Eighteen's Bed-Chapter 18.4: My Graduation Day (4)

December. As soon as the finals were over, the classroom turned into a chaotic mess. We watched movies non-stop until the fourth period.

The usual group of nerds who shut themselves up in their rooms and only worked on problems had no idea what to do for fun. And, of course, they brought in a boring movie series. They kept rambling on about the continuity of the film universe as if it was exciting, constantly forcing us to watch, but I was already sick of it after the first one, so I just focused on my listening practice.

Because of that, my seat automatically changed to the back. Right next to Go Yohan. The silver lining was that he didn't place his calf on my thigh or openly poke my cheek. It seemed like he had painfully realized that such actions could harm his reputation.

But he didn't stop with his antics. Even though he pretended to be cautious, Go Yohan's true nature never went away. A prime example was when he slid his hand under the desk to touch my knee.

“...Stop it.”

“Why?”

“Other people can see.”

“They're not looking.”

I flicked my knee, brushing off Go Yohan's hand. I leaned back in the chair, my eyes aimlessly fixed on the screen. The only thing that was mildly interesting about this movie was that the male lead was somewhat good-looking. Resting my chin in my hand, I kept watching, and Go Yohan leaned in closer.

“Aren't you curious?”

“About what?”

“How I did on the college entrance exam.”

“You must have done well.”

With nothing else to focus on, I just stared at the male lead’s back and butt. Suddenly, the guy in the seat in front of me shouted, "You shouldn't fall for it, you bastard!" completely blocking the screen with his head, and I couldn’t see the lead anymore. I tilted my head toward the aisle. Just in time, a service shot filled the screen.

“...The exam is over, and your tone is still so lacking in sincerity. You.”

Looking at the swaying hips, I didn’t feel aroused; I just felt frustrated. It wasn’t like some perverted animal behavior. Were they barbarians?

“Hey, Jun.”

Well, at least it was better than the shots of women’s chests. Those didn’t even get a reaction from me.

“Hey!”

“Ah!”

A sharp pain hit my lower back. When I came to, my head had been yanked down toward the desk. Ugh. My suddenly twisted back hurt, and I frowned. Turning my head while still frowning, I saw that Go Yohan’s face didn’t look too good.

Ah, I messed up. I should’ve pretended a bit more sincerely. I quickly tried to laugh it off and said, “Sorry, the movie’s just so interesting.”

“....”

Go Yohan, who was scowling, glared at the screen. When he made that face, I knew he was about to do something. I didn’t even flinch anymore. Go Yohan stood up and gently pressed his hand on my shoulder.

“Who the hell brought this crappy movie?”

Go Yohan slightly parted his lips, moving his jaw. There was a popping sound from his misaligned muscles. The classroom, once filled with tension from the movie’s climax, grew cold for a different reason. I could clearly see some of the classmates glancing around, uneasy.

“What? What? Is it boring?”

“You guys keep talking about some movie universe you’ve created, and it’s boring as hell. Change it immediately. I thought I was going to die from how loud your voices were.”

He didn’t stop there, though. He grabbed the remote from the kid sitting in front of us and turned the screen. Go Yohan slammed the buttons in frustration. Eventually, a random movie started, but when he was about to press play, Go Yohan stopped and looked around.

“Anyone else want to watch something else?”

“...Uh, how about we watch that Korean comedy movie next to it?”

“Anyone agree?”

“I do, I do! I heard it’s really fun.”

“Alright, let’s do it, you bastards.”

Go Yohan laughed mockingly and pressed a few more buttons before confirming. The B-grade comedy movie, famous for breaking even due to word-of-mouth online, started playing. I was watching Go Yohan’s dictatorship with disgust, but eventually, I had to admit that his choice wasn’t that bad after all.

“...Pfft.”

Not long after it started, I found myself laughing. Even though I was laughing, I felt a bit embarrassed for enjoying this kind of humor, so I covered my mouth and looked around. Luckily, there were others like me. The atmosphere was definitely better than before. I was more satisfied with the simple, one-off gags than the forced, ongoing series.

The kids who had been complaining about Go Yohan’s decision were soon engrossed in the movie. It was clear why it had become so popular without any ads. I nodded to myself.

“...Is this fun?”

Go Yohan, who had already settled into his seat, asked cautiously. I didn’t understand why he was being so careful. I fixed my gaze on the screen and nodded.

“You like this kind of lame comedy.”

“Yeah, a bit.”

It was embarrassing to laugh at cheap humor, but I wasn’t going to hide it. I had learned by the time I turned nineteen that constant denial and delusions only poisoned me.

First, I decided to learn how to accept myself. I liked cheap comedy.

“It’s really fun.”

“Then...”

His long arm brushed against mine. I felt that strange warmth and turned my body. I was trying my best to avoid contact. Go Yohan, who was only looking down at the floor, didn’t notice that I had tried to move away.

“Wanna go watch a movie with me this weekend?”

This 𝓬ontent is taken from fгeewebnovёl.co𝙢.

His long fingers lightly tapped my worn-out earlobe. Looking at his ear back then, I wondered why I didn’t suspect anything. Surely, no conservative family like his would allow that kind of ear. Plus, Go Yohan also drove around a motorcycle that was too advanced for his age. It wouldn’t have been possible without material support from his family. Go Yohan had definitely not been ostracized by his family.

Go Yohan is a real bastard.

“No.”

“...Why?”

“I failed to get into the business school at Korea University.”

Actually, I hadn’t even looked at business. I pressed his cheek with my finger and propped my chin up.

“Because of you.”

Lately, Kang Jun had become very shameless. All the things that used to [N O V E L I G H T] scare him were gone. Now that graduation was fast approaching, Go Yohan, who was still just a high school student, didn’t intimidate him anymore, and the thought of being hated by him didn’t make him sad either. His life was finally getting back on track.

Additionally, after the results of the special admission came out, the homeroom teacher had been clearly pitying me.

So Go Yohan thought I was solely focused on my college entrance exam results. He’d find out soon enough once graduation was over, though. Whenever the topic of the entrance exam came up, Go Yohan stiffened so subtly that no one could notice. It was a little amusing.

“College entrance exam.”

“Uh...”

“You did well on it, right? You’ll be fine. You’ll get in.”

I won’t get in. I got into a special admission program. The words swirling in my head didn’t make it out. On screen, an actor from an idol group did a funny dance. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“That’s really funny.”

“You missed two on the entrance exam, right? They say this exam was really tough.”

“Can’t really say.”

It was just an estimated score.

“Hey, but what’s the name of that actor?”

I left Go Yohan and nudged the kid in front of me. I’d have to check it out again when I got home. I didn’t have any friends to hang out with, and I didn’t have any studying to do, so I needed something to kill time. It wasn’t a question with any ulterior motive. But before I could lean forward, my body was pulled back by a firm grip.

“Why are you asking about that?”

He was smiling, but it wasn’t a smile at all. His sharp, hateful eyes glared at me, almost as if they were cutting into me. They were bitter, untamed.

“...It’s just.”

A year ago, if I had seen those eyes, I would’ve freaked out and thrown a tantrum. “Do you think I’m some joke?” I would’ve screamed. But that was all meaningless now. In the end, I was treated like Go Yohan’s toy, a fool swimming in the gutter below him.

“I just... want to watch it again later.”

“You got a lot of time, huh? Not even worrying about college.”

“Yohan.”

I turned my body and grabbed the back of the chair. I met Go Yohan’s gaze head-on.

“It’s my college. You don’t need to worry about it.”

It’s not like it’s any of your business. You’re the reason I almost failed. The words I couldn’t say stuck in my throat. That was my situation. I had complaints, but I wasn’t tortured by them. I’d known for a long time that this was the easier path.

“....”

Go Yohan’s face twisted strangely. It looked like tangled threads or hair.

He squinted and smiled. Life is better when you look at the bigger picture. In the grand scheme of my life, I didn’t need the apex predator that saw me as a toy. But Go Yohan was too close for me to just remove him from my life. I was torn.

“...Aren’t you curious about me?”

With that tone full of longing, I said the words I knew Go Yohan would love.

“I’m sure you did just fine. You’re smart, after all.”

****

When I got home from school, it was truly the start of a dull routine. Honestly, it was better when I was at school—except for the fact that I had to see Go Yohan. I didn’t want to waste time at home doing nothing, so I decided to head to the busy area near my house. I thought about buying a book, so I went to the bookstore, and that’s when I ran into Shin Jaehyun. It was an unexpected stroke of luck.

When our eyes met, I wondered if I should greet him or not. But Shin Jaehyun raised his hand first. Guess it was okay to greet him. I let out a sigh of relief and raised my hand as well.

“Oh, hey.”

Shin Jaehyun, being tall, didn’t have to move much, and he was soon right in front of me.

“We meet again, huh?”

“You just sat quietly reading books at school.”

“The movies weren’t my thing.”

Objectively speaking, I liked Shin Jaehyun quite a bit. That’s why I had tried to approach him. Looking back, it almost seemed impossible. Me, going after Shin Jaehyun? There’s no way that could have happened. Even now, I don’t feel anything when I see him.

Shin Jaehyun, at his core, is a coward. When the situation is safe, he acts kind, but if he thinks he might be in danger, he pulls back. I couldn’t have liked someone like him. He’s even worse than Go Yohan. At least Go Yohan didn’t turn his back on Han Junwoo when he was being bullied. I smiled, hiding the ridicule, and spoke again in a friendly tone.

“Here to buy a book?”

“Yeah, I heard the book I wanted is out in English.”

“You could just buy it online.”

“I prefer picking out books myself.”

“Guess it’s because we’re not at school, but you’re talking to me a lot.”

“Well... I felt bad about what happened back then.”

He scratched his head awkwardly at my playful comment. I shrugged at him. I couldn’t even blame Shin Jaehyun; his values were something I could really relate to.

“It’s fine. I said I understand. My surroundings are pretty messed up.”

“Yeah, and the rumors have settled down a bit... It’s almost graduation too.”

The look on Shin Jaehyun’s face as he spoke wasn’t too great. It seemed like something was off, like there was something uncomfortable on his mind.

“You mean Go Yohan.”

“Yeah.”

“...He’s the first guy like that I’ve ever met.”

“...Me too.”

It was a conversation without much substance, but we understood what we meant. Our eyes met, and we silently agreed. For a moment, there was a quiet pause, but that too was part of the conversation.

When the silence started to last a bit too long, I decided to change the topic. We weren’t that close, so we didn’t need to keep talking about heavy stuff. I tried to bring up something lighter, even if it wasn’t a complete shift in topic.

“When you were in the States, you must’ve met a lot of crazy people. It’s such a big place.”

“Oh, definitely.”

“So, compared to them?”

“Well, if I had to compare, Go Yohan’s actually easier.”

I didn’t expect that kind of response. It was a bit of a letdown. Even though he picked up on my look, Shin Jaehyun didn’t back down.

“He has common sense. He’s smart.”

“Common sense?”

“We can have a conversation.”

That was a funny statement. Go Yohan and common sense?

“That’s nonsense. He’s crazy.”

“....”

“He has no common sense, no morals, and no control. He’s just... just a crazy bastard.”

I repeated my words to Shin Jaehyun as if I were forcing him to hear it again.

“He’s really crazy. He’s lost it.”

“That depends on your perspective and values.”

“Well, you think that way.”

This part didn’t match. Somehow, it reminded me of something Lim Yungi had once said about not understanding someone’s words. I pursed my lips, feeling awkward. Shin Jaehyun lightly laughed when he saw my reaction.

“I get what you mean. He does tend to act impulsively. I’ll admit that.”

“I don’t know how that guy managed to calm ‘those rumors’ down.”

“You don’t know?”

“Do you?”

“Yeah.”

Shin Jaehyun lightly scratched his neck with his finger. After thinking for a moment, he shrugged his shoulders and spoke with a slight hesitation.

“They say a photo went around.”

“A photo?”

“Things got serious among the kids, but in the end, they hushed it up. Still, it’s probably still out there somewhere.”

“What kind of photo?”

“They said it was a photo of Kim Minho and Lee Seokhyun kissing in the music room.”

What?

My face involuntarily scrunched up. What kind of nonsense was this? The image that formed in my mind was even disgusting.

“Strange, right? I felt uncomfortable too. It’s obviously forced. No proof.”

His calm voice urged my agreement. The serious tone and the lack of teasing made his sincerity stand out more. After stepping a bit closer, he whispered, careful not to be overheard.

“Among the kids, they said Kim Minho and Lee Seokhyun were joking around, fighting over their ‘size,’ and that ‘lower-level’ kids jealous of Go Yohan got involved, spreading rumors. But in the end, it just turned into the idea that Kim Minho and Lee Seokhyun were jealous of Go Yohan. The kids who used to gossip about him started it, after all.”