Eighteen's Bed-Chapter 23.3

I had known this, or rather, I had figured it out. It had taken me a while, but I had guessed that Go Yohan wasn't without friends. And even though he had deleted me, there were still messages trying to reach him, and I felt discomfort. I knew what this feeling was, but I couldn't admit that it was jealousy, so I kept my mouth shut.

Tch. I nudged his phone away with the tip of my shoe.

"..."

But I guess I'm not the type to do something petty. I should have just ignored the person sleeping in front of my door. I softened again, seeing him tilt slightly, unable to hold up the weight.

"Ugh, seriously…"

I gripped my waist with one hand and rubbed my forehead with the other, sighing. I really need to fix this bad habit of mine. I clicked my tongue lightly.

"I don't even know anymore."

Maybe I still have a long way to go before I grow up. I felt sorry for myself, living like this for now, but honestly, it felt better to just do what made me feel at ease for the time being. I turned around, planning to go to the kitchen, but then turned back into the room. I grabbed the small blanket that had been carelessly thrown on the bed and came out. As soon as I stepped over the threshold, I kneeled down, determined to make a last stand. It was my final attempt to prove I wasn’t someone so easy.

"I'm just covering you with a blanket, alright? Just the blanket. Got it?"

There was no answer, only the sound of soft breathing. As I listened to the slow, steady breaths, I felt a complex mixture of emotions.

"Talking to someone who's asleep... what’s the point?"

Pathetic. Pathetic. I absentmindedly brushed my cheek with the back of my hand, lightly tapped it, and then spread the blanket over his shoulder. Go Yohan never sleeps with anything covering him. I complained, voicing my little grievances as I pulled my hand away. And just as I tilted my head slightly, the sight of Go Yohan's nose and lips, sticking out more than usual while he slept, came into view.

"..."

What am I doing? I thought to myself, but I couldn't look away. Honestly, this wasn't my type. Go Yohan’s features were a little too delicate for my taste. But I couldn't help it. Something about the melancholic yet captivating atmosphere drew my gaze. Like I was hypnotized, my hand, which had been setting the blanket down, slowly drifted towards his nose and lips.

It seemed like if I just pressed it lightly, it would sink in. I swallowed hard. My hand, trembling so faintly I could barely feel it, brushed against his lips—the softest part. In that moment, I felt a vague heat that had no shape. My body shuddered slightly as I traced the boundary between his pale skin and the slightly peachy tone. Almost as if I were intoxicated, I leaned in closer, mesmerized by the white fluff of his soft skin illuminated by the light.

And then, something felt off.

An odd feeling welled up in me. Hadn't his muscles moved so slowly just now? I absentmindedly touched the outline of his lips and slowly lifted my chin. That’s when I met Go Yohan's eyes, wide open.

"...What are you doing?"

"...Huh?"

Confusion clouded my mind. All the heavy emotions that had intoxicated me just moments ago scattered. I quickly pulled my hand away from his lips and stammered out an excuse.

"Uh, I was... just wondering what’s on your face."

"..."

But there was no response. I was flustered, and, shyly, I averted my gaze back to him. To my embarrassment, Go Yohan was looking down at my lips with a faint smile, his gaze fixed. The dizziness hit me suddenly, and instinctively, I tried to cover my lips with my fingers.

"Wait a minute."

Before I could do that, Go Yohan gently grabbed my hand. Without warning, he cupped my head with both hands and pressed his lips firmly against my forehead.

"Hey, Go Yohan...!"

I tried to push him away in a hurry, but it was no use. Go Yohan kissed my forehead strongly, with a sound so clear that it was impossible to ignore. For a brief moment, I felt relieved it was just a kiss on the forehead, but at the same time, I felt a sense of regret. He smiled gently and kissed the spot just below my eyes.

From under my eyes, beside my temple, the curve of my jaw, my lips, my chin, he kissed up to my eyebrows and then my forehead. Each soft kiss made me close my eyes for a brief second, unable to think of anything else.

His left hand, still holding my head, gently brushed my ear.

"Are you feeling better?"

For a while, I couldn't speak. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, some stupid thing would come out. My heart boiled with desire. I just wanted him to do it a little more. Those words, betraying all my rational thoughts, knocked against my sealed lips. I simply nodded, avoiding his gaze to keep my tears from welling up.

"Good."

Then, Go Yohan stood up abruptly. As I felt his fingers lightly brush past me, I let out a sound of regret.

"Ah..."

"Did you finish the assignment? Can we hang out now?"

He didn’t hear my frustration. It was a stroke of luck, I suppose. I quickly covered my flushed face with my hand and stood up to follow him.

Without permission, Go Yohan entered my room and sat in front of the desk with my laptop. I didn't even have time to notice what he was doing, as he suddenly opened the laptop.

"What did you do for the assignment?"

"Wait, just a second!"

The black screen lit up, and my brain flickered to life. I tried to quickly cover the screen with my foot, but Go Yohan had already read the document from Kang Suhyeon that had appeared on the screen.

"A perfectly planned document with a thought that could be described as a moderately sexy and just romantic first night? What is this?"

"Ah, that’s..."

"What the hell is this trash title?"

"Just cover it. It’s not trash, it’s literally trash."

"Wait."

I hurriedly grabbed the laptop screen to cover it, but Go Yohan blocked me with his hand, rendering me completely helpless. While his sharp eyes quickly scanned all the words, I cursed Kang Suhyeon, biting my tongue.

"This isn’t... the women’s studies class I’m taking with Kang Suhyeon, is it?"

"...Yeah."

"Why the hell is there talk about sex in a women’s studies class?"

There was something uncomfortable about the way he said it that pricked at me.

"Sex and gender can’t be separated."

"..."

"...That’s what Kang Suhyeon said."

In reality, I wasn’t the one who needed to make excuses, but Go Yohan’s calm yet inherently gloomy and fierce gaze made me feel uneasy while explaining. He silently listened to me and then tapped the screen with his long fingers, continuing.

"Who’s the test subject?"

"Huh?"

"Who the hell is the guy who’s built up trust with Kang Jun for so long?"

"I don’t know. Kang Suhyeon just wrote it on his own."

I reflexively waved my hand in the air as I continued.

"We’ve known each other for two years, and that’s just the kind of relationship we were asked to find."

As I added this explanation, an uncomfortable feeling lingered. The thought that had been gnawing at me since hearing Kang Suhyeon’s words suddenly pointed to something. In my line of sight, Go Yohan was fully within my view.

"...Two years?"

It’s been two years, but we’re not exactly dating, just a weird sort of relationship.

Go Yohan mumbled to himself, and suddenly, he folded two fingers—his thumb and index. The room was so quiet I could almost hear him whispering under his breath.

"Second year, third year."

Wait. My mind started to whirl. After counting the numbers, Go Yohan, whose face showed an oddly uncomfortable expression, paused, looked up, and raised one eyebrow. It was the first time in a while that I saw him serious.

"Are you talking about the calendar years or the academic years?"

"...We never talked about that."

"You didn’t decide?"

Then, I hesitated, glancing at him, before speaking.

"We never mentioned calendar years."

A heavy silence fell. Go Yohan, still with his fingers folded, stared at me dumbly for a moment before suddenly breaking into a delighted smile. His white teeth gleamed. Go Yohan suddenly tilted his head back and stretched his neck, gazing at the ceiling. It was as if he was thinking about something when he suddenly asked,

"You said Kang Suhyeon, right?"

"...?"

"The one who gave you the assignment."

He said, with no particular emphasis, so I simply nodded as I gathered my gown, acknowledging the question.

"Yeah."

"Hmm..."

Every time Go Yohan opened his mouth, his Adam's apple bobbed. At the same time, I swallowed.

"Is something going on?"

I asked, curious about Go Yohan’s strange behavior. Finally, he raised his head and looked at me.

"I’m just curious about the intent."

Go Yohan’s eyes filled with amusement.

"This assignment is interesting."

"..."

But something indescribably creepy started crawling up my calves. Go Yohan, still pressing his left hand hard on his neck, seemed to have a dangerous vibe. Even his right hand, which was continuously squeezing the round ball, gave off the same feeling.

"By the way, should I tell you my preferences, if you need them?"

"What?"

"It says here. It reflects preferences."

Was he being deliberate or was this genuinely funny? I really didn’t think he was enjoying the assignment that much. While I was desperately trying to figure out his intentions, Go Yohan half-rose from the chair and burst out laughing so loudly that the sound echoed.

"I like..."

His thick, lingering gaze lingered on my face, and with a wider grin, his eyes shifted downward.

"Something moderately big, a little plump, but not too much volume with thin hair..."

What the hell? My face turned beet red. I was so hot I couldn’t hold myself up and collapsed onto the bed, my legs giving way. All my efforts to figure out his intentions were completely in vain. As expected, Go Yohan was a whirlwind of confusion. I quickly shouted at him,

"Stop it. Whatever you’re about to say, just don’t."

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"Oh, so now you can’t let me speak?"

"Of course not, every time you open your mouth..."

"Every time I open my mouth, what?"

A mischievous glint flickered across Go Yohan’s face. Leaning back against the chair, he laughed and asked again.

"What happens when I open my mouth?"

"...You bastard."

I tightly clenched the blanket in my hand. He was doing this just to mess with me. It was so obvious, and what made it worse was that Go Yohan was so good at pulling off these obvious tricks.

"I was talking about your hair."

"Shut up."

"I don't like people with really small faces. That's a bit of a minus for you."

That thick-skinned bastard. Not just thick, but shameless. He should say something that makes sense. First of all, the explanation Go Yohan gave doesn't make any sense from the start.

"I have a lot of hair, you know."

But then Go Yohan closed his eyes and laughed. He even covered his mouth, rolling his eyes. At that moment, I realized that I had once again fallen into Go Yohan's trickery. It was already too late to realize that.

"Really? Then where did you get so surprised about not having enough hair?"

"……."

Ah, damn it. Shit. I muttered a small curse and touched my forehead. My head was full of embarrassment. I bent over and buried my face. Honestly, I never thought my physical features would make me feel so ashamed. I had never cared about it before.

"……Hey, just get out."

I couldn't bring myself to lift my head and pointed to the door with my finger.

Yeah, the truth is, it’s embarrassing and shameful. I was already ashamed of what I had done with Go Yohan, but having him as the comparison made me want to die even more. Even when I covered myself awkwardly and felt embarrassed, every word Go Yohan said during that moment has stayed as a shameful memory. That’s why. Even the kiss that he had subtly accepted, I didn’t want it. That was the reason.

"Jun, that’s a compliment, you know?"

But whether Go Yohan knew it or not—he probably did know, right? He must have, since he’s doing all this. He kept getting close to me, talking nonsense like this.

"I really do like bald heads."

Just like now. My patience reached its limit.

"You little bastard, I’m not bald!"

I couldn’t keep my face hidden any longer and revealed it. I turned my body, grabbed the little cushions on the bed, and threw them at Go Yohan. I was so embarrassed, I felt tears almost welling up in my eyes.

"I’ve told you a hundred times, I’m not!"

"I know, I know."

What was even more annoying was that Go Yohan dodged everything I threw at him without getting hit. He barely got touched even once. He even caught the pillow I threw with both hands and casually opened his mouth.

"A peach with no allergy."

"Hey!"

Hiding my face behind the pillow, I held back my laughter, and honestly, I wanted to kill him.

"Late autumn field."

"……I told you not to."

At this point, I didn’t care if my face turned red from shame. I just wanted to hit Go Yohan once. It was so unfair and frustrating that I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Go Yohan hid his face under the pillow and shrugged his shoulders… and of course, he betrayed my expectations.

"……Peeling a banana."

What’s the point of hiding your face? His trembling shoulders were clearly visible.

Shit, I can’t take it anymore. I really want to hit that annoying bastard. It’s ridiculous how sensitive I’m getting over something so small, but I was at the point where I could no longer hold back the tears from the unbearable shame. I wiped my tears with my forearm and rushed toward Go Yohan, striking his arm and shoulder with all my might.

"Ouch, ouch. That really hurts."

"You really think I won’t kill you here?"

Actually, it didn’t hurt at all. I could have dodged if I wanted to. But the way he smiled, clearly avoiding getting hit, made my hands hesitate.

The reason was pathetic. Go Yohan didn’t laugh like this back in high school. I had never seen him laugh like that even once.

Go Yohan started laughing like that only recently. To be exact, ever since we started living together, he gradually laughed more. And only since about a week ago, after we crossed the line, he’s been laughing like this.

"……I really hate you."

If I truly hated him, I could just kick him out. I grabbed Go Yohan, who was squirming and making noises in the chair. But when Go Yohan heard me, he suddenly stopped laughing and stood up. He was in such a hurry that the chair he had been sitting in slammed into the wall behind him.

What… what’s going on?

I sniffed and looked back and forth between Go Yohan and the chair. His large frame blocked out the light from the lamp, his back slightly hunched as he looked down at me, and his long hands were hovering in the air, unsure of what to do. Then, after a while, he seemed to check me out nervously and spoke in a slightly trembling voice.

"Sorry. I really just did it because I like you…"

The confused feelings were mutual. Go Yohan’s wandering eyes made my chest tingle. Seriously, Go Yohan is a bad guy. I closed my mouth for a moment and then, out of nowhere, I blurted out something that I felt I had to say.

"You really…"

Go Yohan tightly shut his eyes. He slouched and kept his mouth shut. Seeing him like that, I continued.

"Do you really… like that?"

That word, the one I could barely bring myself to say. It didn’t even feel like something I could say. Damn. But Go Yohan slowly opened his eyes, and after seeing my expression, he seemed to relax, letting out a clumsy laugh as if he had just snapped back into his senses. He didn’t forget to nod.

"Yeah, honestly, a bald head is exactly my type."

"……."

You crazy bastard. How does he have the nerve to say that in this situation? If I had to pick someone with the strangest mindset I know, it would definitely be Go Yohan. Sometimes, I couldn’t help but imagine whether his father was like that when he was young.

But if I ever let that slip, I knew how upset Go Yohan would get, so I chose not to say it. I did, however, throw a little jab at him with my lips poking out.

"Then, you should shave yourself."