All My Murim Noonas Are Obsessed With Me!-Chapter 89: Getting My Ass Slapped By A Loli (1)

Dan Yuseong’s POV

What the hell is this?!

Huddled in the farthest corner of the carriage, I trembled, the vivid waves of power crashing around me.

Another attack?!

What kind of wretched world was this, where I couldn’t go a single day without something trying to kill me? I knew the outside was dangerous, but did it have to be this dangerous?

I’m done... I’m going back...

Living like this was bearable for a day or two, but when chaos struck relentlessly, how was I supposed to survive? As soon as I reached Shaanxi, I’d greet Dang Ayeong and head straight for the mountain where I’d lived with Master.

I had money—buying a stack of books would keep boredom at bay until Master showed up.

Right, nothing’s going to happen right now, I told myself.

The power outside was intense, but I didn’t believe the Sword Empress would lose. She was one of the righteous faction’s top masters. With her here, what could some random attack do to me?

Yeah, trust the Sword Empress. I’m definitely safe...

Patting my pounding chest to calm myself, I clung to that reassurance—

Thud.

Then I saw her collapse powerlessly outside.

"Ahh..."

Despair flooded my eyes.

In that moment, the culprit behind the attack—the one who’d clashed swords with her—started walking toward me.

Mystical blue hair and a youthful appearance that didn’t quite match an adult woman’s. Objectively, she was a beauty on par with the Sword Empress—

"Hello there. You’re Dan Yuseong, right?"

But to me, she was nothing but a threat.

"Y-You know my name?" I stammered, my voice trembling.

"Of course," she said, her tone laced with disdain. "How could I not? An arrogant brat who doesn’t even appreciate the grace the Divine Heaven and Earth bestowed, always mocking Them instead."

"...!"

Her words struck like a blade, and I felt it—the overwhelming celestial energy swirling around her. Proof she wasn’t just casually linked to the Divine Heaven and Earth.

From what she said, I could guess why she’d come for me—and how she knew my name.

They actually sent someone?!

This was unmistakably tied to the heavens. Not just nudging fate vaguely—they’d outright told her I was here and to punish me.

Normal people didn’t commune with the Divine Heaven and Earth like that. She had some special connection I couldn’t comprehend.

Divine Heaven and Earth?! You’re not doing this just because I teased you a bit, right?!

[...]

Hey, you bastard! After all the crap I’ve been through because of you, you send someone over a few insults—

"Ah."

Flinch.

I glanced toward the sound and saw her staring at me, her expression chilling.

"They said they were going to let it slide, but not anymore..."

"W-What...?"

What was that? Was she seriously talking to the heavens in real-time? That was possible?

"Please, from now on, have a bit more gratitude toward Them..."

Before I could process my questions, she approached, and I could only squeeze my eyes shut.

...

...

...

"Ow!"

"Have you reflected now?"

"Reflected on what—"

"Still a long way to go."

Smack!

"Ack!"

A sharp sting burned my backside, drawing a scream and a tear. My stomach draped over her lap—a punishment I’d never faced, even in my past life, shredding my pride.

I’m not a kid...!

Sure, it’d make sense for disciplining a cocky brat—but why me? I was the one wronged here! Living my life just fine, only to be possessed into this dying body and suffer like this—why was I the one—

"Do you even know what I’ve been through because of your so-called heavens?!"

Fury and grievance boiled over, my voice rising despite the spanking.

Sniffle.

"Why...! Why do I have to live like this...!"

Tears mixed with my words. It was too unfair, too miserable.

Me, arrogant? Fine, I’d joked around a bit—I’d admit that. But shouldn’t they consider what they’d done to me first? Dumping me into a near-dead body without asking, tossing me a shop interface like some grand favor, telling me to wait 27 years or cough up ten thousand gold to go home.

They gave me the ability to read the heavens, sure, but it was half-baked—I couldn’t even see my own future clearly. And when I wanted straight answers, they gagged me with "heavenly secrets" nonsense—

"You bastard..."

The floodgates had burst.

Drip, drip.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, soaking my cloak. I thought this might get some reaction—at least a hint of guilt.

But her response was nothing like I’d expected.

"That’s exactly why They say you don’t know gratitude," she said, her voice colder than ever.

"Do you even realize what fate you’d have suffered without the Divine Heaven and Earth? They went out of Their way to save a soul from another dimension with no ties to Them—and instead of thanks, you spew this arrogance. No wonder They called me here."

"W-Wait a sec."

Her words didn’t make sense. I had a million questions.

"Y-You... You know I’m from another dimension?"

"Yes."

That she knew my origins was shocking enough—

Saved me?

And what was this about me suffering some fate without Them? No matter how I racked my brain, I couldn’t recall any sign of impending doom back then. No accidents, no frail health, no trouble around me—

"What fate was I supposed to—"

"That’s something I can’t tell you—circumstances and all."

Crack.

"#$&%#$&%!"

Rage surged, and an incomprehensible yell burst out.

Fine, screw it. My mistake was expecting anything from that jerk. Some fate I was doomed for? The Divine Heaven and Earth "helped" me? All bullshit.

I was the idiot for almost buying it. What kindness could I expect from that spiteful bastard?

Hey! Heavens, you listening?!

Too cowardly to come down yourself, so you send someone to spank me instead?!

What?! You mad?! If you’ve got a problem, strike me with lightning like before! Oh, you can’t, can you? Not with your precious pet right next to me!

Then come down here yourself! Bet you won’t! The great Divine Heaven and Earth, stooping to send a lackey because some fortune-teller trash-talked you—don’t you feel ashamed? You never think about what you’ve done to me—

Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch.

"...Uh."

I didn’t know what it was, but that sound felt deeply ominous.

Creak, creak.

I stiffly turned my head toward the woman beside me—

"..."

Her eyes glowed blue, the celestial energy around her churning wildly.

"...Uh, just now, did I—"

"Hey."

Flinch!