Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy-Chapter 205: Young Gold Duke? (5)

Oppa looked as stiff as a board. I probably looked the same.

It was something I had kept to myself for months. Those were words I had wanted to say dozens, even hundreds of times, but never did. I just didn't have the courage.

"Ahaha, you must be really surprised, right?"

My heart was pounding so hard I could barely breathe, but I finally managed to calm my trembling hands enough to speak.

This was my last chance. If I say right now that it was just a joke, I could pretend that it never happened. Then oppa would just laugh it off, telling me not to play such pranks. He would ruffle my hair and scold me, telling me not to do this again.

That way, I could avoid his rejection. I could avoid anything he might dislike or get serious about. It would prevent things from becoming awkward between us.

"But I mean it sincerely, oppa."

But I didn't want to do that.

I finally said it.

Pushed to my limits and driven by an extraordinary variable, I finally confessed my feelings. Only after hesitating for so long did I finally take the first step.

Even the club members showed me consideration. Those kids who had every right to hate me were showing me kindness.

As if no one would notice five people leaving at the same time.

Even the dullest person would find it strange.

So, I spoke up. I gathered my courage and moved forward.

"R-really?"

Oppa barely moved his lips in response.

He looked more bewildered than displeased. It was as if he had heard something completely unexpected.

In a way, it was better. If he was in any state to speak seriously, then I probably wouldn't have managed to say anything.

I’ll tell him everything.

Let’s pour everything out while oppa was speechless. Then at least I wouldn't leave with regrets even if he rejected me.

There would be no next time. If I didn't speak now, then when would I? When he married another woman? When I was on my deathbed?

I don't want to end up confessing my love then. I don't want to be a tragic protagonist.

I wanted to love oppa proudly.

***

I thought I was raising a capybara, but she turned out to be a fox.

No, maybe I should say a rabbit? But she didn’t really seem like a rabbit, either.

It's so confusing.

I tried to distract myself with bizarre thoughts to keep my mind off things, but it didn't really help. What did it matter whether she was a capybara, a fox, or a rabbit?

Sighing softly, I laid down on my bed. It had been a whirlwind of a club session.

"I love you, oppa."

Louise spoke boldly with determined eyes. It was hard to believe this was the same cheerful, carefree girl.

"I've always wanted to say it, but I couldn't. I was too scared and was being a coward."

Louise smiled sheepishly after saying that. She added that she was afraid of being rejected by me, so she didn't confess until now.

For someone who called herself a coward, that was pretty straightforward.

Despite the serious context, I couldn't help but chuckle.

I wonder what Louise considered brave. It was probably something like grabbing me by the collar and demanding we date right there and then.

According to legend, the Crown Princess confessed her love at that level of boldness. Perhaps Louise's role model was the Crown Princess.

How impressive.

A young lady who modeled herself after the Crown Princess. Truly impressive.

Indeed. The things Louise said were also quite remarkable.

"I know I’m lacking. After all, I’m just a baron’s daughter."

She possessed awareness about the two ducal houses.

"I haven’t known you for long, oppa. So, there’s still much I don’t know about you."

She also seemed conscious of our short acquaintance.

"But that's my shortcoming and not a lack of love."

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At that, I could only nod blankly. Her conviction was so intense that my face felt hot.

Louise probably would kick her blankets out of embarrassment once the excitement wore off. Thinking about that future, I decided to say nothing. After all, it was better for her to be a little less embarrassed, even if only slightly.

"And I can bring a good dowry, too! Title and lands, everything!"

I flinched at those words.

It was indeed true. Since Louise was an only child, she stood to inherit the barony and its lands. If we married, our children would inherit those titles and lands. Until then, I would effectively manage them.

But somehow, it sounded a bit like blind patriotism. It wasn’t wrong, but the wording was off.

Still, I couldn't open my mouth in response to Louise's passionate confession. It was such an unexpected declaration from someone I never considered a romantic prospect.

"I'm not asking for an answer right now. It took me a long time to confess, so I'm not expecting a quick response from you, oppa."

Fortunately, she seemed to understand my feelings and said that.

"I just thought you should know that it's not just Senior and the Mage Duchess who like you."

Recalling that brought another smile to my face.

Of course, I should know. How could I not after such a confession?

"And there might be more than just us three."

Thinking of that last part quickly sobered my smile.

This is unbelievable.

Marghetta on the left, the Mage Duchess on the right, and now Louise was added into the mix. Three was already more than enough. It was already beyond having flowers in both hands.

But saying that there could be more? Wouldn’t that make at least four surrounding me?

Wow.

It was dizzying. Marrying all four would be a problem, but rejecting all of them would be exactly that, too.

Accepting some while rejecting others would be even worse.

...I'll think about it later.

For now, I just need to sleep.

***

Louise must’ve poisoned me.

Damn it.

I never thought I’d find myself in such a dire state. Louise, I didn’t think you were capable of such a malicious act.

I sighed and continued walking, but my condition worsened each time I felt a gaze.

As I naturally checked the direction from where I felt the gaze, I saw a female student. Then, a thought unconsciously popped up.

...Is it her?

A wave of self-loathing immediately hit me after, and I quickened my pace.

But soon, I felt another gaze and had the same thought.

Could it be her?

More self-loathing washed over me.

Damn this.

I closed my eyes in frustration. This was a state of hyper-awareness to others' gazes, particularly from the opposite sex.

Horribly enough, I had gone delusional.

"And there might be more than just us three.”

Remembering Louise’s words from yesterday made me feel a slight, just slight resentment towards her.

Louise, why would you say that?

Was it revenge for all the time you spent in unrequited love? Did you want me to suffer just as you did, agonizing alone?

If so, then I was sorry. But wasn’t this punishment a bit too harsh?

I'm too old for delusions.

The self-loathing crept up, consuming my chest. Here I was, in my twenties, suffering from delusions with teenage girls as the subjects.

If the Minister knew, he’d laugh at me for being such a child. The Managers would somersault in laughter, asking if I was trying to fulfill my missed high school romances.

It felt like I was finally going insane. Being aware of how pathetic my current state was made it even worse.

What a fate.

I cried in my heart, but it was unavoidable. I've been hit by both the Mage Duchess and Louise consecutively, so my defenses were at their peak. I’d probably be like this for a while.

So, I decided to go to the place with the least amount of gazes. I’d stay in my own sanctuary, just holed up in the club room.

I’ll survive on cookies.

I made a firm resolution to spend lunchtime rooted in the club room.

With that tactical retreat in mind, I moved on—

"Ah, oppa!"

"Irina?"

I encountered someone I could somewhat relax around.

...Right. I wouldn’t have delusions towards Irina.

I’d be a crazy bastard if I thought Irina liked me after what the Prosecutors’ Office did to Count Yorun.

***

Was Louise always this impulsive...?

"You confessed?"

"Yes!"

Watching Louise smile from ear to ear left me dumbfounded.

It was real. Not that there was any reason for her to lie, but this was real.

“If I didn’t do it now, I’d never be able to.”

Louise spoke with a mix of embarrassment and relief, and I found myself nodding unconsciously.

She was right. With the support of the young lady and the sudden situation with the Mage Duchess... If she couldn't confess even when pushed like that, then when could she ever do it?

She would just keep making excuses and procrastinating until she grew old and died.

No way.

I suddenly imagined oppa smiling between Louise and Lady Marghetta. Then, I imagined myself watching from the sidelines.

It was horrific. If I dreamed of that scene, I was sure I’d wake up crying.

It's my turn now.

Clenching my fist, I steeled my resolve. If Louise was making a move, then I had to act too.

Of course, I shouldn’t rush it. I needed to at least prepare mentally. Yes, I had to figure out what words I would say to oppa, where I would make my first and last confession, and—

"Ah, I also mentioned Irina to oppa."

"...What?"

Louise looked at me with a face that seemed to say, ‘Didn’t I do well?’ Her sparkling eyes and smiling lips appeared to be seeking praise.

"..."

“I-Irina! Ouch!"

It seemed she wanted some affection, so I hugged her tightly.

As grateful as I was, I hugged her with all my strength.

***

Fortunately, Louise hadn’t gone as far as saying, ‘Irina loves oppa, too!’ She just hinted that more people liked him.

That’s even more dangerous.

I couldn’t be complacent. Besides me, Louise, and Lady Marghetta, there might also be others at the academy who liked oppa. Once they overcame the fear the title of Prosecutor brought, they’d see what a wonderful man he was.

If... if someone overcame that fear and oppa met them after hearing Louise's words...

Absolutely not.

I couldn't stand to see that happen. I've been nervously hovering near oppa with the young lady's permission, suffering all this while, and someone else takes the easy route?

That was unacceptable. If such a person showed up, then I would never forgive them.

I swear on Yorun’s honor.

So, I quickly went to find oppa. I felt like I'd regret it for life if I delayed and the situation I feared happened.

"Ah, oppa!"

"Irina?"

Fortunately, it seemed like Enen was looking out for me; I was able to find oppa just in time.

“What’s wrong? You look like you ran here.”

He asked with concern as he saw me gasping for breath.

His concern warmed my heart, but now wasn’t the time to be lost in that warmth.

"Oppa. There's something I really need to tell you."

"To me?"

Despite the suddenness, oppa nodded as if to say, go ahead and speak.

"I'm not from a ducal family, nor will I inherit a title."

The ducal houses, the pinnacle of nobility, were treated higher than ordinary nobles. I belonged to none of that.

"But still, the Yorun family is a prestigious house. It may not be as grand as Krasius, but... still, I’m not unworthy of being by your side.”

At my words, oppa's eyes began to tremble.

Seeing that made me tremble as well, but I didn't run away. There was no place to retreat to now.

"What do you think, oppa...?"

...Though I couldn’t help but falter at the end.

***

Wow.

Wowwww...

3rd Manager, damn you.

Did he spray something on the Yorun family?

It was a reasonable suspicion. Poor Irina seemed to have been caught in the nefarious biochemical attack of the wicked 3rd Manager and lost her senses.

It's clear now.

Of course, I deliberately ignored the fact that Irina was already at the academy when the 3rd Manager raided the Yorun family.

I was truly clueless and dumb.

Just let it be that /genesisforsaken