Becoming A God In Another World With My Crush-Chapter 54: Alyhana’s Feelings, Xander’s Emotional Constipation

Chapter 54: Alyhana’s Feelings, Xander’s Emotional Constipation

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Alyhana stiffened instantly, her cheeks going crimson in the firelight. She turned away so fast it was a miracle she didn’t fall over her own blankets.

"I–I just think your ideas are reasonable," she said, voice about two octaves higher than normal. "Not all of them! I mean... a lot of them. Just—some. Just this one. Right now."

Xander blinked slowly, processing that jumble of words.

"What?" he asked, blinking again. "Did I say something weird?"

That was all it took to break Iris.

She doubled over, clutching her stomach as a laugh burst out of her, loud and unfiltered. "Oh gods, you’re so clueless," she said between snorts. "Has no one ever crushed on you before, nerd?"

"What?!" Xander turned fully now, staring at her. "What does that even mean?"

"Come on, Xander," Iris said, grinning at him with way too much mischief in her eyes. "You’re not that dense. She’s practically glowing every time you look at her."

"I—I do not glow!" Alyhana squeaked, her hands flying to cover her face. "I’m not glowing!"

"You’re basically a lantern right now," Iris teased.

Alyhana let out a soft whimper and sank a little further into her blanket like she could disappear into the fabric if she just tried hard enough.

Xander frowned, clearly still very behind on whatever this conversation was becoming. "Okay, wait—what are we talking about?"

Iris rolled her eyes with a grin and leaned back on her elbows, her tone mock-casual. "Nothing, Kaelhi. Just girl stuff. Definitely not about how someone totally wants to marry you and serve you tea for the rest of your divine life."

"Iris!!" Alyhana nearly shrieked, her red face buried in her hands. "Stop it right now—please—!"

Xander stared helplessly between them, completely out of his depth. "Why are you both like this?"

"Because," Iris said with a shrug, "watching you panic about feelings is, like, top-tier entertainment."

Iris, still grinning like the cat that got the cream, rolled up the weathered map and tucked it into her satchel with a lazy flick of her wrist. Without missing a beat, she reached inside and pulled out one of her book and opened it like this was the most normal, casual moment in the world.

Xander was still sitting upright, eyebrows slightly knit, trying to make sense of the chaos that had just unfolded around him.

"Wait," he said again, slowly, turning his attention from one girl to the other. "What exactly am I missing here?"

Xander opened his mouth, clearly about to ask another question, but Iris raised a hand to cut him off and turned her gaze toward Alyhana instead.

"So," she said, tone deceptively mild, "you gonna tell him or should I?"

Alyhana’s head snapped up so fast her braid nearly smacked her in the face. Her eyes were wide, filled with instant panic, and her entire expression crumbled like someone had just set her robes on fire.

"No!" she squeaked, hugging her arms tightly around herself. "Please don’t! Iris, I swear to the gods, do not say anything!"

Iris tilted her head innocently. "Why not? It’s not like it’s a secret secret. He’s just emotionally illiterate."

"Iris!" Alyhana hissed, nearly diving behind her sleeves as her face turned redder by the second. "You promised you wouldn’t!"

"Did I?" Iris mused, flipping a page in her book. "I don’t recall signing anything in blood."

Xander, who had been watching this entire exchange with the slow dawning horror of a man realizing he’d walked into a play halfway through, blinked.

"What... is going on right now?"

Alyhana groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Please stop talking," she mumbled. "Just... please stop."

Iris smirked and leaned back against her rolled-up blanket like she was at a festival and this was the show. "You know, for someone who took a vow of humility, you’re incredibly dramatic."

Alyhana made a soft, strangled noise of distress and Xander blinked at her, completely lost, he gave up and laid down.

Alyhana remained frozen in place, still half-curled inward like she wanted to vanish into her own sleeves. Her face was flushed from her ears down to her throat, and for a moment, it seemed like she might not say anything at all.

But then she exhaled shakily, brushing her fingers over her skirt and sitting up just a little straighter, as though steadying herself.

"I... it’s not what you think," she said at last, voice soft but clearer than before. "It’s not... feelings."

Xander blinked at her, tilting his head slightly.

"I mean—it’s not like that, I just—" Alyhana hesitated again, then pushed through, falling into the formal rhythm of someone trying to explain something she’d rehearsed in her head a hundred times. "You’re the Kaelhi. You were chosen by the gods. You bear the mark of fate, and wield a sword no mortal can carry. It only makes sense to trust you. Everything you say must be right... I’d be stupid to argue with that."

She folded her hands neatly in her lap, trying to appear composed, though her eyes were focused on the ground.

"I’m not being foolish," she added after a beat. "I’m being respectful. Loyal. Devoted. That’s all."

Xander stared at her for a long second — not judging, not mocking, just... confused.

Then he leaned forward slightly, his voice gentler now, a soft note of sincerity threading through it.

"Alyhana... I’m not always right," he said quietly. "Gods, half the time I’m just guessing and hoping it doesn’t get us killed. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be Kaelhi. Don’t just follow me because of some title someone stamped on my back."

Alyhana’s eyes flicked toward him, startled by how serious he sounded. She blinked, lips parting slightly as she searched his face.

He gave her a small shrug, almost sheepish. "You deserve to make your own decisions. I want you to, even if you don’t agree with me."

There was a pause. The fire crackled between them. A low wind whistled through the trees, rustling the blackened leaves like whispers in the dark.

And then Alyhana smiled — just a little. Not her usual polite temple smile, but something softer, more vulnerable. Her shoulders relaxed as her hands unclasped gently.

"I know you’re not perfect, Xander," she said, quieter now. "And I know I don’t have to follow you. But... I want to. Because I choose to. With my own mind... and my own heart."

Iris made a gagging noise behind her book.

Alyhana flushed again instantly. "I–I didn’t mean it like that—!"

Xander chuckled under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck with a dry laugh. "Well... thanks. I think."

Alyhana nodded quickly and then turned her gaze back to the fire, clearly hoping no one would say anything else.

Iris, of course, immediately said something else.

"Gods," she muttered with a smirk, "you two are going to give me cavities."

Iris didn’t comment again — not out loud, at least. She tilted her head lazily against her pack, her book open but clearly unread now, the pages catching the firelight while her eyes remained fixed on nothing in particular. Her earlier smirk had faded into something more thoughtful, almost unreadable. The teasing was done, for now.

Alyhana sat a little stiffer than before, her shoulders hunched as she picked at the seam of her sleeve. She kept her gaze trained on the fire like it held answers to things she wasn’t quite ready to voice.

Xander sat across from them both, legs stretched out, arms draped over his knees, his expression unreadable. He watched the flames flicker and die into soft embers, the golden light tracing faint lines across his cheekbones and jaw.

The quiet settled around them again — but it wasn’t peaceful, not quite. It felt like the kind of silence that came after something important had almost been said, but didn’t quite make it out. Something lingered. He could feel it hanging in the air between them like the smoke curling off the firewood — not dangerous, not sharp, just... unfinished.

He exhaled slowly through his nose and rubbed the back of his neck.

There was a small beat before he spoke again, voice low and tired. "Alright. I’m calling it. Long day. No monsters is still exhausting, apparently."

Alyhana glanced up at him, the corner of her mouth twitching with something like agreement. "It’s the walking. It always feels longer when nothing’s trying to eat us."

Iris made a humming noise, half amusement, half agreement, but still didn’t look up from her book.

Xander gave a soft huff, then reached for his bedroll and shifted it closer to the edge of camp where the stars were clearer. He lay back against the earth, one hand behind his head, the other resting near his sword.

He didn’t say anything else for a while. Just stared upward.

Alyhana eventually curled up beside the fire, her blanket tucked under her chin. Iris stretched out beside her pack, flipping a page just to hear it turn.

The wind stirred faintly through the clearing.

"Good night," Xander mumbled at last, not really looking at either of them.

There was a quiet murmur of responses — "Night," from Iris, and something softer from Alyhana, maybe not even words.

But neither of them said much more. And Xander didn’t push.

He closed his eyes as the fire dwindled into soft, pulsing orange light, his breath steadying, his fingers relaxing.

Still, the silence didn’t leave him. The weight of the conversation, the strange sense of being close to something he didn’t quite understand — it lingered, threading beneath his thoughts like a song half-remembered.

He tried to let it go. To sleep. To breathe.

But the words stayed with him — unsaid, but heavy.

He let the silence settle, steady and warm around him, but the truth remained lodged somewhere in his chest. Whatever it was... he’d figure it out. Eventually.