Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food - Chapter 65 - Papaya Flavored Senior Brother Gong (3): Lord Gou + Big papaya + bed = ♂

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Chapter 65 - Papaya Flavored Senior Brother Gong (3): Lord Gou + Big papaya + bed = ♂

Translator: KunLin

Editors: Vez, Blarghette

The hooves of the horses kicked up the dirt on the flat roads of the outskirts.

The sounds of hooves resounded between the low hills and a sorry-looking figure was faintly visible amidst the dust cloud. The person ahead suddenly pulled at the reins and turned back as if to retrieve a lost item.

The horse that was abruptly abandoned by Gou Liang was at a loss. It circled in one place and when it saw the white horse heading towards them, it happily ran towards it. Yue Qian hopped off his horse and Gou Liang gave him a lazy look. Yue Qian felt that he was mistaken, but for a moment Gou Liang’s expression was identical to the one on the chestnut horse when it greeted his white horse.

He lowered his head and coughed. With a warm smile, he asked, “Brother Ye, why did you stop?”

“Should I continue following behind you and inhale dust?”

Laughing coldly, Gou Liang grabbed the fan hanging by Yue Qian’s waist and used it to brush the dust off himself.

“Hero Yue is quite ill-tempered. I even helped you out last night without expecting anything in return, so what are you upset about?”

Yue Qian became even more embarrassed.

They never found Yue Qian’s clothes in the end and their luggage was all at the foot of the mountain. Yue Qian couldn’t walk down the mountain naked, so Gou Liang had lent him his skirt. Having no other options, Yue Qian wore it, but Gou Liang wouldn’t stop teasing him the entire way down, saying things like how his butt cheeks were paler than a girl’s. He was only allowed to return the skirt after he had washed it and dried it with internal energy. At the end, Gou Liang even asked him, “Hero Yue, did it feel breezy?”

With Yue Qian’s black history in hand, Gou Liang teased him about it whenever he could.

If Gou Liang wasn’t needed as bait, Yue Qian would have tossed him into the wilderness and fed him to the mosquitoes yesterday.

But when he saw how he was, Yue Qian felt a bit of guilt. Although Gou Liang had a cheap mouth, he didn’t mean any harm.

When he was about to cave and make amends, three horses rounded the curve of the road and whizzed past them.

Yue Qian swiftly evaded with Gou Liang, but the last person in the race, who possessed poor horsemanship but a furious zeal to win, took a shortcut and passed by their left. His horse stomped into a mud pit and mud splashed onto Yue Qian despite dodging.

Yue Qian pursed his lips and met eyes with Gou Liang who had the same expression.

Before Gou Liang could pick up his embroidery needles, the horse in front of them suddenly let out a neigh. The rider was thrown off of it and fell to the ground with a scream.

“Junior Brother!!”

“Junior Brother Tang!”

The two people up ahead were alarmed and veered their horses back.

Before they arrived, Yue Qian had already brought Gou Liang over to help the person writhing and yelling in pain. He asked considerately, “This brother, are you alright?”

“Damn that hurts…”

“Junior Brother, how are you?”

“Junior Brother Tang, are you badly hurt anywhere?”

He Cong and Zhu Fengyi hastily dismounted from their horses.

Tang Nuo pressed his lips together to hold back tears. He rubbed his aching buttocks and sniffled, “I’m fine.”

“I told you that you shouldn’t rush the horse, but you just had to compete. If any part of you is broken, Shi Niang will have my skin.” He Cong chided him and turned around to thank Yue Qian. “This brother and Miss, thank you for just now. Strangers meeting on the road is an occurrence of fate, how may I address the both of you?”

Yue Qian calmly accepted his bow like he had forgotten he was the one who had hit Tang Nuo’s horse and caused it to lose control.

“There’s no need to be courteous.” His smile was flawless. “If I may ask, are you the head disciple of the Nine Underworld Tower, Senior He Cong, the son of the Nine Underworld Tower’s Sect Master, Junior Brother Tang Nuo, and the head disciple of Fan Yin Pavilion, Senior Zhu Fengyi?”

“We are!”

He Cong thought he looked familiar but couldn’t remember who he was. He hurriedly asked, “And brother you are?”

Yue Qian smiled, “Yue Qian of the Southern Sword Sect. Greetings to both seniors.”

The five major sects of the righteous path had always been on good terms with each other, and when they had Bao Shi as a common enemy, they became even more intimate and addressed each other as “Senior” or “Junior” brothers. Yue Qian, He Cong, and Zhu Fengyi were all head disciples with similar status, but since Yue Qian was the youngest, he called them “Seniors”.

Zhu Fengyi was pleasantly surprised, “So it’s Junior Brother Yue! The last time I saw you was five years ago on the platform of the Martial Arts Conference! To think we’d meet like this today.”

He Cong chimed in, “Junior Brother Yue, have you been well?”

Gou Liang sniggered to himself. His intuition was right after all. What “gentleman” that was upright like jade? He was just a fraud with black sesame fillings inside! ( ﹁ ﹁ )

Tang Nuo didn’t want to feel left out, “So you are the Peerless Yue that my Dad speaks of? Is it really true that you defeated my Senior Brother when you were only fourteen?”

The defeated Senior Brother: …

His life was so tiring with a Junior Brother who knew nothing of tact.

Yue Qian smiled, “Junior Brother Tang can just call me Senior.”

Tang Nuo was unhappy, “But you are younger than me. They all call you Peerless Bro, so why can’t I call you that as well?”

Yue Qian: “…”

Zhu Fengyi turned his head before smiling out of respect, but he accidentally crossed paths with Gou Liang. He cupped his fists and said, “Miss, I was rude, may I ask for your name?”

Gou Liang didn’t reply but Yue Qian answered in his stead, “This is Ye Gui. Miss Ye is my friend.”

Before they had set out that morning, Gou Liang told him that his enemies comprised more than just the Left Guardian. It would be troublesome if he didn’t disguise himself, so he asked Yue Quan to help him keep up the guise.

Yue Qian harbored some doubts but he agreed in the end after discovering it seemed to be a common practice for Gou Liang.

Gou Liang had his reasons for doing this. The people who coveted his position as Lord of the Demonic Cult were far more than a measly Left Guardian. If the people in the Demonic Cult learned that he had lost his cultivation, he would be devoured without a single bone remaining. Moreover, who would he cry to if he accidentally revealed his identity and the Target-Dada with -100 favorability value smote him with his sword?

Fortunately, he had the opportunity last night to let Yue Qian know he was a man which saved him a great deal of headaches. He didn’t want Yue Qian to fall for him, but only love him as a “woman”.

Gou Liang lowered the fan covering his face. The beautiful face gave the three a shock and stunned them.

Gou Liang was satisfied with the attack power of his face. He closed the fan and tapped on Yue Qian’s shoulder. “Let’s find another place to talk.”

Catching up underneath the scorching sun was not his thing.

After they moved to a spot under the shade, Yue Qian asked, “You seemed to be in a rush, do the two seniors have something urgent at hand?”

He Cong replied as the oldest of the group, “Right, our Master ordered Junior Brother Zhu and I to head towards the East Sea to escort Elder Jiang and his grandchild to the Martial Arts Conference.”

Yue Qian was puzzled.

The Martial Arts Conference was held by the five major sects every five years and its purpose was to test the strength of young disciples to gauge a sect’s future potential. Although theoretically all heroes were welcomed, only the disciples under thirty participated. The Martial Arts Conference also happened to be an important factor that determined the Ranking of Heroes.

As far as Yue Qian knew, there was no one of suitable age from the Jiang Clan that could participate in the conference.

Zhu Fengyi explained, “When Elder Jiang’s son was killed by the Demonic Cult three years ago, he left behind a daughter. Miss Jiang has now reached marriageable age, so Elder Jiang intends to pick a spouse for her.”

“Junior Brother Yue, as you know, the Martial Arts Conference is being held in two months. It is a place where heroes will gather, and it will be a good opportunity to choose a partner for Miss Jiang. When the elder wrote to my Master, he said if he passed away, he worried about his granddaughter’s safety if she was left to safe keep the Jiang Clan’s secret art 《Score of Resonance》, so he intends to give the secret manual to his prospective grandson-in-law as a betrothal gift. This year’s conference is being held by your Southern Sword Sect which happens to be far away from the East Sea, so we are moving first in preparation.”

He Cong added, “Right. Junior Brother Yue, as you know, the Demonic Cult has been coveting the《Score of Resonance》for a long time. Elder Jiang’s son even died because of it.”

“The Demonic Cult will surely make a move if they learned that they were leaving the East Sea, so Elder Jiang requested assistance from my Master and Pavillion Master Ye. But come to think of it, Elder Jiang was always friendly with Sect Master Si Tu, so I imagined he had also commissioned the Yu Jian Alliance. Where is Junior Brother Yue heading towards? If there’s nothing urgent, why don’t you join us in getting rid of those devious Demonic Cult members!”

Yue Qian was tempted and looked at Gou Liang.

Their journey had no destination, and the Left Guardian—be it because his injuries had yet to recover or because he was scared—had only tailed after them without revealing himself so far. Why not head towards the East Sea and kill some Demonic Cult bastards on the side? But there were too many points of mystery shrouding Gou Liang, not to mention he supposedly possessed a secret manual that the Left Guardian was after. Yue Qian worried about more trouble arising and wasn’t sure if Gou Liang would be willing to go with them.

Tang Nuo added, “That’s a good idea!”

“I heard that Elder Jiang pays special attention to you and holds you in high regard. I bet he is aiming for you! You are single and close in age with Miss Jiang. Not to mention, Miss Jiang is the top beauty in the jianghu right after Xia Xinya. She is a good match for Peerless Bro. Since Sect Master Si Tu is close with the Jiang Clan, he certainly won’t mind deepening it even—wuwu!”

Gou Liang lightly swept his gaze over him. Tang Guo was dense and noticed nothing, but He Cong who was sitting next to him felt a chill on his back and reflexively blocked his Junior Brother’s mouth.

Gou Liang stood up after feeding the horses and dusted off his hands. “Since there’s nothing else to do, there’s no problem with making a trip to the East Sea.”

After saying this, he got on the horse and rode away.

“Ye Hui, don’t randomly go off on your own!”

Yue Qian saw the other quickly leaving his field of vision and rushed to catch up. Zhu Fengyi and He Cong looked at each other, and the latter sighed at his Junior Brother who was feeling displeased with him, “One day you will suffer a loss because of your mouth.”

Tang Nuo was aggrieved, “What did I say wrong!”

Zhu Fengyi smiled despite himself. He told him to get on his horse and went to catch up with Yue Qian and Gou Liang.

They traveled non-stop the entire way and in the evening, they decided to lodge at an inn.

“Customers, are you staying at the inn or stopping by to eat?”

“Please give us four rooms.”

He Cong had it planned out. Since he didn’t feel at ease leaving his Junior Brother by himself, they would stay together in a room. The others could each get their own rooms.

The worker was about to respond when Yue Qian interjected, “No, three rooms are enough.”

Yue Qian noticed the looks he was receiving and suddenly realized that Gou Liang was dressed as a girl. He froze and explained stiffly: “Ye Gui is a girl, and it wouldn’t be safe for her to stay alone…”

He Cong, Zhu Fengyi, and Tang Nuo: Oh, but it’s safe for you to stay with her? →v→

Gou Liang laughed softly.

His laughter was like the thawing of winter and the blooming of flowers for miles. It made the people eating and talking in the inn’s lobby fall silent as they stared at him in a stupor.

When the worker led them to their rooms, Tang Nuo slowed down and whispered to his Senior Brother, “I didn’t expect them to have that kind of relationship. So he was that sort of Peerless Yue, tut-tut.”

He Cong noticed how Yue Qian walking in front of them had stiffened and blocked his Junior Brother’s mouth again.

When they entered their rooms, Yue Qian smiled bitterly, “Brother Ye, my reputation is about to fall into shambles because of you.”

Gou Liang gave him an askance look, “The men downstairs are all envious to death, yet you dwell in blessings and remain ignorant of it.”

Yue Qian broke out of character and gave him an eye roll.

Gou Liang was pleased and the smile on his face didn’t disappear for a long time.

After they ate dinner, He Cong made Tang Nuo leave to invite Yue Qian over for drinks while he and Zhu Fengyi discussed some things. Tang Nuo had just exited the room when he saw Yue Qian walking upstairs while carrying a big parcel—he seemed to have just returned from outside. Tang Nuo relayed the invitation, but Yue Qian politely declined and hurried back to his room, closing the door behind him.

Tang Nuo exhaled and dashed back to the room with gleaming eyes, interrupting his Senior Brothers who were discussing official businesses.

“Senior Brother, Senior Brother, guess what I saw?”

The two looked at him and indulged him with a small smile on their faces.

“I saw Yue Qian returning to his room with a bag of women’s clothing!”

The parcel was wrapped tightly, but he saw a bolt of red. At a glance, he knew they were for Gou Liang. But! That wasn’t the main point!

Tang Nuo excitedly grabbed He Cong’s hands, “I heard from the worker that Miss Ye is taking a bath in the room, but Yue Qian walked in just like that! They definitely have that sort of relationship, it can’t possibly be another type of relationship!”

He Cong pulled his hands back, “…What does that have to do with you?”

—He wished he could stuff his stupid Junior Brother back into his Shi Niang’s belly to be reborn! (▼皿▼#)

Zhu Fengyi chuckled, “It’s a waste of Junior Brother Tang’s talent to not join Bai Xiao Tower.”

Meanwhile, next door, Yue Qian could hear everything that Tang Nuo had shouted out in excitement. He rubbed his forehead, “Now I can’t wash myself clean even if I jump into the yellow river.”

Gou Liang was watching Tang Nuo’s stand-up comedy through the system’s monitor. When he saw Yue Qian’s dark expression, the smile on his face grew wider.

He waved his hand, “Hey, the water isn’t hot anymore.”

Yue Qian had already grown accustomed to being ordered around. Keeping the last bit of his composure, he walked over and when he discovered that there was no more hot water to pour, he wanted him to get out of the water.

Gou Liang glanced at him, “Don’t you have a deep reserve of internal force? It’s not like you can store it away and eat it, you might as well use it to heat my bath water.”

Yue Qian was speechless. Feeling resigned, he walked forward and said, “Brother Ye has the thickest skin of anyone I have ever met.”

“You flatter me.”

Gou Liang always took a mile when he was given an inch. After he finished soaking in the bath, he made Yue Qian dry his hair while he made clothes from the red silk and fabric bought by Yue Qian.

Yue Qian teased him while drying his hair, “Why do you always wear red? Everyone was asking me for wedding wine when I went to the store earlier.” Red was rarely worn on normal occasions, and all the red fabrics in the store were meant for making wedding outfits.

Gou Liang asked, “Did you agree?”

His voice blurred the lines of genders but was magnetic unlike a woman’s making it even more seductive. His voice was a hook that could subconsciously capture anyone’s attention and he had a rare smile on his face. When Yue Qian listened to him, his mood lifted instantly. Internal energy gathered at the tips of his fingers and he combed through the other’s hair in contentment.

He smiled, “Brother Ye, stop making fun of me.”

“Why is Hero Yue shy? Did you not hear what the gongzi from the Tang Clan said? There is a delicate beauty waiting for you at the East Sea. Perhaps after seeing your face, Elder Jiang would want to marry his granddaughter to you on the spot.”

“Brother Ye shouldn’t take his words seriously, lest it ruins Miss Jiang’s reputation.”

“Oh, you haven’t even married her yet and you’re already looking out for her?”

“When did I say I was going to marry her?”


The two countered back and forth and when they finally stopped, Yue Qian felt silly for taking it so seriously.

Seeing that Gou Liang was unhappy, Yue Qian changed the topic, “How come Brother Ye is so good at needlework? It looks even better than the works of the disciples from the Embroidery Tower.”

The Embroidery Tower was a subsidiary sect of the Nine Underworld Tower and its founder was a female disciple from Fan Yin Pavilion.

Fan Yin Pavilion and the Nine Underworld Tower were both located in the central plains and since the relationship between the two sects was intimate, marriage between their disciples was common. After marrying into the Tang Clan, the founder of the Embroidery Tower created a martial art based on the Nine Underworld Tower’s hidden weapon arts which used embroidery tools as weapons and were a combination of sound and surprise attacks. Since the founder cultivated the path of embroidery, the majority of the Embroidery Tower were women who were devoted to the study of embroidery, and their embroidery products were extremely popular within the martial arts circle, even Xia Xinya and Mo Guanju’s wedding outfits were made by the Embroidery Tower.

Yue Qian’s words weren’t necessarily empty praises.

An embroidery frame the length of a square zhang was set up in the candle-lit room. Gou Liang used both hands and his fingers flew across the red silk. The outline of the embroidery soon took form—it was a phoenix that looked like it was about to take flight.

The stitches were precise and the composition of the thread’s color was impeccable. Such skills were impossible to achieve without year-long practices.

Gou Liang looked at him and smiled mysteriously, “So I’m no longer an enchantress from the Harmony Sect, but an embroidery girl from the Embroidery Tower instead?”

Yue Qian was embarrassed. After all, he held some responsibility for what his junior sister said.

“I don’t mean it like that, I was only curious as to why Brother Ye is so proficient at needlework despite being a man.”

“Who decided that embroidery is only for women? Isn’t the current head of the Embroidery Tower an old geezer?”

“Tower Master Qin is only forty, he can’t be considered a geezer…”

The wife of the old geezer that Gou Liang spoke of was the Martial Aunt of the Southern Sword Sect, so Yue Qian subconsciously defended Tower Master Qin, but when he received a glare from Gou Liang, he gave up on making retorts.

Yue Qian concentrated on drying and combing Gou Liang’s hair. The locks of hair were softer than the highest quality of silk that he had bought; they were long and thick, and each strand was perfect like they were meticulously selected. Even though Gou Liang didn’t use any products, the strands of hair had an alluring scent that lingered even after a long time.

He seemed to have lost track of time, and when he saw that Gou Liang was nearly done embroidering a set of outfits, he discovered that the hair he had been stroking had, in fact, dried a long time ago.

Yue Qian hastily retracted his hand, and his ears suspiciously darkened. Gou Liang pressed his lips together to prevent himself from laughing and gave him an embroidery thread, “Tie my hair, it’s getting in my way.”

Yue Qian made a sound of affirmation and quickly gathered his hair and tied it at the end. When he set down his hair, he sighed, “I have never brushed another person’s hair, but somehow it feels like I have done it many times before. It doesn’t seem that hard—Brother Ye, watch out!”


Gou Liang sucked on his finger that was pricked by the needle. His heart felt both sweet and sour.

Of course he had done it many times before. In the seventeen years that they were together, even he had lost count of how many times Zhong Quan had brushed his hair…

Yue Qian saw the tears forming in his eyes and thought it must have hurt. He reminded him to be more careful but his goodwill was disregarded, and Gou Liang’s expression changed, saying to him impatiently, “Stay away from me, you’re tripping me up.”

Yue Qian, “…”

He good-naturedly got up, but he only walked a couple of steps when Gou Liang stopped him.

“Big Brother Ye, do you have any other commands?”

Yue Qian felt that his Master’s concern over his sword intent being too ruthless was unnecessary. Look at how tolerant he was!

Gou Liang beckoned him to sit and used his finger to lift the clothes on his shoulder, “There’s a rip here. How is it appropriate for the number one gongzi on the Heroes Ranking to wear tattered clothes like this?”

Saying this, he selected a thread with a matching color to Yue Qian’s clothes, threaded it, and started sewing. In no time the tear was fixed and he even embroidered a simple dragon design. He was satisfied with the result, he stroked it then tied off the thread and lowered his head to bite the thread in two.

Yue Qian slightly moved his head askew. The drooping lashes casted shadows underneath the other’s eyes and his expression that always carried a sharp-edge to it had thawed into a most tender look. His heart felt like it was being slammed against like the morning bells of the Shaolin Temple and his ears were drowning in the noise of his own uncontrollable heartbeat.

Gou Liang heard it loud and clear and smiled as he rolled up the threads, “What are you staring at me for?”

The noise in Yue Qian’s ears exploded. His face was blood red, and when he heard Gou Liang’s question, he didn’t know how to deal with this strange and unfamiliar feeling and stuttered, “N, nothing, it’s just that since my Mother passed, no one has sewed my clothes for me like this…”

The smile on Gou Liang’s face fell.

What regret, what nostalgia? All gone in seconds! His face was icy, he grabbed Yue Qian’s neck and pushed him onto the bed, smiling, “What did you say just now?”

Yue Qian, “I, I…”

Gou Liang’s grip tightened and his smile was frightening, “I’m like your mother?”

Yue Qian, “N, no, that’s not what I meant…”

Gou Liang didn’t want his explanation and poked him with a needle. Yue Qian saw that he was going to poke him again and started to struggle.

“Ye Gui, Ye Gui, stop…”

In the room next door, Zhu Fengyi, He Cong, and his junior brother listened to the sound of the bed hitting against the wall and trembled.

When the battle ended after two hours, they finally heard the sounds of gasping for breath:

The battle was so intense…

Little theater:

The Left Guardian, harmed by his own brain holes to the point of a nosebleed, rolled up some tissues and stuffed them up his nose: Can you show some respect for the villain out to kill you? (`皿?)=凸

System: …Heh, is being a villain so amazing? I once thought I was the protagonist. (┙T^T)┙へ┻┻

Biological Mom: Brain holes need to be treated.(^v^)

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