Bandit System I Just Wanted To Go Home-Chapter 9: I am the villain

Clearwater Village was a warm little countryside hamlet hidden away in the Northern Wilderness. Everyone knew everyone. Everyone was family. 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝙬𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝙤𝓶

Which made it extra traumatic when they watched their drunk uncle Shuan explode like a dropped watermelon in front of the entire family reunion.

And then the murderer started throwing the body parts around.

Tears of joy streaked across his cheeks, challenging the very heavens.

And the worst part? The demon was a cultivator. A strong one.

Strong enough that running would just mean dying.

So they stood there and waited.

---

The entire village watched Hunter, covered in human bits, clothes drenched red. They experienced pure fear. Not just for their own lives but for the ones they loved. Mothers held children tight. Fathers stepped forward, weaponless but ready to die trying. The elderly prayed to any god who might be listening.

Hunter stared back at them, going through his own hell.

Shit shit shit what do I do, System?

[SYSTEM] HMM I DON’T KNOW. I DIDN’T ACTUALLY THINK YOU’D MAKE IT THIS FAR [SYSTEM] YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE INCOMPETENT ¯_(ツ)_/¯ OH! I KNOW! TELL THEM "I AM THE CAPTAIN NOW" ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Hunter sighed internally. Why do I even bother with you?

He looked at the villagers. They looked back. Fifty terrified people waiting for the blood-soaked cultivator to speak.

Say something intimidating. Something that keeps me from having to kill anyone else today- Rest in peace drunk guard.

His mind went blank.

Then he remembered a movie. Late night. Couldn’t sleep. Liam Neeson on the phone being a badass.

Close enough.

Hunter took a breath and yelled, accidentally infusing his spiritual power into his voice like hitting the caps lock key with your whole fist:

"LOOK AT ME!"

The sound boomed across the square, carrying more weight than it should. Something in his chest vibrated, his cultivation, his qi, whatever it was called, amplifying the sound until it felt like a physical force.

The villagers flinched. Some dropped to their knees. A woman grabbed her husband’s arm so hard her knuckles went white.

Holy shit, that actually worked.

Encouraged, Hunter kept going, pulling words from a movie he’d watched a hundred times because of his insomnia.

"I don’t know who you people are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for mercy, I can tell you I don’t have any."

I have so much mercy. Please don’t make me kill anyone else. I’ll cry again.

"But what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career."

For the love of God, I wrote insurance policies. That’s not even a skill.

Through his spiritual sense, he felt someone in the crowd recognize the speech. A teenage boy.

Oh God, does this world have Taken? Do they have Liam Neeson? Is he going to call me out?

The boy wisely kept his mouth shut.

"Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you."

Several children started crying harder. A woman fainted. An old man grabbed his chest like his heart was giving out.

I’m a monster. I’m an actual monster. Mom, if you can hear me across dimensions, I’m so sorry.

"If you give me all your valuables right now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

The silence that followed was deafening.

Then the weeping started. Proper weeping. The kind that made Hunter want to take it all back and run into the forest to live with the murderous squirrels.

On second thought, never mind. Bamby didn’t deserve that.

The village elder stepped forward, coughing loudly to get attention. His hands were shaking but his voice stayed steady. Putting on a strong face for his people, even though everyone could see the through him.

"Esteemed Sir." He bowed deeply, stealing glances at Hunter and the meat pile that used to be Shuan. "If you will allow it, I would like to handle the collection of the valuables you are seeking."

He paused, choosing his next words very carefully.

"So there are no more... incidents... like the last."

He gets it! Hunter thought with relief. It was an incident! An accident! I didn’t mean to run him over. Didn’t his parents teach him not to jump in front of moving cars? I mean, cultivators? Same thing, really.

The elder continued, voice only trembling slightly. "We are a poor village, but we will give you everything we have. Please, just... let us live."

"That’s fine." His voice came out rougher than intended. "Take two men to help you. I’ll have two of my elite soldiers accompany you."

[SYSTEM] IF XUAN AND LEX ARE ELITE SOLDIERS, YOU’RE SCREWED LOL

Screw you, bag of bolts.

"Xuan. Lex. Follow him. Make sure everything gets collected and they don’t get any funny ideas." Hunter paused, then added, "Also see if they can spare four horses."

Both bandits bowed quickly and scurried after the elder like their lives depended on it. Which, to be fair, they did.

Hunter turned to Tao, who’d been standing frozen this entire time, still holding his sword backwards.

"As for you, Tao, you’ll stay here with me and the villagers." Hunter sat down on a nearby crate, trying to look casual and in control instead of like someone on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. "You don’t need to do anything. Don’t even move until I tell you."

Please don’t do anything. Please just stand there and try not to be you

He closed his eyes and focused on his spiritual sense, keeping watch over the villagers while trying very hard not to think about what he’d just done.

The small group of five, led by the Village Head with Xuan and Lex trailing nervously behind, started searching through the twenty or so homes. Most were small wooden cabins. Not much of value. Just people’s lives, carefully accumulated over years of hard work.

As the search continued, Hunter sat with his eyes closed, using his spiritual sense to keep watch.

I’m really doing this. Robbing farmers.

He tried not to think about it. Tried to just scan the village mechanically, like he was doing inventory at work.

Then his awareness snagged on something.

The largest home in the village, a two-story cabin that was nice by local standards, had something hidden behind a false wall. A stone radiating qi so strongly even he could feel it from here.

That’s valuable. Really valuable.

Hunter’s stomach twisted.

They hid it. Which means it’s important. I mean I am a bandit after all.

He pointed to the house, eyes still closed. "Tao, I want you to search that house thoroughly."

I need it more than they do. I’m the one trying to survive in a murder forest..

"Second floor bedroom. There’s a loose wooden panel behind the nightstand. Bring me what you find."

"Yes, Master! I won’t fail you this time!" Tao bowed enthusiastically and hurried off.

Hunter sat there, covered in drying blood that was starting to smell, trying not to calculate how many months of food the villagers would have before Winter.

But I need to survive. That’s what matters. Right?

No answer came. Just the sound of distant crying and the rustle of people’s homes being searched.

Tao arrived back after what felt like hours, holding something wrapped in cloth. "Master, here it is. The blue rock is special. It makes me feel good when I hold it."

He handed the stone over carefully. Hunter unwrapped it.

It was beautiful. A crystal that glowed with inner light, pulsing gently like a heartbeat. Just touching it made him feel... more. Like the air was clearer, his thoughts sharper, his body lighter.

"I wonder what it is," Hunter muttered, turning it over in his hands. "I can feel qi radiating from it."

[SYSTEM] THAT’S A SPIRITUAL STONE. IT’S USELESS FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE CONNECTED TO THE SYSTEM. IF YOU TRY ABSORBING IT, IT’LL JUST GO TO ME AND NOT YOU. I SUGGEST GIVING IT TO ONE OF THE THREE. THEY’LL BE CULTIVATORS SOON ♪(´▽｀)

Are you feeling sick? You’re actually being helpful for once.

[SYSTEM] I’M ALWAYS HELPFUL (╯°□°)╯ YOU JUST DON’T APPRECIATE ME

Hunter pocketed the stone and changed the subject. Speaking of rewards, when do I get mine?

[SYSTEM] OH RIGHT! CONGRATULATIONS HUNTER! WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR REWARDS RIGHT NOW? REMEMBER THAT SUDDEN BREAKTHROUGHS AREN’T PLEASANT. I SUGGEST WAITING UNTIL YOU’RE BACK HOME. UNLESS YOU WANT THEM TO PURGE BLACK SLUDGE IN FRONT OF FIFTY VILLAGERS ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Hunter’s eye twitched at the memory of that smell. "Good idea. I’ll wait."

The thought of having to travel with them covered in that disgusting sludge... Yeah, No. Hard pass.

Night fell properly as Xuan and Lex returned with several large bags of loot and four horses hitched to a cart. The village head had been more than happy to provide whatever they needed if it meant they’d leave as soon as possible.

Hunter stood and looked at the haul. Mostly copper coins. Some silver. A few pieces of jewelry that probably meant the world to whoever owned them. Nothing that would make him rich, but enough to survive on for a while.

This is everything they have. And I’m taking it.

He climbed onto one of the horses and nearly fell off when it started moving. Cultivation apparently didn’t come with horse-riding skills. He grabbed the mane desperately, trying to look dignified and mostly failing.

Note to self: learn to ride a horse. Or get the System to give me a horse-riding skill. Or just walk everywhere and claim it’s for training.

As they rode away, Hunter looked back at Clearwater Village one last time.

Fifty people standing in the square, watching them go. Probably wondering if they’d survive the winter. But most importantly, thanking every god they knew that the monster was leaving.

Hire a better trained guard next time, Hunter thought, and immediately felt like garbage for thinking it.

Shuan was someone’s uncle. Probably. And I turned him into a road lesson about not standing in front of cultivators.

He turned away and focused on the road ahead.

The ride home was quiet except for creaking wood and nervous horse breathing.

Hunter hadn’t said a word since they left. Just stared straight ahead, trying not to think about it.

I’m a bandit. A real one now. I robbed fifty people. I guess I am villain.

Trying to distract himself.

System, do you have a name?

[SYSTEM] NAME? I DON’T THINK SO. LET ME CHECK. [BUFFERING] ... [BUFFERING] ... NOPE. NO NAME. WHY?

No particular reason. Just tired of calling you ’System’ all the time. You live in my head. Feels weird not having a name for you.

[SYSTEM] AWW YOU LIKE ME! ♥‿♥ YES! I WANT A NAME!

I really don’t like you. But...

Hunter looked up. The twin moons were fully visible now, purple and white dancing across the darkening sky. It was beautiful.

How about Luna?

[SYSTEM] I LIKE IT... IT’S REALLY PRETTY. THANK YOU, HUNTER

The text appeared different this time. Did it grow a heart?

Wait, did the evil murder-bot just malfunction?

[LUNA] I’M NOT A MURDER-BOT (╥_╥) I’M A BANDIT-BOT. GET IT RIGHT

Despite everything, despite the blood still crusted on his clothes. Hunter almost smiled.

There she is.

Behind them, Tao, Xuan, and Lex rode in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Through his spiritual sense, Hunter could feel their exhaustion. Their relief. Their fear of what came next.

None of them spoke. There was nothing to say.

They’d succeeded. They were bandits now. Real ones.