PREVIEW

... the air this morning: President Lallinstien will unexpectedly address the nation in a few short minutes.

While we don't know for sure what our President will be speaking about, the announcement came as a surprise, and according to our sources in the Presidential Manor, we believe it may have something to do with changes in the Incident during this year's Competition Award Ceremony." An average Caucasian middle-aged news anchor stated while sitting at a typical news desk.

"Fucker ...

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