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Can I Still Be Your Heroine Even Though I'm Your Teacher?-Chapter 4Volume 2 .6 - Reflections in the Evening Calm
Reflections in the Evening Calm 6
“I’ve brought it. It’s hot, so be careful.”
When I spoke softly to her, she was doodling in the sand with her toes.
She had quite a knack for drawing.
“Thank you.”
“You’re very dexterous with your feet.”
“I’m just bored. Let’s head back after we drink this.”
We sat down on the leisure sheet and sipped our coffee.
The warmth of the coffee seeps in, comforting our chilled bodies.
While watching the waves come and go for a while, she starts a conversation.
“Let’s talk one last time.”
“About what?”
“About you, Yuunagi-kun, and your family.”
“…Is that the real reason for today?”
I finally realized her true purpose.
“Well, yeah.”
“That’s sneaky. I can’t escape now.”
“It’s a serious conversation.”
“Did Kaguya ask you to talk about it to me? You can ignore her.”
“No, it’s me who wants to talk. Apart from the relationship between us, I don’t think Kaguya-chan’s attitude is the only reason you don’t want to go home.”
“Are you saying there’s a problem on my end?”
I get slightly miffed.
“Kaguya-chan felt responsible for making it hard for you to be at home. That’s why she came to your room wanting your forgiveness.”
Kaguya’s feelings are voiced through her.
“What do you mean by forgiveness? And it’s unfair for you to say it, Rei-san.”
“It’s something you’ll have to face eventually.”
The more composed Rei-san was, the more it felt like she was meddling too much.
“Can we drop this topic? It’s ruining our perfect day.”
As I sip the coffee, the bitterness seems to intensify on my tongue.
“The real reason you’re rejecting Kaguya-chan is because you don’t want to hear her apologize.”
I try to deny it, but words fail me.
I couldn’t just ignore it or laugh it off.
Ugh, why is that?
I don’t even know.
It’s weird. If she apologizes, all we have to do is to make up.
There should be no reason to refuse, and yet—I didn’t want to admit it.
Confused, I struggle to respond.
“Yuunagi-kun, you’re a good Onii-chan. You’re too kind, and if your cute little stepsister apologizes, you’ll put your own feelings aside and feel compelled to forgive her. That’s what you dislike.”
“Why?”
The sound of a particularly large wave echoed.
“Because you, who have always been patient, have been holding back, and you’ve been angry inside all this time.”
“Me? Angry?”
“You act grown-up, but you’re not. You’ve been playing that role for your family.”
“…”
Ah, who said that patience is a virtue? There’s a limit to convenient excuses.
A dry chuckle escaped me, it was ridiculous.
The pain in Nishiki Yuunagi’s heart that had always been trapped.
The anger that never showed on the surface.
Why do people get angry?
—Because they’ve been hurt.
Usually, I’d just keep a calm face and let it slide.
But not this time.
“Well… it’s not just Kaguya’s fault. It’s been building up for a long time… I’ve been angry since long ago. Why do I always have to be the one to endure? Why do my parents divorce on their own accord? Then a new family I don’t know comes along, and because of their whims, I’m the only one who has to go away.”
Words spill out like a flood once I acknowledge them.
Once I became aware of it, the anger I had been suppressing burst out.
I had just been pretending to forget, tightly sealing it away.
The pain in my heart that I had felt wasn’t going to disappear easily, lighten, fade, or erode.
The one who was hurt carries the wound for years and continues to live.
Ugh, that’s right, I admit it. I was enduring everything for my family.
When I was young, I wanted to support my mother, and after she remarried, I prioritized my stepsister. To maintain the family structure, I was always the one who kept drawing the short straw.
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I played the good child, helped with house chores, worked hard at my studies, and always endured so as not to be a burden to my family.
“Why did she have to fall in love with her brother, I was really angry about that…”
“You’re kind because you cared for Kaguya-chan, so thinking of young Kaguya-chan, you left the house.”
That was my unknown, real feelings.
“Maybe I just ran away before my anger could explode.”
“There are things you can’t say because there’s no escape in a family, and no matter how much love there is, not everything can be forgiven. That’s natural.”
She gently stroked my head.
She ruffled my hair as if I were a child, thoroughly and a bit roughly.
The slightly rough gesture was actually comforting to me.
“I can’t possibly reciprocate Kaguya’s feelings, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I wish I could just clearly hate her, but I guess I’m also a half-hearted brother.”
“You’ve been too protective, and Kaguya-chan is a Brocon. To outsiders, you two seem like close siblings.”
“Don’t say it out loud!”
It feels unsettling when things get pointed out objectively.
“That’s what adolescence is all about.”
She said with a wink.
“I guess so.”
“If you’re angry but can’t bring yourself to hate her, then someday you’ll be able to forgive her. It’s not just a normal sibling quarrel, and Kaguya-chan is already prepared for that. What about you?”
This means I no longer have to worry unnecessarily.
No longer misled, we can finally be just siblings and interact like a normal family.
“I guess it’s true how the person who knows the least about you is often yourself.”
The fact that I could say it as if it were someone else’s problem was proof that the weight on my heart had lightened.