Can I Still Be Your Heroine Even Though I'm Your Teacher?-Chapter 4Volume 1 .3 - Rain

Rain 3

The woman in front of me suddenly spoke bluntly, as if she had become a different person.

“It would be so easy to just go with the flow and accept you as a man. To be honest and not think about the consequences can be satisfying…but would that really make you and me happier?”

While she seemed to understand, she laid out her logic, and it felt like her heart, which had seemed so close just moments ago, was drifting away.

“I was wrong to lead you on. The time we spent together was truly enjoyable, and your cooking made me happy. But it’s not good for us to have a deeper relationship.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to become a bitter memory for you.”

Before I could interject, she rapidly expressed her feelings.

“It’s doomed to fail…is that what you’re saying?”

“The students will graduate. Once this student-teacher relationship ends, this closeness will inevitably change.”

“I want to change it for the better.”

“——Thank you for being brave. It made me realize my own irresponsibility.”

As she stands up, a fierce flash of lightning illuminates the room in white.

Her shadow looms in black as she turns her back to me.

“The pain has subsided, right? Then, you should go back.”

She points to the door without looking at me.

“Don’t act like you’re the only one to blame and resolve this on your own. This is a problem for both of us.”

I stand up as well.

“Just be obedient and follow along.”

“You said it yourself, Tenjō-san. ‘I don’t want to become a bitter memory for you.’ “

“So what?”

She tilts her head wearily, looking annoyed.

“It’s ridiculous. Who decided our relationship has to end badly?”

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The future is unknown to anyone.

It seemed to me that she was avoiding moving forward because she didn’t want the current relationship to end.

“——This relationship has been wrong from the start!”

She gets agitated but still doesn’t look at me.

“What I want to know isn’t some ‘plausible’ adult excuse. I want to know your true feelings.”

Reiyu Tenjō could have taken advantage of me with a mature attitude or coldly pushed me away.

Yet, she’s indecisive.

Encouraging me to leave, yet unable to clearly reject me.

As she still won’t face me, I try to take her hand one more time.

“Stop it!”

Pushing away her hand forcefully, she accidentally hits my cheek.

“Ah, I’m sorry…”

She apologizes immediately and finally looks up.

She doesn’t seem angry or disgusted, but rather, she looks concerned about me.

“Tenjō-san, you’re really bad at acting.”

I move slightly closer.

She pulls back as if to escape, seemingly forgetting that the bed is behind her.

Caught off guard, she falls back onto the bed.

“…No way.”

She’s taken aback by how easily she ended up on the bed due to my slight movement.

To prevent her from escaping, I too, climb onto the bed, covering her.

The single bed creaks under the weight of both of us.

This is not my intention.

But just like when we met over shared food, she tried to avoid crucial conversations by running away.

If I back down now, I’m not sure I’ll have the courage to initiate this conversation again.

“If you’re going to keep evading me, I don’t know what I would do…”

I try to keep my tone as joking and frivolous as possible.

I hoped that if I turned this into our usual meaningless banter, it would be easier for her to talk.

“Don’t get on my bed without permission.”

She regains her assertiveness.

“You were sleeping on my bed too, weren’t you, Tenjō-san?”

“T-that was an accident!”

“Then this is also an accident.”

As I boldly retort, she glares at me with a sulky expression.

However, she soon complains in a faint voice.

“I’ve never been pushed down by a man before…”

“It was pretty easy.”

“Hey, is that some kind of special technique that you have?”

Her attempt to bluff with all her might was cute.

“If I had such techniques, I would have used them to kiss Tenjō-san first.”

She hastily covers her lips with her hands.

I can’t help but laugh. No man could remain unmoved by such an innocent reaction from a beautiful older woman like her.

“If I only wanted to kiss you, I would have done it quietly while you were asleep.”

“Is that so?.”

“Yes. Tenjō-san, you’re too defenseless.”

“I don’t know how you can stand it.”

“I couldn’t, and that’s why I got slapped earlier.”

I admit my own folly.

“That was an accident… Did it hurt?”

Even now, she can’t hide her sweetness.

She reaches out to my cheek with concern. Her cold hand feels pleasant on my heated cheek.

“I’m fine.”

“Do you like pain? Are you a masochist or something?”

“Being intensely led by an older Onee-san isn’t too bad.”

“Don’t casually express your own desires! …it puts pressure on me.”

“Oh, what does that mean!?”

“Don’t look so blatantly happy, you idiot!”

With the hand gently touching my cheek, she tries to push my face away.

“Because it makes me start to have expectations.”

“————”

Under me, she stiffens, her gaze darting back and forth.

I wait for her next words.

“If I even once accept my own desires and feelings, I think I won’t be able to hold back anymore. I’d want more and more things and wouldn’t be able to stop. But I can’t imagine this relationship working out any better than it is now.”

“Why do you assume it won’t work?”

“——Because I don’t believe in eternal love.”

I am slightly lost for words.

It’s hard to believe such a beautiful person would express such self-doubt.

“You must have been put off, right, hearing a woman over twenty saying this? Right? You’re put off, aren’t you?”

“It’s so girly and cute.”

“——Ah, shut up! Don’t just accept it! Do you have a Pacific ocean-wide heart?”

“What are you saying, you who are like the sun?”

“That’s what I’m talking about! The real me isn’t as beautiful or admirable as you think I am! And being older and a Sensei, even if it’s okay now, there will definitely come a day when you’re disillusioned with me! I’m afraid and hate that ending! That’s why I can’t move forward!”

She looked as if she was about to cry, like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Please…just go home for today.”

This time, I had no choice but to comply.

If Yuunagi Nishiki wasn’t a student but in a different position, would you have accepted me?

If I were older than Reiyu Tenjō, could this relationship have progressed further?

If I had been a man she could rely on without fear or hesitation, would she not have any struggle?

No, the problem is surely not just that.

If the feelings growing between us are love, then merely taking a step forward as we are now is not enough.

Unless I can erase her distrust in ‘love’ that she herself harbors, we’re likely to end up with a sad conclusion.

She knows this too, which is why she’s hesitant to rush into what lies ahead.

She prefers the ambiguous yet comfortable present over a future where she might get hurt.

Right now, even if I make the person I like to cry, I can’t stop her tears.

I was frustrated with myself for that.