general…]The general’s body shook, and he interjected: “Your Majesty!!!!”“Although the evidence of exam cheating is solid, I believe there’s still something fishy about this. It should be re-investigated! Especially Xu… Xu… Xu Yanmiao’s attire is neat and tidy! Someone who cares so much about their appearance, how could they tarnish their reputation!”The crown prince, who couldn’t hear his thoughts: ??[Also, what’s with saying that the examiner faking yawning and tiredness was intentionally leaving me a gap for cheating? He spent the night before the exam in the pigsty without sleeping, how could he not be tired the next day? But, surprisingly, the Imperial Academy lecturer actually believed in pig’s milk…]The Imperial Academy lecturer’s face went pale, and he burst out: “Your Majesty!!!!”“I… I agree with the General’s words! How could Xu Lang cheat in the exam! He… he… he deliberately drank a glass of pure water before the exam, believing that only good-hearted people can use pure things, such a kind-hearted person, how could he cheat in the exam!”Thinking he had everything under control, the crown prince: ??Xu Yanmiao was deeply moved.[They’re all good people, even if their brains don’t work well, they’re trying their best to find reasons and excuses for me.] [But I really have no way to turn the tables, alas, it’s a pity that I haven’t finished watching the TV series I’ve been following. The old emperor angered the empress last night and got kicked out of the bedchamber, and now I’m going to die before seeing the ending. He seems to be planning to paint his face with ink and pretend to be a cat to cheer up the empress…]“Bang—”The old emperor slammed the table, forcibly interrupting the continuous stream of thoughts: “I believe Xu Yanmiao did not cheat in the exam! Release him, innocent!”The civil and military officials couldn’t wait to echo, fearing that if they were too slow, Xu Yanmiao might spill more gossip.“Yes yes yes! Release him innocent!”“Long live Your Majesty!”“Your Majesty, please end the court session! Let Xu Lang go home and rest! You’ve tired him out by making him stand for so long!”The crown prince: ??Did Xu Yanmiao drug them with hallucinogens or something?

“If you intended to die anyway, don't die quietly like a pussy! Go out in a fucking blaze of glory!”That was the statement that changed my world forever.I was a loser in life. I died and got reincarnated into a Revenant. Revenants were people who defended the living from the dead. In exchange for a second life, they had one task and were blessed with one cheat ability.The task? To kick as much zombie ass as possible.Unfortunately, my cheat just made me “Rewind”. It didn't give me super strength, speed or the ability to fly. Hell, it didn't even give me a way to fight!Without any way to kill zombies, I nearly died on my first day on the job! Back then I remember crying and puking all over the place like a little bitch.But while I started out like a little bitch, I didn't stay one.Dying full of regrets changed me you see. So much so that I made a promise.I refused to repeat my mistakes when I was human. Reborn as a Revenant, I will never bow down to anyone ever again.Unfortunately, these Revenant bastards were old school. Like they hacked zombies with swords and all that crap old school. As a man born in the USA, I saw no reason why I needed to follow their outdated way of thinking.The modern world had the superpower of gun powder and lead. So instead of swords, I came after every zombie I saw with guns. Like countries in the middle east, I proceeded to blow the motherfuckers to kingdom come.And surprisingly because of “Rewind”, I found out I could never run out of ammunition.$200 for each kill. Hefty bonus for each area of hell liberated.What scared normal people shitless suddenly allowed me to earn millions every day. The richer I got the more “Freedom” I could unleash! Mortars, tank, air strikes to even nukes. Backed by modern science and technology, I slowly but surely drove the undead back.Along the way, I met and saved seven heavenly beauties. And all of them fell in love with me.They were a little obsessive, scratch that, they were all fucking insane. My precious harem was comprised of nothing but Yanderes in every sense of the word. Still, I would willingly burn the entire world for just one of them.For when I called, only my battle harem answered.And that was even before I learned of another secret.Exchanging bodily fluids with my girls gave me their cheats. Suddenly, in contrast to every Revenant in the world who only had one, I alone wielded eight. One from each girl plus my own.And so unfolded my 2nd life.Which eventually became my legend.Who am I you ask?I was born as John Smith.But these days not even my girls use that name.Both on Earth and in Hell everyone else just calls me Limitless.And I am the Strongest Revenant.

“Why is the thing you summon always so strange, can’t it be a little more normal?”

Lu Yu looked helplessly at the guy who was waving his tentacles in front of him.

“Who made me look up to see you every day…”

- Description from novelbuddy

I became the wife of a man with a lover. Well then, I guess I have to protect his chastity?

“You can sleep on the floor then.”

“What?” His eyes said he didn’t want to.

Well, yeah. The floor was hard. Then it couldn’t be helped.

“I’ll just hold your hand and sleep. You trust me, right?”

But, how come the bed broke on my first night with my husband?

*

Aristine, a princess confined out of the Emperor’s sight.

When in reality, she was the owner of the [Monarch’s Sight], able to see the future, past, and present.

She, who became the sacrifice for a political marriage, was married off to a terrifying barbarian…

“The most precious things should naturally be given to my bride.”

But her husband, whose monstrosity she prepared for, was way too normal.

However, he belonged to someone else.

‘I’ll go make money then.’

She might as well make the goldfields her own.

*

Can Aristine really achieve her dream of living freely on a pile of money?

Or will she end up killing two birds with one stone?