Transcendent Odyssey [Coffeepen] - Chapter 47: DIVINE DISMEMBERMENT

Meili is a once-in-a-generation beauty raised in secrecy in the inner courtyards. To keep her safe from the palace concubine selections, her family conspires to make everyone, including her, believe that she's ugly. The secret's revealed when 3 peeping Tom’s get more than they bargained for spying on the 'ugly sister' bathing.The perverts are best friends, a young commander, the second prince, and an admired poet, and the 3 young men compete fiercely for her affections. As Meili emerges from 16 years in seclusion, her deeply rooted body dysmorphia has hilarious consequences as she misreads her interactions with men and proves to be a far more complex puzzle to woo than any of them are equipped for.A cdrama romcom where a young girl is a glittering prize trying her hardest not to be won.[#teen #lovequadrangle #historicalromance #romcom #chinesedrama #sweetromance]EXTRACT: Meili slipped out of her robe and sat on a ledge in the warm pool. Her long black hair cascaded down her back, tiny silver bells tinkled as she moved.It felt wonderful to be free of her chest binding. It was starting to get quite painful. She didn't dare stop wearing it in case it encouraged her already disconcertingly large breasts to keep expanding.It was onto this scene that the Commander, the Prince and the poet happened, as they soundlessly raised their heads above the peaked roofline. For a full minute not one of them moved or breathed.Her long hair covered her generous curves, allowing tantalising glimpses. She reached behind her neck to push back her hair.Commander Bai, realising what was about to happen, clamped each of his hands firmly over the eyes of the Prince and Tan Bowen. A fight broke out on the ridge-line as the men clawed and scratched in a panicked attempt to see what came next.Meili looked up in fright, just as the commander forcefully pushed his two friends, sliding them down the steep rooftop.For just a split second, the eyes of Commander Bai and Meili met.

Jiang Dao died extremely heroically in the apocalyptic world war. He never thought that he would have a chance to open his eyes again.

He traveled through, into a danmei book he had read, and became a vicious villain in the book.

Jiang Dao thought to himself: “After more than ten years of fighting for my life in the last days, I’m tired, so what am I fighting for? It’s better to be a vase. Use my face to finish the brokerage contract, and then find a corner in the world with beautiful scenery and live a peaceful life of growing vegetables, cooking, and raising cats and dogs…”

So, he returned the role that the original owner had snatched from the protagonist shou on the spot.

Unexpectedly, in the variety show that started shooting the next day, Jiang Dao performed a shoulder toss and threw the current number one kung fu actor, Chu Yinlong, to the ground.

Chu Yinlong: Boy, you have successfully caught my attention. My new movie, the villain, can fight, you come.

Jiang Dao: …Sorry, I’m just a vase.

————

In a later interview.

A reporter asked Chu Yinlong: “How would you rate your perfect partner, Mr. Jiang Dao?”

Chu Yinlong replied: “A vase.”

Reporter: “How can a kung fu superstar as famous as him be a vase?”

Chu Yinlong: “Diamond vase. Precious, beautiful, hard enough.”

- Description from Novelupdates

“Just once, I want to make it through the first stage of screening…”

Interview (YGZ – Father, ZZ – Mother, ZW – Son)

1. What is something you carry everywhere with you?

YGZ: A gun.

ZZ: I prefer being indoors, specifically inside a lab.

ZW: Anything that has access to the internet.

2. What is your favorite hobby?

YGZ: Shooting.

ZZ: Experimenting.

ZW: Hacking.

3. What is your worst fear?

YGZ: My wife’s cooking.

ZZ: My lab burning.

ZW: No access to the internet.

4. What is your spirit animal and why?

YGZ: A Bigfoot – has hands to hold a gun.

ZZ: An eagle – has good vision, useful for observing.

ZW: A Spider – can spin a web.

5. What is your biggest regret?

YGZ: Letting my wife escape after our first night.

ZZ: My son being a genius. I chose YGZ to be the father of my child because I thought he was a limbo.

ZW: Not reuniting my parents sooner.