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Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 102 - Snow Pear Flavored Dead Gong (1)
Translated by Hua Li ^_~
Welcome.
The automatic door opened, and the electronic sound rang out, pulling the shop owner, who was immersed in eliminating monsters in a game, back to reality. Swiftly tossing the phone onto the cashier counter, the shop owner raised his head, revealing a young smiling face, and said, “Welcome—Azhuo, Why is it you again?”
Seeing the newcomer, the shop owner immediately withdrew the sweet dimples on his cheeks, and picked up his phone again.
Gou Liang didn’t even bother to raise his head, “What are you up to today? Whether it’s picking up girls or Cosplay, do whatever, just compensate for any damages to my shop items.”
“Qining, let me tell you—”
Sun Zhuozhuo slapped the cashier counter, “Do you know something weird happened yesterday! Since you pulled out my sword yesterday, it has been making noise all night without stopping. I told my parents, but they didn’t believe it. This guy is cunning; as soon as someone else comes, he immediately stops. It made my mom think I had hallucinations after losing sleep, and she even discussed with my dad about finding a psychologist for me. Fortunately, I, Lord Sun, am resourceful and left a way out!”
Saying this, Sun Zhuozhuo took out his phone and handed it to Gou Liang, “Look at this!”
The video was shot in Sun Zhuozhuo’s bedroom, where an old bronze sword, looking worn out, was casually placed against the corner of the sofa but became the star of the video.
As soon as Gou Liang saw that sword, his expression changed. About to say something, Sun Zhuozhuo playfully raised a finger, signaling him to stay quiet.
“Shh, here comes the highlight.”
As soon as he finished speaking, the bronze sword in the video made a clanging sound. The sword body trembled as if something inside couldn’t wait to burst out of the scabbard.
Gou Liang’s face turned pale. He slammed his palm on the phone table, pretending to be calm, “What do you want to do?”
Sun Zhuozhuo said, “This morning, I showed this video to my dad. Now, he believes it even if he didn’t before. He didn’t go to the company; he hurriedly found a master at home.”
“Bah, the bullshit master is not as good as you. After watching for a long time, he didn’t find any problems. He couldn’t even pull out the sword. He insisted that this sword is a good thing to ward off evil spirits and protect the house. He said there must be something dirty in my house that offended him. My dad’s face was so ugly at that time. You know, when we bought this house, the money spent on the Feng Shui layout alone was more than the decoration cost…”
“So, what do you want to say?”
Gou Liang’s tone was slightly impatient, but his trembling fingers clicked on the ‘quit’ game interface. However, Sun Zhuozhuo didn’t hear his inner thoughts. Grasping his hand, he said, ”
“Qining, for the sake of us sharing the same bed for four years, please go and take another look for me. Otherwise, my dad will donate my sword to the museum, and the cost of more than 100,000 yuan will be a waste!”
Gou Liang was dragged out by him, and he said with a desperate struggle: “My store is not closed yet!”
“Whatever, I’ll let my driver watch it for you. Come on, there are no customers coming anyway.”
Sun Zhuozhuo put Gou Liang into the car, sat on the driver’s seat, and threw his cell phone to him, “Qining, look at it again, you will get familiar with it.”
Gou Liang thought, it can’t get any more familiar than this.
This guy is his beloved target, and the original owner was frightened to death by him.
Meng Qining, twenty-five years old, graduated from university last year. He had no great ambitions, just wanted to keep his dad’s shop from closing down, managing his livelihood.
The original owner’s father’s name was well-known in the capital’s Feng Shui community. Generations of the family were immersed in Feng Shui and fortune-telling, considered masters in the field.
People say that this line has three shortcomings and three deficiencies—widowhood, loneliness, disability and life, money and power. Father Meng had the shortcomings of being widowed and lonely, losing his father at a young age and his wife in middle age. Originally, he thought he would also encounter a life deficiency. Unexpectedly, in his fifties, he was still going strong, and in his spring, he had a son, the original owner.
To Father Meng, this late-born son was precious.
Originally, he only wanted his son to live an ordinary and peaceful life, but he never expected that the original owner would be gifted with a pair of celestial eyes, which would allow him to see things he shouldn’t be able to see.
Father Meng deliberately cultivated him. However, the original owner was unusually timid and resistant to such things.
Father Meng was worried, and as a result, when the original owner was three years old, he broke his right hand and incurred the deficiency of being disabled. At the age of five, a major illness erupted with symptoms of heart disease, a sign of a short life, and another deficiency of life. Father Meng was worried that his son wouldn’t live longer than him, so he decided to retire, using half of his life savings to open an antique shop, teaching the original owner to identify antiques and artifacts, and avoiding other aspects of his abilities.
In Gou Liang’s eyes, Father Meng had some skills. The antique shop and the Feng Shui layout at home were both of high quality. The protective talismans made for the original owner were enough to prevent him from seeing ordinary ghosts and monsters and keep them away from him.
But unfortunately, it only worked against ordinary ghosts.
Last year, after the original owner graduated from university, Father Meng passed away, leaving him two houses, an antique shop, and some savings. Even if the original owner didn’t have much ambition, as long as he was a little frugal, his life wouldn’t be too difficult.
The antique shop had two floors, the first floor was modernly decorated, and the second floor went for a retro style, which Father Meng used to entertain old friends in the industry or handle important items or big business. In the hands of the original owner, it became useless, but when Sun Zhuozhuo came to play, he liked the antique flavor of the second floor and asked to rent the space to take Cosplay photos.
Sun Zhuozhuo and the original owner were roommates for four years in college, and their relationship was good. He was also being paid, so the original owner naturally did not refuse.
After a few more visits to take photos, yesterday’s shoot was a general from a novel. Sun Zhuozhuo was willing to spend money on his hobbies, and this sword, which cost him over a hundred thousand, was bought from someone else just to give the general’s appearance more texture and make it look decent when photoshopped.
After the successful shoot, Sun Zhuozhuo also showed off this sword. He said that only those with fate could pull it out.
A group of young people eager to join in the fun tried their best but couldn’t pull out the sword.
The original owner was also pushed to try. This play resulted in a major incident.
Not only did he pull out the sword, but he also saw a fierce ghost rushing out of the sword!
Although he immediately stuffed the sword back in, he was scared to the point of a sudden heart attack and died. Fortunately, Gou Liang arrived just in time, pretending to have stumbled and passed it off.
And the fierce ghost, hidden inside the sword, was the target…
According to the basic information from the system, his name was Bi Xia, a general who was invincible in battles three thousand years ago.
The later part of the story was quite cliché. The highly accomplished general was eventually betrayed by his lord due to his success, dying at the hands of friendly forces. Afterwards, fearing his vengeful spirit, the murderer maliciously used the bronze sword meant for warding off evil to nail it into his heart. Since then, Bi Xia remained attached to that bronze sword, unable to reincarnate.
Buried underground for three thousand years, he was only unearthed by tomb raiders a little over a hundred years ago and eventually ended up in Sun Zhuozhuo’s hands.
Gou Liang felt some pity for his experience, wondering how much Bi Xia himself remembered.
[System: Master, I think you should take some time to sympathize with yourself now. He looks so… distinctive, that he scared the original owner to death.]
—The original owner’s death was too sudden, and the ghost that scared him to death left only a hastily imprinted red-black shadow in the soul image mirror, making it difficult to discern its appearance.
[Gou Liang: Can we not be so shallow?]
[System: As long as his spiritual power is not too unpalatable, it’s fine, right? →3→]
[Gou Liang: (^v^)]
*
Sun Zhuozhuo’s family was very well-off.
As a member of the Meng family, in order to learn Meng family’s mystical arts, Gou Liang had used items from a system guide to quickly become a national scholar, which systematically taught the study of Feng Shui and fortune-telling. Although Gou Liang didn’t specialize in it, he made use of what he learned. With a single glance, he could see that the house was meticulously arranged in Feng Shui. However, being too meticulous might be counterproductive, especially in this residential area, which was already a Feng Shui treasure. Such precious Feng Shui might not be a good thing for those who couldn’t afford it.
From the looks of it, Sun Zhuozhuo couldn’t sleep well at night not just because of his irregular schedule.
However, Gou Liang didn’t think about pointing it out.
Although the original owner’s level was limited, he had never shown his skills in front of others before. With family teachings preceding him, no one knew his true abilities. Gou Liang could freely demonstrate them. However, Sun Zhuozhuo was clueless about this and wasn’t a good target for showing off.
“Come in quickly, don’t be polite. My parents are not at home now.”
Sun Zhuozhuo greeted him in a carefree manner. The aunt, seeing a guest, came up to ask if he wanted tea but was sent away. Without much ado, Sun Zhuozhuo led Gou Liang upstairs.
“My dad has given me an ultimatum. If the sword is still here when he comes back tonight, he will kick both me and the sword out to sleep on the street. Qining, you must help me.”
Gou Liang’s gaze locked onto the bronze sword.
For some reason, Sun Zhuozhuo, clearly afraid, hadn’t taken the bronze sword out of the bedroom, and its position was slightly shifted from the video. It seemed that the master invited by Uncle Sun had tampered with it. This sword was ancient but sold so cheaply because it was rusty all over, with a terrible appearance. It couldn’t be pulled out due to “unknown reasons,” and antique dealers didn’t want to donate it to a museum, so they could only deceive someone like Sun Zhuozhuo, who had plenty of money but little sense.
Gou Liang said, “You go out first, let me talk to him alone.”
Sun Zhuozhuo took a deep breath and lowered his voice, “Is there really something there?”
He pointed to the sword, and Gou Liang’s face also turned pale. He said, “Don’t ask, just go out first.”
Sun Zhuozhuo walked away, looking back every three steps.
Gou Liang wasn’t sure how much the target knew about the original owner’s understanding, or if he knew that he had frightened a timid youth to death. So he had to maintain an appearance of timidity, cautiously approaching the bronze sword. He bowed sincerely, “Big brother, I’m sorry, I offended you yesterday. It wasn’t intentional. Please don’t blame me.”
The sword suddenly vibrated. Gou Liang took a step back, saying, “Can you really hear me talking?”
The sword vibrated again.
Gou Liang said, “Then, big brother, can we discuss something?”
He respectfully bowed three times to the bronze sword, “My friend, the one who bought this sword, absolutely didn’t mean to disrespect you. Ignorance is not a crime. If there’s anything disrespectful to you, I’ll let him come in and kowtow to you. Please, please don’t absorb his yang qi. Look at his big dark circles, he can’t sleep well at night, and his own vitality is not enough, the quality is also really poor…”
The sword made a clanging sound.
“Ah, do you want to absorb me? I’m not good either. Look, I’m so thin, not much meat…”
The sword clanged twice.
“You don’t want to? As long as you don’t absorb me, that’s good… So, what do you want me to do?”
The sword remained silent, so Gou Liang could only guess, “Are you hungry? I’ll burn some incense for you. I guarantee to use the most expensive ones in my shop! No… Could it be that you want me to pull out the sword again?”
The sword made a sound.
Gou Liang, shivering, reached out his hand, turned his head away without daring to look directly at the bronze sword. He swallowed and said, ”Brother, I listen to you, but you must not hurt me. I have absolutely no ill intentions towards you, you believe me. …”
As he spoke, Gou Liang closed his eyes and pulled out the bronze sword.
“Bi-big brother, is it okay now?”
“Yes.”
A clear, cold voice came.
Gou Liang was stunned and looked up abruptly.
He saw a tall man in a black robe with goldfish patterns, who bowed politely to him and said, “I am Bi Xia, Courtesy name, Wu Zhan, from Hu Kingdom. I appreciate the little brother’s help. I owe you a favor, and I will repay it in the future.”
The man in front of him still had the familiar sword-like eyebrows, handsome features, clear eyes, but a completely different temperament.
Even though he was dressed in black and had a slight smile on his face, it couldn’t hide the two words that emanated from his eyes: Abstinence.
Gou Liang suppressed the impulse to rush up and strip off his abstinent clothes to reveal his sexy inner self. He stammered, “No, no need, you’re too, too polite… Um, the person I saw yesterday… uh, is it you?”
Bi Xia paused, realizing that the original owner’s memory of fear was deep.
He bowed again, “I apologize. I haven’t seen the light of day for a long time, and in my haste, my appearance is not well-groomed. I startled the little brother.”
That couldn’t be just an un-groomed appearance!
It must have revealed a ferocious look; otherwise, the original owner’s courage, even if small, wouldn’t have caused a sudden heart attack at first sight.
Gou Liang waved his hands repeatedly, stood up, patted his buttocks and clapped his hands. Mimicking his posture, Gou Liang also bowed, saying, “You seem to be a refined person. Well… there’s something I’d like to ask for your help.”
“What is it? Feel free to speak, little brother.”
Is this a bit different from the image of the iron-blooded general who was invincible in battles?
Internal complaints aside, Gou Liang carefully chose his words and said, “Well, my friend unintentionally brought you home from an antique dealer. You… um, had a somewhat restless sleep last night and frightened him. If possible, is it convenient for you to move elsewhere?”
Bi Xia said, “What difficulty is there? However, I cannot currently leave this sword. I wonder if the little brother can discuss with your friend to take me away.”
“You, you, you want to go home with me?”
Gou Liang widened his eyes.
Bi Xia smiled slightly, “So be it.”
Gou Liang opened his mouth but didn’t dare to utter the refusal. He murmured, “Well, I have to ask him first.”
Bi Xia: “That’s only right.”
Gou Liang called Sun Zhuozhuo, and Sun Zhuozhuo, who had been waiting outside the door, immediately pushed the door open when he heard the sound. Seeing the sword pulled out on the ground, he couldn’t help patting Gou Liang’s shoulder, “Impressive, Qining, others can’t open it, only you can! So, what method do you have now?… What are you looking at?”
Bi Xia: “Rest assured, ordinary people can’t see me.”
There’s nothing reassuring about that.
Seeing Sun Zhuozhuo’s somewhat creepy expression, Gou Liang didn’t want to scare his little partner—actually, he wished to privately keep the target exclusively. He said, “Azhuo, your photos are also taken. This sword is useless for you. Putting it in your house also doesn’t match the layout. How about this, I’ll buy it from you at the original price and take it back to my shop.”
“Hey? Brother, is there anything strange here?”
Gou Liang: “No, it’s just that the Feng Shui in your house is too good, not suitable for keeping him.”
“Hey, it’s not much money, just take it. That unscrupulous merchant had golden teeth in his mouth. I later inquired, and even at this condition, he thought selling it for even ten thousand was too expensive.”
Sun Zhuozhuo said indifferently, but his eyes were still curiously drifting towards the bronze sword.
Gou Liang said, “That won’t do. If I take it back, maybe I’ll meet someone even dumber than you, and I can sell it for over two hundred thousand.”
“Damn, do you have to be so damaging to your own brother?”
Sun Zhuozhuo knew that Gou Liang’s family background was decent, and seeing him insisting on transferring the money, he didn’t refuse.
Gou Liang breathed a sigh of relief, carefully lifted the sword with both hands, and said, “Now, you belong to me. I’ll take you home. However, I have to trouble you for a while, okay?”
He spoke to the sword, but his peripheral vision glanced at Bi Xia’s location.
Bi Xia said, “Thank you.”
He walked over without hesitation, and Gou Liang felt a chill passing through his body. Shortly after, the person in front of him disappeared. Gou Liang quietly stared at the sword for a few seconds, as if waiting for him to arrange a comfortable sleeping posture inside, before solemnly closing the sword and holding it to his chest.
“I’ll take him away now.”
Gou Liang said.
Sun Zhuozhuo, stunned, exaggeratedly pressed his jaw back, hooked his arm around Gou Liang, and walked out, saying, “Bro, did you really see something unclean?”
“Don’t talk nonsense.” You are the one who is unclean.
However, Sun Zhuozhuo thought of the bronze sword in Gou Liang’s arms. Although he still had doubts in his heart, he closed his mouth cautiously.
After going downstairs, Sun’s father had already returned and was talking to someone in the living room. The person wore an old-fashioned gray long gown, with gray-white hair. Sun Zhuozhuo whispered to Gou Liang, “This is the master who looked at Feng Shui for our family back then.”
He quickly walked downstairs, “Uncle Zhang, you’re here, long time no see.”
Master Zhang also greeted him, but his eyes fell on Gou Liang. Seeing this, Sun Zhuozhuo said, “Dad, Uncle Zhang, I have a friend here. I’ll send him back first, and you can chat.”
“Wait.”
Master Zhang stopped them, put down the teacup, and stood up, saying, “This young man, the thing in your arms should be the sword Sun mentioned, right? It does look a bit strange. Let me take a look.”
Sun Zhuozhuo was about to agree when Gou Liang said, “Sorry, Azhuo just transferred the sword to me.”
Master Zhang: “… Can you let me examine it?”
Gou Liang: “Sorry, it’s not very convenient.”
Master Zhang: “…”
He took out a business card from his pocket and handed it to Gou Liang, saying sincerely, “Young man, if there’s anything, you can contact me anytime.”
Gou Liang held the sword tightly with one hand and took the business card with the other, thanking him.
“Master Zhang, is this sword really…”
The door closed, blocking the voices of Sun’s father inside.
Sun Zhuozhuo apologized, “I didn’t know my dad invited someone. Please don’t mind.”
Gou Liang shook his head, “You don’t need to send me. I’ll go back by myself.”
“No, with this thing in your arms, can the master let you in the car? Stop talking nonsense and come on, my family’s driver is still held at your shop.”
Sun Zhuozhuo dragged him away.
After getting off the car, Gou Liang hesitated for a moment and said, “When you go back, if that master is still there, find an opportunity to tell him about your insomnia recently.”
“Huh?”
“Just do it. I won’t harm you.”
Saying that, Gou Liang, holding the sword like a treasure, walked quickly back to the shop, almost flying with each step.
—Finally, I brought you home, my target big brother (づ ̄3 ̄)づ
My ‘last’ exam was cancelled due to a cyclone up our place and it has been postponed to January. It’s frustrating. Fortunately, communications were down only for a day, now everything’s back up. Since, now I am officially on holiday, I will go back to the frequency of 2 updates per week. 😉