Wedding Impossible - Chapter 6

It was just like any other day, or so I thought at least. The birds were chirping up on trees, clouds were rolling by the bright blue sky and Elves were dumpster diving in the alleyway.

Okay, one of those three didn’t sound right...

I had a boring life once. Recently though, it has become less boring... to put it one way.

Finding a random Elf in the dumpster? Heh, must be a Monday.

A normal person would have walked by. A normal person would have ignored it.

I must be a pretty weird guy, then.

Now I have this Elf swearing her allegiance to me. What’s next, vampires?

In the Central 46 Compound, the Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13 and the notorious scourge of the Female Shinigami Association, Masatsuki Aozaki, stood before the Sages and Judges.“You have improper relationships with numerous members, Seated Officers, and Captains of the Seireitei?”“As Captain-Commander, maintaining close relationships with them helps facilitate my work.”“...”The Judge narrowed his eyes. “Then how do you explain modifying the female Shinigami's Shihakushō into miniskirts?”“To transform the Seireitei into a perfect paradise.”“Tsk tsk… A paradise for all Shinigami? That’s not entirely unreasonable…”“No, a personal paradise.”“A private—wait! Captain-Commander Masatsuki, that kind of thinking is clearly wrong!”“Do you want to die?”“...”“Forget it, Captain-Commander Masatsuki. We’ll set this matter aside for now. Let’s discuss some of the outrageous statements you’ve made in the past. Those were jokes, right?”“No, I was completely serious.”Masatsuki calmly ran his hand along the hilt of his Zanpakutō and spoke with conviction. “I have a great relationship with my subordinates, I get along well with Hueco Mundo, and I’m even friends with all of your wives and girlfriends. But rest assured, I’m a good Shinigami. You can safely leave the world in my hands!”Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto: That damn brat! Shunsui, Jūshirō, don’t stop me—I need to teach him a lesson!Thus begins the tale of the most incorrigible Shinigami!

“Nine Heavens cast down the Undying Tree, from the tomb the Immortal's bones were fetched;Taoist Venerable tut-tutted as they drank blood plasma, Old Buddha relished in the chew of meat;Beasts and livestock rang the Dharma Drum, city foxes and hole-dwelling rats boiled in the pot;In the Immortality Wine, the resentful spirits were fishy, at the Killing Banquet, the Dao Fruit was bitter!”In this world where Daoist Skill manifested, countless Sect Cultivators, Side Door Magicians, princes and scholars, officials of high rank and nobles all coveted immortality!Owl God Tomb, stealing heavenly secrets, Pearl Gathering Skill, Holy Infant Pill, bone effigies, Yin God Shrine, human-transformed monsters, Undying Elixir, Red Line Poison, Blood Immortal insects, Mermaid Meat, gold-threaded robes, Five Poisons Primordial Spirit, Seven Star Life Extension...They killed and harmed life only to steal the “Killing Dao Fruit” borne upon that Undying Tree!Until... a sly “Fishing Man” came to this world.Wang Yuan, born with the Small Book of Life and Death, had but a simple and unadorned dream:Amid bustling strings and smoky vistas, on a night bathed in moonlight, in peace and quiet did I lean on the rail, savoring the wind, toasting to the stars.With his “Bride in bridal clothes,” watching the sunrise at Taishan in the morning, admiring Qionghua in Luoyang at noon, and drinking under the aurora by the North Sea in the evening.“But you all smell so incredibly fragrant!No more, none shall escape, for today I shall crowdfund Cultivating Immortality! Please... my treasure, turn around!”The blood-red veil of the Bride abruptly fluttered to the ground.

Lin Momo hasn’t had a father or a mother since she was very young and lives with the grandmother who picked her up after being thrown away. One day, a person claiming to be an agent approached her and asked her to pretend to be the daughter of a certain star and participate in the recording of a reality show, and she would be given 20,000 yuan after the filming was completed.

Looking at her poor family, Lin Momo thought for 2 seconds and agreed.

This reality show is called ‘Living with Dad’. Dad takes the baby and randomly draws a family background to experience a different life every week.

The night before the recording of the program, Lin Momo had a dream that after the program was broadcast, only the team of the former singer—Lin Cheng—had bad reviews: the daughter is not cute; the father has no fatherly love; and the father and daughter have no communication at all during the whole process.

The audience pointed out: ‘He doesn’t know how to take care of a baby at all’; ‘It’s really embarrassing’; ‘There is no sense of presence’, ‘I hate this pair the most’; ‘It’s not good-looking at all, I suggest you go offline’ and so on…

Later, more black material popped up, Lin Cheng’s career and reputation collapsed completely, and Lin Momo’s 20,000 yuan was also lost. She was forcibly sent to an orphanage with the ‘help’ of Internet celebrities and caring people.

In order to keep her 20,000 yuan, Lin Momo was determined to perform well.

However, the father-daughter combination of Lin Momo and Lin Cheng still became the contrast team and the audience reaction is palpably different:

Other teams: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so cute!
Contrast team: Hey, my daughter is so sensible.

Other teams: It’s great to be a star.
Contrast team: The life of outdated stars is so miserable.

Other teams: This is a parent-child interactive program.
Contrast team: This turned out to be a survival show?!

Other teams: Dad, come on, raise your children.
Contrast team who drew the [Unemployed Families] card: Daughter, come on and support Dad!

Lin Momo: “I have to work hard to make money, otherwise my father will starve to death.”

Lin Cheng: “I have to work hard to make money, otherwise I will have to take my daughter back to inherit tens of billions of property.”

——————

Lin Cheng, who hasn’t ‘appeared’ for half a year, received a call from his agent and was given a contract.

Lin Cheng: “Appearance fee?”

Agent: “None.” The appearance fee is 100,000 yuan, but the backer was invited to dinner for 300,000 yuan, so the remainder is negative.

Lin Cheng: “Script?”

Manager: “None.” The program team didn’t have time to write one.

Lin Cheng: “Draw lots?”

Agent: “Still no.” As the contrast team, there is no right to choose the family background.

Lin Cheng: “Is there a child?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Looking at the ‘fake’ child who looked too much like him, Lin Cheng had a weird feeling.

- Description from Novelupdates